Do You Need Anything? Anything At All...

I posted something about this last week on my Facebook page, but contrary to popular belief I was NOT kidding when I wrote it.  So it leads me to wonder how many of us actually mean what we say.  NOW…I know that I have been more than forward with how I feel about people saying what they mean, but it really is just that simple for me.  If you don’t mean something, don’t say it.  If you do say something, follow through.  To me personally, it really is that simple.  I will be the first to admit that when I am hurt, or angry, or mad, I can say a lot of hurtful things back, because I fight with words…I am not talking about hurtful words, because as I have just admitted I am a fighter with words…what I am talking about is the following statement:

“If you need anything, I mean anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Now, let’s put this in context.  We know I fell and broke my leg and ankle.  We know I fall a lot.  We know I went to moms to spend the first 3 weeks recovering.  We know most of the really cool stuff people gave me while I was recuperating which was kind of fun; it was like having a house warming party.  AND, a lot of people said that statement above.  More than once.  It is a blanket statement that we tend to say when a tragic event of some sort happens to people and we want to reach out and help.  Partly because it makes us feel better as a human being, partly because we are being honest and sincere and partly out of not knowing what else to do but offer that.  

Ok, I appreciate it.  I really do.  And I say it myself in times of need.  And no one has taken me up on it but I say it anyway.  I genuinely mean it.  If a friend broke their leg and they said can you come and do a couple loads of laundry for me, I would totally do that.  I am not sure that others would.  I joked that I needed my legs shaved.  It wasn’t a joke, I really did…I was half assed kidding when I threw it out there to see what kind of responses I would get, but people said, if you need anything, let me know, I mean anything at all.  WELL?  Perhaps you should be more specific because I do need things done, but I bet no one had in mind the following things I am going to list:

THINGS I NEED:

My legs shaved
Car needs an oil change
I have a brake light out that needs fixed
Bed sheets need changed
Brodie needs a haircut
I have a note at the bank that needs paid

These are all things that a significant other would take care of too, so don’t get me started on that.  So, perhaps you are laughing…perhaps you are wondering why my father doesn’t take care of some of these things (it’s best we just leave it at the fact that it is easier on me if he doesn’t.)  Perhaps you are saying, well, I thought the list would be worse.  But honest to God, if you asked me what I NEED, that is what I need.  Yes…I am fully capable of doing all of these on my own.  Broken leg or not.  BUT when you have a broken leg, it is helpful if someone else were to take care of these things for you.  I just started my 5^th week since the accident.  I am still in a cast, will still be in one for another month.  It takes a lot out of me to get to work and just do my job, which requires minimal effort really.  But right now, that is of paramount importance since I need the money.

The point is that I am not sure we REALLY mean it when we say; do you need anything at all?  I think our hearts are in the right place, but I think we are more thinking like I will bake you some cookies or something.  Or a cake.  Cause that’s what an immobile person needs most is food!  Meals, yes, because in case no one knows this, my father doesn’t cook.  And isn’t going to start anytime soon.  I received all of my meals at moms let us just leave it at that.  And she doesn’t look like she EVER eats…but yeah, I am going to eat whatever you bring me, and I will appreciate all of it, because I think that is incredibly thoughtful, but my ass would appreciate sustenance more than sweets…oh who are we kidding…but anyway.  YES, I am capable of cooking for myself, but I cannot stand for long periods of time and I have to climb stairs to do it…so it’s easier to eat a bowl of cereal. 

So…I guess…what I am trying to say is, if you really, really, really mean it when you say that statement, then kudos to you!  I mean it too.  Even if it meant shaving your legs or rubbing your feet.  That’s just the way I roll.

It reminds me of another statement/question we ask or say to one another ALL THE TIME…you run into someone somewhere and you say, “Hello so and so…how are you doing?”  But yet…keep walking?  If I don’t want to know how you are, I will just say hello…if I really want to know how you are, I will ask and wait for your answer…

Maybe I am just weird this way…