At aproximately 5:55PM Eastern time, as the sun was setting in St. Pete Beach, Florida, I walked you out in front of The Tradewinds Resort and put you out to sea. It was not the plan I had intended but I made due. I had decided that from now on I would take you with me on my journeys and leave some of you at all of them. Mostly so that I can feel like a part of you was/is with me wherever I go.
It's been a good trip. We waited too long to eat one night and got cranky with each other but after we are we were all good.
Sister, Percie and I took off on our own adventure today for Fort DeSoto Beach. A place known for its sand dollar finds. Sister by some act of God, found an intact one. I hope she gets it home in one piece. I'm not entirely sure how she found it because she was most of the time with her head down writing notes in the sand.
The first full day we were here was Sisters birthday. It was rainy and cloudy so we went on a road trip. There is a bar called Jimmy B's so of course we had a few there! It was a good day until the lawyer called and I hate that Sister has to fight these battles, but we did our best to get through it and enjoy the rest of the day. I wish people knew the whole story. I wish they had an inkling of the mess you left us to sort out. Especially her. I know if you were alive you would say don't pay no mind to the gossipers. Talkers going to talk. And haters going to hate. Sometimes it's just not that easy. But I will try. I am trying.
We ended her birthday with cake on the beach. Perfect for her.
The rest of the trip has mostly been R&R. It's hard to imagine these guys doing nothing but that's what they did. And we got burned. Second day of course.
All in all it's been a great trip. I'm ready to get back to Brodie. Back to reality. Right now though? Reality blows. Yes I still love my job and I miss them. I was hoping to have some news about my personal life to share but it looks like that's going to take a little more time. I'm so scared of getting hurt I think I sabatoge my own happiness not even realizing I'm doing it. That and I require a lot out of a person. According to Sister I will be alone forever because I'm too picky. I think when it happens it's going to be amazing because I refuse to settle. I just need to be patient and hope everything happens as it should. Patience is not my strong suit.
Your equipment auction is coming up. I am truly not even sure how we will get through that day but I guess just as we have all the other shitty ones.
You loved traveling. You loved the beach. I hope a little of your spirit is in The Gulf. Like the tide, the memories of you go in and out. Like the waves, sometimes grief overcomes me. Sometimes feeling as if it may suck me under. But it pushes me back up to the shore and I can breathe again. I feel you in the wind. In the crunching of the shells beneath my toes. In the cold water crashing into me. In the song the gulls cry and carry into the wind. You would've loved this place.
I love you Dad. And miss you something fierce.
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