Pick you up on the way to the end of the world...

Do you know where you are going when the end of the world comes?  Do you have a plan?  Are you a “prepper?”  You know, one of those people that do have a plan?  Well the good news is I am getting picked up, that is all I can say.

My work schedule changed, so I was no longer able to take the kids to school…but it’s slow at work now, so I decided to come in a little later and hence, I can take them…after all school is almost out.  The drive went something like this.

Me-GOOD MORNING DALTON!  Did you miss Aunt Tiff?

Dalton-Yeah

Me-No you didn’t

Dalton-Yes, YES I did.

Me-Where is your sister? Is she being a biotch?

Dalton-She’s coming and always.

Me-How many more days of school?

Dalton-mumbling something about last day, and how he is not going because he can’t put off the trip to  Minnesota

Me-With Dad?  Boys fishing trip?

Dalton-And hopefully Nick and Chase

Me to Kolbie-GOOD MORNING SCOOBY!  Wahooo car pooling with Aunt Tiff again! How are you?

Kolbie-hmmmmph, fine

Me-I wish I could go on a fishing trip and catch some big walleye and eat them right then and there, but there is probably no girls allowed.

Dalton-Kolbie

Me-Kolbie is going?

Dalton-No she is a girl and she is not allowed.

Kolbie-Shut up Dalton

Dalton-You shut up

Me-Kolbie are you ready for school to be out?

Kolbie-yes I hate school

Me-Can you believe Bella is graduating?  I cannot believe it.  Your brother will be soon too!

Kolbie-I wish I was, everyone in my class is mean, they are jerks

Me-Have you ever seen Step Brothers?

D/K-Yeah

Me-Just call them boats and hoes

D/K-Giggles K-I love that show!

Me-well you probably should not call them that at school, but you can sing it in your head

Kolbie-I know every single line in that movie!

Me-IT’S THE FREAKING CATALINA WINE MIXER!

Me-So…did you see the Bald Eagle in Papa’s field yesterday?  It was so pretty and I would imagine if I got up close to one I would probably crap my pants because they are so cool and so big. 

Giggles…

Me to Dalton-So how is your prepping going?

Dalton-Prepping?

Me-end of the world, zombie apocalypse…

Dalton-I honestly haven’t thought about it much and there really is no way to prepare for all the different kinds.

Me-like nuclear versus chemical or viral

Dalton-yeah and not all zombies act the same

Me-I don’t care how they act, I want to know who is going to come get me, I mean where are we going, do we have a plan?

Kolbie-It’s called a car and someone will drive to get you, probably me.

Dalton-NO Kolbie it will not be you, we cannot have people driving cars who can’t keep their heads together

Kolbie-Shut up I can too, I will just run them over

Dalton-no, you will not be driving, anything, there will be plenty of other people who can handle the job

Me-STOP, I just want to know what the hell I am supposed to do?  Who is in charge of me?

Dalton-long pause, drawing pictures in the air, thinking…

Dalton-We will swing by and get you, it’s on the way

Me-On the way to where?

Kolbie-The bunker duh

Me-We have a bunker and I don’t know about it?

Dalton-you know not all zombies eat people, some are harmless

Me-I am pretty sure I am not going to take the time to figure it out

Me-Like I imagine it to be just like The Walking Dead

Kolbie-I will have a knife, to stab them in the head

Me-I think you will need a sword

Dalton-we will not be using many guns, we don’t need to alert others to our location

Me-Yeah and it’s not like we will have an unlimited supply of ammo, it will be just like The Walking Dead and we will have to travel to steal more

Dalton-yes that is a very good depiction of the end of the world, pretty accurate if you ask me

Me-well, let’s be honest, Rick has a lot on his shoulders, but even he loses his mind sometimes, so maybe we should consider letting Kolbie drive

Dalton-ummmm no

Just a chapter in your book...

There are so many things I want to write today.  SO. VERY. MANY.  But with the current state of my mind, it's probably best that I just go as far from what I really want to say as I can.

With that being said.  My oldest niece graduates next week.  Today is her last day of High School.  If you knew how hard it was to raise this child, you would understand the magnitude of this day.  And I can say that because I did help raise her.  In more ways then just babysitting her.

If you do not know Isabella Marie Boyer personally, its doubtful any of this will make sense.  But it should still be a great read.  And yes I have already written to her a couple times with my advice but really, can an Aunt ever give TOO much advice?

She remains to this day, probably to this moment, the most stubborn hard-headed little creature I have ever met.  Like when a child is created they obviously get the best and worst of both of their parents.  She did.  And multiplied.  It has been her way or the highway since she was old enough to smile.  None of that has changed.  She is feisty, she is temperamental, she is obstinate, she is ballsy, she is independent, she is extremely stuck in her ways, she is an individual, she is just her.  Of all of the people I have ever met in my life, she is probably one of the very few who took the products of her environment and instead of allowing them to "form and mold" her, she refused to be changed.  It sounds like someone else I know, but to compare our battles would be futile because they will never be the same.

So Bella, on this your last day of HS, I can say a few things. This is just a chapter in your book dear.  There will be many new ones.  Take the advice or leave it.  You know enough about your Aunt to know that I will say it anyway...I don't claim to ever be right or wrong, I just claim that everyone will always know how I feel.

Here goes...

• There will be a day soon, sooner than you think, that you will wish you hadn't wished these past 4 years away.  I don't know when, and I don't know why, but now is when the hard stuff begins.  
• People are cruel.  Vindictive, hurtful, mean.  They are everywhere and you can't run from them.  It doesn't matter how far "you go" you will find more.  Just know that, because it won't change after HS.
• The next 4 years or however long it takes to accomplish your current goal, are going to be the best.  I still look back today and wish I could back to college and that "time" in my life.  You have freedom, but you still have roots.  Only you can determine how much freedom and only you can decide how much you need of your roots to continue to keep you grounded.
• Be who YOU want to be.  Not what you think others want you to be.  If you begin a degree and you don't like it, change it.
• Be nice.  Be polite.  Be kind.  Be open.  Listen.  Embrace. Laugh. Cry.  Throw things. Punch a bag, go for a walk, ride a bike, go fishing.  I don't think I have to tell you any of this, because you already do.
• Friends come and go.  Good friends come and go.  If you can believe in, have faith in, and trust just a few, then you are rich beyond years.  YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE to validate that.
• You will learn and really soon, that having "things" doesn't necessarily make a person happy.  It just means you have a lot of things.  
• You will be successful and happy as long as you don't get in your own damn way.  Don't depend on someone else to get those things for you...because you will be severely disappointed.
• And speaking of, people will disappoint you daily.  Including your parents and family.  It happens...part of the cycle.  Try not to have expectations.  I would love to tell you it is easy but I myself haven't mastered that.  Just try.

I could go on and on and on and on, but just remember to take care of you.  The older you get the more you will realize that YOU are all that will take care of you.  You will understand what that means some day.  And change your attitude...if you go into a day shitty and pissy, the world will hand that to you on silver platter.  I know, I have them about once a week.  I am not telling you how to live your life, I am telling you all the things I wish I would have learned when I was your age.

Give someone your heart when you are ready.  And be prepared for them to hurt you, cause it will happen and it won't be the first time...but give it to them when you are ready...not a minute before.  And speaking of that, you don't need to bother with any of that nonsense if you don't have love for and believe in yourself.  If those two things don't exist, carry on, you won't meet anyone anyway...the sexiest thing you can wear is your confidence, but don't just wear it, live it.  And I promise love will follow.  The right love.

I will be sad next Friday when you walk across the stage because A)it makes me feel old, and B)I never dreamed we would get you here. 

I love you to the moon and back, infinity and beyond.

And please, never, ever, ever, ever, forget....

Once in awhile, blow your own damn mind.

Love Aunt Tiff...

It takes a Village...

Tripping my trigger...Flipping my switch, getting my goat, frosting my cake, pissing me off, whatever you want to call it, it happens.  To us all.  Something.  At any moment, at any time, on any God given day.  I don't expect it, sometimes it just happens.  And sometimes its dumb and not worth my time or my writing and sometimes I just need to write so I can get it out of the space that it occupies in my head.  It has never been said that I would write the book on how to make friends and influence people, but this is MY venue and I am free to use it how I will.  So...consider yourselves warned.

My former bar is set to re-open soon under new ownership, which will be the 3rd since I closed.  I do not profess to have known the secret to running a good business.  I made a lot of mistakes.  Daily.  Just ask Sister.  She will tell you all of them in detail.  No one was harder on me then myself.  Anyway, the fact that it's the 3rd since I closed has no bearing on my feelings.  Or who it is.  Or where they are from.  Or what they have done.  Or who they know.  Or...you get the idea.  I RESPECT anyone who attempts to run their own business, whatever it may be, but I am particularly fond of this type of business because I myself tried.  It is so so so so so very easy to sit on that bar stool and critique an owner, and I accepted all criticism but I paid most attention to those who had either ran their own business or that type.  If you hadn't and you still criticized me, then I considered you a "backseat driver."  No one can drive as good as the actual driver.  And if you weren't driving then you are usually the first to complain...anyway.  Back to RESPECT...

KUDOS to anyone who tries.  ANYONE.  And in whatever way they want.  You can give a person all of the tips and tricks you want, but everyone has to learn what works best for them.  I offered my assistance to both owners who took over after I did, because I had been there and I am personal friends with them both.  Sally saved my life.  I have never made that a secret.  She allowed me to get on with my life and I will never forget her for that.

Maquon is NOT an easy venue to run a business.  Despite its location right on a heavily trafficked road, the community itself is pretty picky about who and what they will support.  There were a lot of people that I would have expected to patronize my business, who did not, and although I always wondered why, to each their own, everyone is free to choose where to go and spend their money.  It could have been because they didn't like my name, my family, my personality, my sexuality, the food, the service, the employees...whatever, it would have killed me trying to figure it out, because I do NOT like when people don't like me, so I just focused on the business and making it the best place it could be for those that did support me.  I think the only thing that ever pissed me off about "why" people wouldn't come is because it was "a gay bar."  Ummm, yeah, about the furthest from it.  But whatever, you can't fix stupid.

Not only is it hard to run a business in Maquon even when you are born and raised there, but it's as much if not ten times more difficult when you are NOT from there.  It's hard to explain, but it's the way the village has always been.  Regardless, that bar will do well if it can accomplish ONE THING.  Consistency.  Consistent hours, consistently good customer service, and consistently good food.  Was mine all of those things all the time?  Hell no.  We were lucky if we could get two at the same time.  It's not easy to do...but it is what we strived for daily.  I blame no one but myself for my failing in those three things.  It is easy to lose your way when you stop caring.  I had some major personal issues happen while owning it and I allowed them to control my life, which ultimately was the demise of those three things I listed above.

My trigger was tripped when for the past week at the very mention of the place re-opening, all I have heard is that it is going to be boycotted.  That people are being physically told not to support it.  I have no idea if that is true or not, but if it is?  Well, then you have opened up Pandora's box with me.

As I said, I don't know if this is another rumor that somehow gains perpetual motion via spreading it, or if there is any truth to it or not, but I can say this...WHY?  As a former owner I RESPECT and APPRECIATE anyone who tries it.  And more power to you if you can make it a success.  I will be incredibly jealous.  Not because I couldn't or didn't give it a damn good try, but because it takes a passion and a drive that I lost along the way and I miss it.  But why would you purposely not want people to do well?  I don't get it.  And if that is what is being said and people abide by it, well, then I guess that is your own business but don't expect that from me.  I am a grown ass woman.  I make my own decisions.  And pay my own bills...so if the 3 laws of Ernie don't apply, I am sorry but Fuck Off.  Unless you affect my family, pay my bills or I sleep with you, you don't get to tell me what to do.  If it is true, and I do go and give them my business, it sounds like I will be losing some friends...are they really though if that is the case?

I don't get it.  I just don't.  Again...I am not saying this is actually the truth, I am saying if it is, I don't condone it.  Life is hard enough.  The world is hard enough.  Everyone should have a chance to make their own way.  Why take that away from someone?  Why sabotage it, if it has nothing to do with you?  What would their lack of success do for you personally?  I can't wrap my hands around how whether if they do poorly or if they do well, how it can affect any individual unless they have a financially vested interest in the place.

Either way.  They will get my business, until they give me a reason not to.  That place will hold a special place in my heart for as long as my heart is beating.  No one can take that away or change that.  I want to see it do well.  I want to see the people who try, do well.  I want anyone who TRIES anything once to do well.  That alone is more than most people are willing to put on the line.

I don't profess to know what happened with either of the previous owners, why they got out, or what caused them to, or any of that, it is none of my business, it became NONE of my business when I SOLD my business.  I make my own decisions and form my own opinions about who and where I spend my money.  The money I earn.  The money that I get up and make every single day, by myself.

So with that, Dawn and Steve, you have my best wishes on your new endeavor   It will not be easy.  It's back breaking, pain staking work.  It's thankless a lot of times.  It has many rewards as well.  Be good to people and people will be good to you back.  Well, they should be...But you will have my support until you give me a reason why you shouldn't.  Regardless of how you do it, it takes a Village.  In more ways then you will realize.