Under the weather...

Why do we call it “under the weather?”  I mean aren’t we technically under the weather all the time since most weather technically occurs “above” us.  I mean sure, weather occurs “around” us, but weather comes out of the sky.

As you know, I have determined where the phrase comes from and all you have to do is click here to find that answer.  It is with great sadness that Wikipedia doesn’t have anything on this.  They cannot be my resource for everything I guess. 

I love that it’s nautical.  Love it.  I love all things nautical.  I should be living on a boat.  Oh I was once…ugggghhhhhhhhhhh…anyway.  I don’t feel good.  It is incredibly frustrating because I should be feeling fantastic right now, almost 3 full weeks into the new exercise change…I have a feeling I know why I don’t feel good, but that doesn’t make me feel good either.

I want my mommy.  Even if I came home and went to bed, it was nice knowing she was there…up the stairs, down the hall…whatever, just there.  Yes, I can definitely drive to my moms and crawl in my old bed and let her be down “that” hall, but I honestly don’t have the energy to drive down there.  I did call her though and I guess sometimes you just want your mom to know that you don’t feel the best…because who is going to care more than your mom?  No one, I promise you, no one.  Your dog perhaps, but pretty much no one but mom cares.

I am not upset that I don’t feel good; I am upset that I am having a problem “allowing” myself to not feel good.  It’s ok if I don’t exercise tonight…I mean seriously, it is, but I can’t get passed that…perhaps because I know that I can be easily swayed to just quit.  I feel like I am passed that now, but still…you work so hard to accomplish something and you get setback for whatever reason, it’s easy to get caught up in the setbacks. 

I am rambling…I know I have been a little lax on the blogs, but I think I just need to rest.  I will work on it, but in the meantime, I just want to feel better.

Support...

I have an idea.  Do whatever you want with it, because it is merely just an idea.  At the very least you think about it.

Someone in your life, somewhere, somehow, needs your support.  Right now, this second.  Think hard.  You may be asking who it could be.  What kind of support do they need?  You may also be thinking that you are supportive enough, that you do enough for “those who need” you, and perhaps you do, but sometimes there is probably someone in your life, someone you probably least expect that could use your support. 

Supporting someone can mean many things.  For instance, maybe you have a child struggling in a class.  Are you supporting them?  Not doing their homework FOR THEM, are you helping them and if you can’t are you getting them the help they need?  Maybe you have a loved one who has health issues that require some sort of change.  For example, my grandfather has diabetes, so my grandmother, has changed her own eating habits to accommodate his needs.  Maybe you have a friend, relative, or significant other going “back to school.”  Are you being supportive by giving them the space they need to study, not making demands on their already busy schedule, helping out at home or with other things?  I suppose I can safely assume that you are all picking up what I am putting down at this point.

Hello, my name is Tiffany and I am addicted to Pinterest

As if I needed one more thing to keep me awake at night, I have fallen madly in love with Pinterest.  Yes. Me.  If you are on Pinterest, or know anything about it, it may surprise you that I am addicted to it.  If you don’t know anything about it, as usual, leave it to my good friends at Wikipedia to help me, help you.  The best way to describe it is to call it the world’s largest visual corkboard.  Some place to put all of our thoughts, hopes, fears, ideas, food we want to try, reminders of pictures we want to take, places we have been, places we want to go…as if sharing on Facebook wasn’t enough, or any other social network, along comes this monstrosity.  And by monstrosity I mean, a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (yes this is a real thing that again, my good friends at Wikipedia can explain for you) pile of information to sort through.  I can barely sort my mail (I suppose that is by choice.)

I don’t expect that some of the pins I make to the board will come as too large of a shock to most people…and then there will be some where I am sure people will go, “really, I wouldn’t have guessed this about Tiffany.”  

Pinterest is one of those things that I wish I had created myself.  What an incredibly unique way to share our individuality with one another, well the whole world really.  I probably have the most Pins under the “Bites I Want to consume” board, which just means food I want to try.  However, I have a problem with recipes. In that I don’t like following directions.  I like to make things my own way.  So this is going to be another hill to conquer.  Finding all these cool things to cook and then figuring out how to make them my own.  Either way…I am hooked.  Initially I was not and thought it was overwhelming.  Who the hell has that kind of time?  Well, try it and you will soon figure out how much time you WILL MAKE for it. 

I think it did something else I wasn’t expecting either, which so far has been my favorite part.  I turned over a new leaf a few weeks back and have been religious and diligent in this task.  Changing my diet and exercise completely.  It is truly motivating me to keep it up.  It is also making me re-evaluate my dreams.  I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true.  I am not where I want to be, doing what I want to be doing.  If I dream of this beautiful home somewhere, then by God I need to go get it.  I am strangely addicted to bathrooms too, (who knew.)  Like my dream bathroom has always been (in my mind) like going to the spa.  Well, those don’t fall out of the sky.  I have to make some of these things happen…

So right or wrong…good or bad…waste of time or not…I love Pinterest.  Kudos to the creators.  I wish I was on a team of entrepreneurs who were changing the world.  I can only physically handle so many things at one time though…otherwise the next time you hear from me it will from the inside of an OCD program.  

Happy Birthday MOMMA!

I could find a million poems about “what a mother is.” The value of a mother.  What makes a mother…and they would all be incredibly cliché and redundant.  So I will just tell you what my mother is to me.

First and foremost she was 50% responsible for creating me, but 100% responsible for getting me out into this world.  How do you thank a person for that?  Although sometimes throughout a person’s life I am sure they think things were easier BEFORE being brought into this cruel world.

I remember when I was little and would get in trouble for whatever reason and she would say, wait until you are mother, then you will know.  I am saddened that I probably will “never know,” but how could either of us know how my life would turn out?

What I remember most about growing up is how much I disappointed her.  It killed me.  It still does.  I don’t think we ever want to disappoint our parents, but we will, probably more times than we can keep track of and it will be painful each time.

I am not sure if she wanted to be a mother, or it was just how things progressed.  I think she was told that she wouldn’t be able to have children after me, but somehow managed to squeeze my brother in there.  I think in that day and time that was what you did.  Got married, had babies, took care of the home.  It would have been interesting to go back and ask is this what you WANT to do or what your Mother WANTS YOU to do.  I know that she spent half of her life trying not to disappoint her own mother.  And those were big shoes to fill.

I have a relationship with my mom that I find common, but I would probably be surprised to find out it isn’t as common as I thought.  My mom is one of my best friends.  She has been since I was very little.  We bonded early because of my poor health.  I guess there is some irony in all the years she had to take care of me, turning around to be all the years I have tried to take care of her.  She is the only mom I will ever have…there is no question to whether I would do that or not.

My mom has a heart bigger than any heart I have ever seen.  She too wears her on her sleeve.  Probably where I learned that it was acceptable to do so.  I have watched her get hurt many times because of it.  We used to make fun of her many moons ago, because if there was a card to be sent to someone, for whatever reason, my mom would send it.  She made peoples day doing this.  She could connect with people in ways most could never imagine.  She knows know stranger.  She has the most welcoming, open arms of anyone I have ever met.  She is full of passion and compassion.  But I think the thing that sticks out the most is her sincerity…you know that my mom is sincere.  You know that she means what she says…that she has no hidden agenda.

The stories I love most to hear are the ones when she used to work at the high school and how many kids’ lives she changed, just because she listened.  She was very empathetic.  She didn’t have to know what was going on at home or at school to know that some kids just needed someone to give a damn.  She has the most beautiful soul, truly. 

If you know my mom, you know that she has battled her own health issues for that past, well; lots of years…I think we are finally getting some answers, FINALLY, but it’s been a struggle for sure.  There are many times that she theoretically should have left this earth.  I guess God wasn’t ready.  She had more to do here on this earth.  I cannot even imagine that day coming because I for one know I will not be able to deal with it. 

She did make me into the woman I am today.  I am proud to say that.  I do not care what others think of her or her actions or anything she has done or become, I love her no matter what.  Although she initially was very hurt and angry at my lifestyle choice, I believe it helped her open her own heart and learn that we are not put on this earth to judge others, someone else much bigger than us all does that.

I have no way to repay you Mom…for all of the things that you have done for me, especially OUTSIDE of the realm of just being my mom.  I pray every single day for your health and happiness as I know no other person on this planet that deserves it more than you.  I admire and respect you more than I do any other human being and I can only hope I am half the daughter you hoped I would be.

Regrets...

Regrets and mistakes, their memories made…

A read an article the other day, written by a palliative care nurse, who sadly spends most of her days, with people who are literally living their last days on this earth.  When she questioned her patients about any regrets they may have had or things they wished they had done differently, 5 things continuously came up over and over and over again from every one of the individuals.  I highly doubt some of these will surprise you, but I found it interesting that the Top 5 things included nothing about money, fame or fortune.

Here are the most common regrets listed by people who were terminally ill and about to pass.

1.      I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

How incredibly true is this?  I personally decided when I was 24 to be true to myself.  It opened a plethora of doors for me.  Not everyone is capable of doing this though.  I feel incredibly bad for someone who can’t.  A very important relationship in my life ended because this person chose to live the life that was expected of them, not the life that was their true self.  I doubt I will ever know the outcome of that choice for them because the relationship ending was too incredibly painful for us to maintain contact.  I do know that it is a sad and lonely world when you are not being true to yourself though.

2.      I wish I didn’t work so hard.
More men spoke of this regret than women, since typically women for many years were not the “breadwinners.”  Most of them regretted not spending more time with their children and companion and making work take precedence over their lives.  Typically you would see this regret in a workaholic.  I have kind of run the gamut in terms of work and what I mean is that I lived, breathed, ate my work, then I took a break and left work at the office, then I became my own boss and now I am back to leaving things at the office.  My stress level has drastically reduced but I would say I find myself longing for the day that work was a choice and not a necessity.  I suppose for the average person, it will always be a necessity.

3.       I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
Many of the people questioned admitted to suppressing their feelings, mostly to keep the peace with friends and family, etc. but a lot of them developed illnesses related to holding bitterness and resentment inside.  I think we all know that I have no problem expressing myself.  Sometimes I probably do so at the incorrect time, but this is one thing I will not regret.  Ever.  I am pretty confident you know what you are getting with me and I tell you how I feel.  I really feel that people will react differently initially when you speak honestly, but two things are going to happen.  It will raise your relationship to a new and healthier level or it will release the unhealthy relationships from your life.  Either way, it is a win-win situation if you ask me.

4.       I wish I stayed in touch with my friends.
When you get to be my age, you should only be able to count your true friends on 1 hand.  I know that sounds hypocritical coming from me, but I am sure most people know what I mean when I say this.  I have a lot of friends.  I love a lot of people.  I have met a lot of people.  I do need to stay more in touch with my friends.  Life gets away from us.  In their final days most people were ashamed of this issue more so than getting their financial affairs in order.

5.      I wish I had let myself be happier.
Most of them didn’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  I probably struggle with this one the most.  I choose to let things and people and places make me unhappy, but ultimately, I am the only one who can choose.  I suck at this.  I really do.  It has been a constant struggle to constantly struggle with this.

I don’t like death in any format, but it is a fact of life.  I guess a part of me is grateful when someone knows what is going to cause this so to speak and they have time to process and get family and friends ready, even though you can never be prepared.  To me it is sort of a blessing when someone is given this time to reevaluate and get their affairs in order, physically, mentally and emotionally.  I guess what surprises me most is how simplistic most of these things are to do.  They are not hard to accomplish and yet so few of us do.

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. ~ Louisa May Alcott

The Costa Concordia...

There are so many disasters that happen in our world, most of which are unpreventable.  Natural if you will and generally weather related.  I am not considering wars and other acts of human atrocities.  There are things, catastrophic things, which we have no control over.

The Costa Concordia Cruise that went aground off the coast of Italy…there are no words for this.  I have not spoken much of my experience on the cruise ship.  Mostly out of embarrassment at the lack of time I was on it, but it was definitely not an experience I will ever forget. 

I remember when I interviewed for the job, the recruiter telling me this was one of the hardest ships in the industry to work for.  It was easy to get offered the job, hard to get on.  There were background checks and physicals and the list went on.  For about 3 months I was going in ten directions to get paperwork filled out and processed.  That was nothing compared to what happened once we got on.

Immediately you are treated like an employee, even though you don’t technically start your job for 7 days.  I flew 9 hours straight on a plane and immediately went to class.  It was a very minor introduction to your new life and then drills training.  We were taken to our muster station and told what was to happen in the event of an emergency.  This was literally within hours of my arrival.  You better know what the alarms meant when you got to class in the morning and you better know where to go when one sounds.  Within the first (and only) 2 weeks I was onboard, we went through several drills.  Lifesaving, safety drills.  Our entire first week was spent on such things.  A lot of it was classroom; a lot of it was physical.  Firefighting, water safety, CPR/First Aid, you name it, it was mandatory.  And you were required to pass it or you went home when we arrived in Honolulu the next Saturday.  Before you could “graduate” you had to literally be able to write or speak the paths to safety from your room and your place of work.  In detail.

Go ahead...make my day...

So, let me tell you how easy it is to make my day. 

This is a true story by the way.  I went to bed at 8:15PM last night.  I could not keep my peepers open.  Not one more second.  Even Brodie was confused.  He was like what?  Wait…something is terribly wrong.  But anyway, I did.  And I slept until my alarm went off this morning (with the occasional tossing and turning due to the fact that I somehow manage to finagle myself into positions only a contortionist would love, which in turn is painful and causes me to wake and readjust.)  Should’ve woke up in a fabulous mood no?  Not really…not a bad mood, just an “I sure wish I could stay in bed” mood.  Like my nieces and nephews who didn’t have school.  Well and anyone else for that matter that gets Martin Luther King Jr. off…I am positive when he announced that he had a dream it was not that the world would take a day off in his honor, but perhaps he did.

I did wake up like I do every Monday.  Or any other day really.  Thinking the following:  1-I didn’t win the lottery, probably because I didn’t play.  2-I still haven’t met the person of my dreams who says, honey, you don’t ever have to work again, and I want you to spend your days teaching the world about RumChata, probably because I rarely leave the house to meet such a person.  3-Telecommunicating has not reached my office yet, probably because I still have to show some people at the office how to run the printer, hence my absence would be detrimental to day to day operations.  4-My bills didn’t magically get paid in the middle of the night, which is probably because it took several years to accumulate them.   5-I wonder which person at the office is going to be the first to piss me off today, perhaps because at least one of them does, at least once a day. 6-I feel fat, probably because I do every day, but if this starving myself and exercising every single day doesn’t start showing some results, the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan. 7-Man I am thirsty and hungry too!  Oh, I can’t wait to eat that orange when I get to work, probably because you haven’t had a drink or food in oh, I don’t know, at least 8 hours.  8-Good thing I showered before bed last night, probably because I knew I would be too tired to do it this morning.  9-Wonder what the temp is outside, probably because the nicer it is, the longer Brodie spends doing his business which in turn is directly going to affect what time I get to work. 10-What should I make for dinner, probably because I am starving.

I am sure there is more, but you get the jist of it.

I arrive at work and within 15 minutes, someone has made me mad.  Mad because I have to basically tell them how to do THEIR own job, while trying to just focus on mine.  I mean, no need for you to be paid to do yours, if I am telling you how to do it right?  Anyway, this is when the day can be made or broken.  I can let the crap continue to run downhill, which I sometimes do, or I can simply just try to change my attitude.  Today, I just prayed for the best.

I had to call a company in Peoria this morning for a quote request on some bushings we needed…Emily, the young lady that answered the phone, was obscenely helpful and friendly.  I mean, like what the hell is wrong with you today, friendly.  Over the course of the next few hours, Emily and I had to have more conversations.  Finally, she emailed me the quote and I thought it was my civic duty to respond to her by telling her how much I appreciated her kindness, especially in a world where there was so little.  Really, I did.  I personally emailed her my thank you.  I in turn received a message from Emily telling me how much my comment made her day.

See? I chose to take the high road today.  And normally my GPS isn’t set to take the high road. 

The RumChata Epidemic Part II...My Quest for RumChata Greatness

***DISCLAIMER (THIS IS LONG)

As many of you know, or should by now, or will by the time I am done with this Blog, my original RumChata Epidemic Blog is the #1 most read Blog I have written.  Who knew?  INSANE I tell you.  The best part of the whole “RumChata” deal is that I was really just being a (this will come as a shock) smart-ass to Sister.  Interestingly, as obsessed with it as she “appeared,” she has only technically consumed two bottles.  And both of those she carried around in a cooler to spread the good cheer with others.  It is important to also mention though that as of the moment I am writing this, she has two bottles “on deck” (opened in the fridge and ready to go, (who knows why 2 of them are opened at the same time, probably the stroke) and another bottle in the “bull-pen” waiting to be called to the game.  So, in all honesty, she has not consumed that much.  And in turn, my being a smart ass backfired on me because I too liked it.  Not obsessively, but I liked it.

I want to make a difference in this world.  Normally a person that wants to do that wants to feed starving children, build homes in natural disaster riddled areas, spread the word about fighting some major cause, develop a cure for a disease…

I, Tiffany Danielle Buckman, want to make the world aware of an alcoholic beverage.  It does not contain very much alcohol, but what IT IS, is probably single handedly the most versatile product in the world.  You drink it.  You cook with it.  You bake with it.  You celebrate with it.  In a Red Solo Cup, (or a Blue Solo Cup, because I am an equal opportunity Solo cup drinker outer,) or a coffee cup, or a Dixie cup, or a measuring cup…I mean really?  Give me any cup you got, RumChata will work in it.

Once I realized the importance of my new found endeavor/goal in life, I began (unbeknownst to my friends) contacting the lovely people at RumChata or Agave Loco if you will…I know, I know, hard to believe that I “wrote” something, but I did.  Further on down the page you can read my correspondence with them.

Currently, (and I do want to accept some credit for this) RumChata is closing in on 200,000 cases sold.  3,000 of those were sold in the Knox/Fulton County areas of Illinois between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It is also CURRENTLY, the fastest growing product in the United States.  Thank you Tiffany, oh no problem, RumChata, IT’S WHAT I DO!  (Lol…seriously, I do not think that I am responsible for this however it does make for great blog material!)

Period...

Today I feel fat.

Fat and bloated.

And angry.

At people.  Who are dumb.  Who act dumb and who refuse to think or do things for themselves.  Honest to God, how do you put your clothes on in the morning? Wipe your butt? Brush your teeth?  It appears you need instructions daily on "what to do and how to do it."

Short fuse day.  I would venture a guess that my monthly visitor is on its way.  And a big whatever to you too monthly visitor.  I am pretty sure I do not need your expertise to survive.  In fact, I have gone this far without needing your sole purpose in life and am pretty sure I am not going to need it, so I wish I could donate “your parts” to some woman who would really like them.  It would make us both happy.

I am also angry because I have busted my butt, literally, this past week, to eat better, sleep better (that’s not working), exercise more, MAKE BETTER CHOICES period and you rear your ugly head and crash my party.  “You” being my period.  Oh, I know you are not here yet, but you are on your way.  I love that you need a week to warn me.  One day would be fine.  One day of feeling like a complete angry blob would be fine…you do not need to ruin an entire week prior.  You suck the life out of a perfectly happy person...I was doing great.  

Right now I have mood poisoning.  Must be something I hate.

On stocking up...

At approximately 12:45PM today Sister announced that she needed to make a trip to “The Palin” (the grocery store close to work which is really now a County Market, but she can’t stand change, so she refuses to call it by its new name), to pick up bread and milk.  It seemed a little odd that she HAD to have those two things, like immediately, so upon further inspection I was informed that whenever a “storm” was “coming” Mom always said she better get to the store for bread and milk and since we have one “coming” she better get to the store pronto.  She said, “Call Mom and ask her if she has hers.”  So I did…call Mom and ask…and this was her response… “I just told Terry I needed to run to the store for bread and milk even if we didn’t eat it, because “the storm” was coming.  REALLY?  First of all, it is NOT a storm…it is some precipitation…4” max and that is pushing it.  Coupled with some wind and bitter cold (because after all, it is January 11, 2012 and its 60 degrees out, so it will be freezing if it drops 10 degrees.)  Fine…to each their own…get ready for the big “storm of January 2012.”  

She returns from said trip…alas…with no milk.  She looked at it.  Saw it on her list.  But turned her head for one second and saw hard boiled eggs and thought “How fun, I haven’t had those in a while,” and completely forgot to get milk.  My concern?  Not that she forgot her damn milk for a storm that’s not even coming, but that she doesn’t boil her own eggs…I mean REALLY?

This is also the person who informed me that I would be driving the rest of the week since it was going to get nasty out and she had not yet procured floor mats for the back of her new car.  Best if we wait…

Momma needs a new pair of shoes...

My 2012 “turning over a new leaf” endeavor is turning out to be quite expensive, which I personally find bogus.  We are overweight, we are overfed, we are overstimulated, and we are OVER everything because it is so CHEAP to be so. 

I have important feet.  Well who doesn’t right, but really, mine are.  Not just because they are mine, but from the bottom of my feet to the base of my neck, a preposterous amount of $ has been spent on my body.  Repairing it actually.  Let’s just say I could easily be living on a lake somewhere in that log cabin I have always dreamed of…SOOOOOOOOOOOO, with that being said, it is important to me…my body that is…but my feet are of the utmost importance because they carry this bad girl around.

So it comes as no surprise to me that when I start walking and making it be an actual part of my day to day life, just like brushing my teeth, that I need new shoes.  Well, I my friends, am not able to just run to the nearest shoe store and by your average Joe sneakers to walk from point A to point B.  I could yes, but I particularly don’t wish to have future mechanical problems.  What DID surprise me however is how expensive the shoes are that I did need.  And I only have 3 choices.  Why only 3 do you ask?  Well, if you are serious about your health and getting the right shoes for your feet, you will take a test…one that evaluates your feet.  It just so happens that I am an over-pronator with a high arch.  It’s usually the other way around…if you over pronate (Google it) you should have a flat foot, or no arch.  BUT NOPE, not me…I have the two together.  And yes I know this for sure.  And yes fitness used to be my life so I know I am not getting shang-highed here…I eliminated one of the 3 strictly based on looks alone…which helps…and no they were the same price as the other two, so I wasn’t being snobbish.

This also carries over into the grocery store, which I know has nothing to do with my feet, but if you wanted to feel better; you have to spend more money.  Fruits, vegetables, etc. are not cheap…

I do not agree with this commercialism or whatever is happening and am not sure I am in the position to change it, but it is high time we did something about it.  If you have any ideas, I am willing to listen and try.

For now though, it is not necessary for you to walk a mile in my shoes, because they are entirely too expensive for me to loan out.  Sorry.  

P.S. Yes, the picture above is of the shoes I will be buying.

I am not beautiful like you...

New Year, new leaf, new outlook.  SO MUCH EASIER IN THEORY!  Reinventing yourself is not an easy thing.  I don’t care who you are.  I suppose I could hate those people who are naturally blessed with good metabolism and genes, but is that really going to solve the problem at hand?  No.  So, you take the vessel God gave you and you do the best you can with it.  And you learn, sadly, you learn that some people really do judge that vessel based on what it looks like. 

I have never been thin, nor do I want to be.  “Stocky” probably the word most used to describe me.  I am ok with that.  I mean even when I tried my hardest and lost a tremendous amount of weight, I was not “thin.”  I didn’t have a choice; my job depended on me exercising everyday…which in turn makes it a lot easier to make it a habit. 

The thing that interests me in the whole “diet and exercise” phenomena is that not every THING, works for every BODY.  Never is it more pronounced that we are all vastly different as it does in this realm.  I mean look at the millions, and I mean millions of DVD’s, diet plans, books, programs, organizations, etc.   It’s a multi-billion dollar industry.  Kudos to whatever program you have found that works for you.  But the only thing that really works is what you decide you want to live with for the rest of your life.  If Weight Watchers teaches you how to count calories and pay attention to what goes in your mouth, I think that is fantastic, if that is what YOU need.  If Jenny Craig works for you because it’s pre-portioned, pre-prepared foods, so that you don’t have to come up with that yourself, that too is fantastic.  If you exercise 5 days a week, but eat whatever you want, and still maintain…that is fantastic.  Different strokes for different folks.  The point is, it is impossible for you to look at the person next to you and think that just because they are doing something, that it will work for you.  It takes a lot of effort to not look at your neighbor and compare yourself, because we do it as humans so much in the rest of our day to day lives, with EVERYTHING!  It is almost impossible not to do this and it is worse where diet and exercise is concerned. 

So first and foremost, making a major lifestyle change requires completely ceasing to look outside of your own box.  Really.  The grass is always greener phenomenon does not work when trying to be healthy.  I know what works for me.  I know that I have to exercise every single day and I have to eat twice as much.  I have to graze.  I do know that a woman's weight fluctuates so much on a day to day basis that it is impossible to step on the scale every day and see any results.  I don't step on one anyway as it is, and I sure as hell am not going to start.  It takes 30 days to make a habit.  Few days go as slow as the first 30 days of altering your diet and exercise.  I am not interested in a number.  I am interested in feeling better, having more energy, sleeping better, and personally kicking complete ass in the next Adult Kickball tournament.  

Mine started yesterday and I am currently walking like I have a stick firmly placed in a very uncomfortable place.   This is only going to get worse.  I am prepared for battle.  I am ready for the challenge.  I am prepared to once again tackle this mountain and it is a mountain…one that makes my shins, butt, hammies, calves, etc. hurt like bloody hell.  

Anyway…wish me luck.  This chic is on a mission.  They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...well, as I see it, I am not beautiful like you…I am beautiful like me.

Roll your stone on over here...

There are some penguins that are common along the Antarctic coast called the Adelie Penguins.  If you would like to learn more about them I have included the link from my friends (they are not really my friends but I use it almost as much as Google, so I feel close to them) at Wikipedia.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad%C3%A9lie_Penguin

If you enjoy penguins I am sure this information will fascinate you, or perhaps just be interesting to say the least.  I love penguins for various reasons, many of which are not why I am posting about them in this blog, (and of which would probably actually bore you to death,) but I saw an article on them the other day (or maybe it was just a little blurb) and it fascinated me.

Stones are huge to penguins.  I don’t mean that they live around big rocks, I mean stones play a vital role in a lot of species of penguins’ lives.  Primarily used for nesting, Adelie penguins get very aggressive when other Adelie’s steal their stones.  It is noted that these penguins are quite full of themselves and act very childlike or childish rather.  That still isn’t what fascinates me. 

When it is time to mate, a male Adelie penguin rolls a stone toward a female’s feet.  If she accepts, they will mate.  If she doesn’t, they won’t.   Sometimes they mate for life, but it is not uncommon for them to stay together for several years and then just not return to their mate, and roll another stone…

Why does that fascinate me?  The simplicity of it.  Here…look at this pretty little stone…do you like?  Yeah?  Ok, let’s have babies.  No? Ok, I will find someone else who will like it.  No drama, no B.S., no lying, cheating, stealing, just a simple yes or no.  No asking why, no crying, no looking in a mirror and comparing, no nonsense.  No?  Moving along then…He doesn’t sit there and MAKE her like the stone…he just rolls it on over to the next lady penguin. 

Why can’t we do that?  As humans.  Not necessarily in regards to mating, although if you think about it, that does happen now…Hey lady, you like this rock?…well you get the idea.  What I really mean is just the simplicity in finding a partner.  One that sticks with you and is faithful.  Even if it is not forever…but they share the task of raising the babies.  It’s not one sided.  Just a really simple gesture that doesn’t get blown up and broken down if the female doesn’t accept the pebble.

It will never be that simple for humans.

How to boil water...

What a crazy day!  I love being busy, absolutely love it.  I hate being busy because I have a deadline though and I am right down to the wire.  That stresses me out a bit.  FINE…More than a bit.  Especially because of someone else’s poor time management.  So, a very big part of my job (that most people don’t even know I have) is dependent on getting information from other people.  Most of the times I have to search and find that information myself…again, no problem…if I have more than a minute to find it.  I am OCD about information, about the piles on my desk, about the piles in my head.  I can handle pressure, and I will admit I complain about it the whole time…but I can handle it a lot more if that pressure is brought on by myself or something I have done, instead of that pressure being brought on to me because I am waiting for information from someone else.

So with that being said, today was one of those days that I forgot to the go bathroom.  Would have forgotten to eat had sister no fed me half her soup.  One thing after another…after another… after another.  It just kept going, like boiling water. 

Have you ever watched a pot of boiling water?  I mean, I know “a watched pot never boils”…but have you ever watched one?  It’s a lot of hard work for the water.  And when it starts increasing in intensity you get excited because a) all its hard work is paying off, and b) the quicker you can get your food cooked.  But then when you put the food in it tapers off…calms down…to a slow roll and its almost sad…like sorry man, I know you just hauled it to get to this point and I go a throw a wrench in it so to speak…probably really just noodles and not a wrench, but just the same.  This is how I feel when I am working on something(s) and it builds…like for a deadline.

I had three deadlines to meet today…all at the same time.  I got them done.  With 5 minutes to spare…but I felt like boiling water all day until 15 minutes till 2!  Pretty much a slow boil all day, and then I reached my, for lack of a better term, “boiling point” and then, just like that, noodles were added, or in this case, the work got completed and everything just stopped.  Like slamming on the brakes.  And I was sad…not because my work was done, but because it took so much energy to get to that point and then it was just over.  Sometimes life feels like one big pot of boiling water.

Anyway, I have an amazing weekend planned and have decided for all the boiling today required, I am going to start early!

P.S.        Putting a lid on a pot of water, will indeed, make it boil faster. 

Something to believe in...

Wow…long time no Blog.  It’s been a whirlwind of emotions this past holiday season, and to be honest, I am glad they are over…that being the holidays.  I think the older a person gets the more stressful they become.  Then you add a divided family to the mix and that’s always fun (not.)  I can successfully say that I started my Holiday Cheer a little too early this year.  Not all of my cheer, just my HOLIDAY cheer.  I was warned that I was starting too early.  I generally don’t listen though.

I need a mini voice recorder because when I am lying in bed with insomnia (such as I was last night) I think of a thousand things I want to write.  And then I play a game, going over and over and over the topic in my mind thinking I will remember or even dream about it and then bam, no such luck.

2011 did not turn out the way I expected, but then again neither have any of the previous years so perhaps this would be a good year to stop having them.  Expectations that is.

Life is what you make it.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff…I could go on with the cliché’s about living life daily and not letting people hurt you or not getting angry or not allowing someone to make you feel inferior, or appreciating your job or appreciating your relationships…or growing up and realizing someone has it so much worse than you do…the point being I can talk until I am blue in the face about “living my best life,” but the truth of the matter is, to put it bluntly, shit happens.

When you try to plan for a rainy day, the rainy day comes before you can totally prepare for it.  You can treat everyone the way you want to be treated but there will still be one schmuck who ruins it for everyone.  You can sit back and be jealous/envious of what other people have and especially so at the ones who get those things but never have to work for them, but feeling that way will not change things.  You can be a friend to someone and think it should be relatively easy for them to return the favor, but in reality it’s the last thing that they want to do or will do.