As you may or may not know I lost a job. Gained a job. And then had a little surgery after that. Spent my second consecutive Fourth of July in the OSF ER. That was fun. Not.
Long story short I was having female problems. Two weeks to the day I started my new job. I'm sure that looked great to my new employer. I was back home in 24 hours having a surgery that required me to make a decision to give up my right to have children. Oh well. You didn't want any anyway right Tiff? I don't have the answer to that question but I know I wanted the right to choose. I took it pretty hard. Harder than even I thought I would. Either way I opted for the surgery that would not allow me to have children. And I am coming to terms with that as long as I never have another period. If that happens well I haven't decided who will feel that wrath. Time will tell.
I lost a lot of blood during this ordeal and never really felt ok after surgery. But the OB/GYN assured me surgery was a success and I should take this up with my regular Dr. After battling with the phones for 3 days I got my wish and had some blood drawn. I have no iron in my blood. Zip. Zero. Not registering. Can't build your blood count back up without it and those little red cells can't function without it either. So I started an iron supplement and I wait.
I felt awful. Awful. No energy. No desire. No pep in my step. Didn't feel like me. Didn't care if I felt anything. Couldn't sleep but I didn't want to move either. Going out to eat was a task. So unlike me. I knew I probably lost some but I didn't know all of it would be gone. So as I sit here typing my first blog in eons I want to stress the importance of finding out when you just don't feel like yourself. It doesn't help I battle depression on a good day so this just put me in a big funk. I knew something was up. Nor did I know how beneficial iron was to your day to day health and well being. I wanted to crawl in a hole.
I think I'm on the mend now but like I said time will tell. I will not be eating liver as suggested to increase my iron intake through diet but I can increase my leafy greens. Mom has to get iron transfusions as she does not absorb it. So that concerned me. But what concerned me more was feeling so pathetic. I'm sorry mom. But I understand now. And it sucks. It sucks bad.
And lastly. Cherish your babies. Your kids. It's very easy to complain about them or get frustrated with them or be at your wits end with them. Just try to remember there is someone right around you. Closer than you think. Who doesn't get to make that choice. To have children at all. And remember to count your blessings because children are definitely that. And they were a choice. A choice you got to make.
