The Best _______ I Ever Had...Fajita Edition

I love fajitas.  Until I met Pollo Fundido (thanks Tina Carr) it was the only thing I ever ordered at a Mexican restaurant.  I do not love all Mexican Restaurants fajitas.  Some are downright bland, tough, and flavorless.  It really is not one of those foods that I love everywhere I eat it.  Some places just suck at making them.  For instance, the fajitas at all of our Mexican restaurants in Galesburg, I do not love.  I love the fajitas at Applebee’s more than I love any of the Mexican restaurants, which is scary. 

If you research it, it really has more Tex-Mex roots than it does as a truly Mexican staple.  As with most things, we Americanized it which I sometimes find ruins things, but in this case, I love them.  It was originally called that to describe the cut of meat (beef) used to create the dish, which was originally skirt steak.  Actually it is quite fascinated to research the fajita on Wikipedia.

I am not here for research.  I simply love them…part of it is because I am able to make it whatever I want.  More onions, more sour cream, more shrimp than beef…I build it.  I just don’t have to make all the stuff with it…it comes out to me and I put it together, there is something quite personal about that. 

Just wanna be...happy

Halloween is finally here.  I never get excited about it until it is over and then I think of all of the cute things I could have been.  However, it would have been totally for me.  No one at work gets dressed up, in fact Sister hates this holiday.  I couldn’t dress up for the Halloween contest at the bar as I was a judge…and the night I could have went to a costume party I was feeling less than sociable.  So, as usual it is pretty much over and I thought of six things I could have been.  I can take or leave it really.  I do not love it like I love St. Patrick’s Day.  That is my favorite holiday, next to Christmas.  I think partially because it was really a big deal when I lived in St. Paul.  I know, two different Saints, but we still celebrated a lot. 

You may or may not be happy to know that I slept…like Thursday night, but I slept.  I woke up in the same position I went to sleep in…those are my favorite kind of sleeps.  That is when you know a person has finally reached exhaustion.  Over the weekend I didn’t sleep worth a crap without the help of some night time aid, which is hardly worth it when you wake up and have to feel more tired than when you went to sleep.

I didn’t have a good weekend to be honest.  However, I went for a much needed drive Saturday and met some friends for lunch…that was nice.  It was a drive that could have turned into a really long drive; I am not sure how it didn’t.  I also got to see my other half, Rhetta for lunch yesterday.  I miss her face.  That too was nice.  But you know when you try to do things to take your mind off of other things and no matter how hard you try or what you do or who you are with or where you go, nothing works?  Yeah, it was one of those weekends.

The bitter rivalry...

Oh, that isn't who is playing in the World Series?  Shut up!

I have been a Cub fan as long as I can remember being alive.  Why?  I have no idea.  I guess I love underdogs and I love being disappointed.  You would think I would handle disappointment better than I do.  Baseball was not big in our family.  It wasn’t like my parents were huge fans.  Either I dreamt that my father took me to a Cubs game or he really did when I was little.  Marion took me to a Cubs game when they were in the playoffs in the 80’s…standing room only and it was the only game they won of the entire series.  I think my friend Michelle’s parents took me to Cubs-Cardinal game in St. Louis also when I was younger.   For the most part I have not attended very many major league baseball games.  Which is fine…but I would rather watch one in person versus on TV.  I just can’t sit there that long and frankly sometimes it can be boring.

Game 6 of the 2011 World Series was hardly boring.

As long as I have been alive the Cardinals and Cubs have been huge rivals.  Probably, because just a few hours and miles separate the two teams, who really knows because let’s be honest, the Cubs have never posed a threat to them, at least not in my lifetime!  Having been a Cub fan my whole life, I have been laughed at.  I have been criticized.  I have been the butt of several jokes.  And it still blows me away because honestly, I do not recall the last time the Chicago Cubs stood in the Cardinals way.  Of anything.  But I guess it makes some people feel better to bash them.  Yes, there is friendly competition.  And then there is not so friendly competition.  And sometimes it is just down right childish. 

I am happy for the Cardinals.  I am happy for the city and for the fans.  Do I wish it was us, of course, but let’s be realistic?  I am happy for Texas.  I want whoever plays the best and fair, to win.  The part I cannot stand is the Cubs are not even involved.  So why are we still talking about them?  We know we don’t ever have to worry about playing baseball in October.  Thank God.  I can’t handle two teams from two different sports playing in the same month.  But seriously why are we still talking about how sad it is to be a Cub fan?  Do you think we don’t know this?  Do you think we aren’t aware?  Do you think we went to sleep and hoped it was a bad dream?  If so, we have been having nightmares for years. 

I am not speaking for all Cub fans, because I would never do such a thing.  I am speaking for myself.  TO ME, A true fan is not hateful or mean spirited.  A true fan should cheer on the team in their division, the team who was good enough to beat out their favorite team.  A true fan just enjoys the spirit of the game.  You are not hurting my feelings when you say; don’t you wish you knew what this feels like?  Because NO, I don’t…last night was terrible.  The back and forth would have put me over an edge I didn’t know existed.  It was intense.  And the game is intense enough without jackwagons still wanting to remind you that your team didn’t make it.  SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!  We didn’t.  Damnit, why didn’t anyone tell me? 

Seriously…let it go.  Turn the page.  Build a bridge.  We are over it; I wish you could be too.  Far too much time is spent antagonizing us and a team who has not even been a threat to you for I don’t even know how long.  So much of your time and energy could be spent enjoying your moment. 

I am all for a friendly rivalry…honestly…competition makes the world go round.  But for now, how bout you worry about beating the TEXAS RANGERS one more time, the only team standing between you and a National title, instead of the team who like the rest of the country, is sitting in their recliners with a bowl of popcorn thinking, DAMN I am glad that isn’t me.  Who needs that kind of stress in October!

Just another Friday morning drive

Dalton: Where the hell ya been?  Me: Took longer in the shower than I should have.  Dalton: I like to get to school early Aunt Tiff.  Me: I know.

How are we today kids? Dalton: Good.  Kolbie: School and not school.  Me: It’s not even fun anymore.  What are we doing this weekend anything fun?  Dalton: I have a party to go to tonight.  My friend who lives in the funeral home in Fairview, well his parents just rent it.  Kolbie:  I want to live in a funeral home.  Me: That would be just wrong.  Kolbie: It would be awesome.  Dalton: He hears noises all the time.  I kept waking up to noises last night.  Kolbie: Our house has lots of noises.  Me: What kind of noises?  Dalton: Oh you know, the cats, Micha, Dad yelling at the TV.  And I kept waking up but falling back to sleep into the same dream.  Me:  What was it about, I love when that happens!  Dalton: I don’t remember.  Kolbie: Probably Selena Gomez.  Dalton (whipping around in the seat) SHUT THE _______ UP.  (No word thank God, just a pause.)  You are so stupid.  Kolbie: I probably wouldn’t bother you if you didn’t bother me.  Dalton: I can’t stand you.  Kolbie: So why don’t you leave me alone then?  Me: Okay next subject.

Dalton: Do you even want to know about the best part of yesterday?  Me: Well of course, but I didn’t ask this morning because yesterday you couldn’t even remember the previous day.  Dalton:  Well, it was the Halloween Dance.  Hey, Aunt Tiff, you know what the best part about being a Cubs fan is?  (Which he is not) Me: No, what.  Dalton: You don’t have to watch baseball in October.  Me: Wow.  Ok.  Dalton: Anyway, the dance was my favorite part of the day.  Me: You had a dance at school?  During the day?  Dalton: NO, last night, geez.  Me: Oh my God you are old enough to go to Junior High dances this makes me sad.  Kolbie: He went to two.  Dalton: I did not you moron!  Me: Dear God, have you been to another dance this year?  Dalton: Yeah.  Me: I am pretty sure that is what your sister is talking about.  Kolbie: Yeah it was but he is too stupid to listen. 

Me: Have a great day at school.  Dalton: Oh sure, I just love getting to school right at 8:00 and not having any time to get ready for my day.  Me: OH MY GOD, I AM SORRY, I DIDN’T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE SHOWER.  Now get out of my car, I love you.  Kolbie: Ugggggghhhh I hate school.

I absolutely love how priceless my mornings have become!  Seriously…I wish I had done this sooner.

Fastest way to get the Federal Marshall...

This past Scenic Drive for reasons I do not know, Maquon had a genuine Potawatomi Indian set up on the square for people to go visit and listen to stories since Maquon is an old Potawatomi Indian Village.   He had a tepee and everything and his set up looked about as real as you could get.  I personally should have went and visited with him, but I didn’t.  I really should have taken Dalton and Kolbie. 

This is our conversation on the way to school that day about this.

Me: Did you guys go up on the square and visit with the Indian this weekend during scenic drive?  Kolbie:  What Indian?  Dalton:  Yeah Aunt Tiff, what the hell you talking about?  Me: They are having a real Potawatomi Indian telling stories about his tribe, during Scenic Drive.  I think it would be fascinating and I should have gone.  Kolbie: I thought all the Indians were dead?  Me: There are lots of Indians still alive and well and living in their tribes.  Dalton: Yeah Kolbie, you just don’t see them because they live in the casino.  Me: Well, not really, yes, they own and operate a lot of casinos.  They don’t live in them.  Kolbie: They still live in tepees?  Me: Uh, no, they have houses.  Did you guys know that the hills behind Papa’s house are considered to be old Indian Burial grounds?  Several people have found Indian Artifacts.  Kolbie: What is an artifact?  Me: Tools and other things the Indians used to live back in their day.  Kolbie: Cool, I want to go dig up Indian bones.  Dalton: Oh Jesus Kolbie, that is the fastest way to get the Federal Marshall on your ass.  You can’t touch Indian stuff.  You certainly can’t dig them up.  Kolbie:  Why not I want to see bones?  Dalton: What part of it is illegal and Federal Marshall on your ass did you not understand.  Do you want to spend the rest of your life in jail?  Kolbie: It’d be better than going to school.  They have cable in jail.  Me: Well, ok, settle down, we are not digging up any Indians or their artifacts and no one is going to jail.

Needless to say no one went to visit the old Indian.  Which is really too bad actually.

All I Want for Christmas is an Air Gun...

A much different ride to school today.  Kolbie came out with a blue wig and some 80’s looking attire.  When I asked if she was dressed for the 80’s she said she didn’t know what that was just that it was “way back day.”  This in turn made me feel really old.  She would have made a great child of the 80’s. 

I knew these conversations were valuable, I just didn’t know they would be a huge part of my Blog…however I think they will be.  Today’s conversation…

Me: I hope that is a wig and not your real hair.  Kolbie: It is.  Me: What are you supposed to be? Kolbie: I don't know, way back.  Me: What were you on career day?  Kolbie: A ghost hunter.  Me: Of course, why not.

Kolbie: Don’t even ask.  School and not school.  Me: Ok, well thank you for making my job easier.  What about you Dalton?  Dalton: Me what?  Me: What was your favorite and least favorite part of your day yesterday?  Dalton: I don’t remember.  Me: Well that is good, than nothing terrible bad happened.  Silence…

Dalton: What do you call that ball that you ask a question and it has a little window with the answer in it?  Me: A magic 8 ball, why do you have a question you need to ask it.  Dalton:  No, I just wondered what it was called.  Kolbie:  I have a Bratz one, but sometimes the question doesn’t match the answer you get.  Like, one of the answers is “go girl.”  Dalton: That’s because it’s not a real one, stupid ones don’t count.  Me (quickly changing the subject): Hope you guys want clothes for Christmas.  Dalton: Uh, no.  Kolbie: I like clothes.  Me: Good, you have everything kids could ever need.  Dalton: No I don’t.  I don’t have a semi-automatic air gun.  Kolbie: Ohhhh, me either.  Me: What the hell is that and what do you do with it.  Dalton: Uh, shoot people.  And it leaves marks like this one. (Showing me a mark on his finger) Me: Why would you want to shoot people?  Dalton: Because it’s fun and Ben and Liz have them.  Ben has two pistols, a semi-automatic, and (more names I will never remember.)  Me:  Guns are not a safe thing for kids to be playing with and if it is an air gun how does it leave marks, doesn’t it just shoot air?  Kolbie: Duh, they have pellets.  Dalton: They don’t hurt they just leave welts, like a paint gun would but not as bad.  Plus if I wear this jacket, it’s like armor.  They actually have armor you can wear too.  Me: Wal-Mart I suppose?  Kolbie: Nope, I haven’t seen them at Wal-Mart don’t waste your time going there.  Me:  Well I am not going to be getting anyone a gun and have that responsibility hanging over my head.  Have a great day at school, Aunt Tiff loves.  Dalton: We are late again.  Me: Uh, really, then why are people just getting off the bus then and we are only late when we take Aunt Dee Dee.  Goodbye now. 

Seriously everyone should drive them to school just once.  

Highs and Lows

I am very fortunate to be able to go to work at the same time my youngest niece and nephew have to go to school, so I can drive them as work is right down the road.  Unless Sister and I are carpooling.  And she drives…because usually we are running late.  Hate that, but it happens.  Plus since she basically runs this place, she doesn’t care as much as I do, about being late that is.  I HATE BEING LATE.  I am not fond of being early either, but I really hate being late.

Anyway…I play a game with children.  Any child, I don’t care who it is.  But usually I do it at dinner.  It was started as a way to make them reflect on their day.  To get them to THINK about what actually happened that day.  I rarely have dinner with my nieces and nephews so the kids that usually got to play this game with me were Ben and Liz or Cam…I think they love it, but what do I know?

I decided today would be the day I would play with Dalton and Kolbie, my brothers children…and we would do it on the way to school/work since that is when we have our bonding time.  Mind you, Kolbie is NOT a morning person…I don’t know if I know of another human being who hates mornings during the school week as much as she does…WOW…hates it and she can be hateful.  And you know me, I am all like well, have to send them off on a positive note and give them something to start their day with.

On Falling Asleep...

How do you fall asleep? 

Are you fortunate enough to lay your head on the pillow and be gone?  If so, I hate you.  I do not have that luxury.  We all know I suffer from insomnia.  On the rare occasion that I go to sleep in a relatively normal fashion, it takes at the very minimum 30 minutes for me to do so.  That is also with a minimum of 6 flips from side to side.  The following are proven facts in my sleeping habits.

• I cannot fall asleep on my back.
• I cannot fall asleep on my stomach.
• I cannot fall asleep with the TV on or by watching TV.
• I cannot fall asleep listening to music.
• I cannot fall asleep by reading a book.  I am an overachiever when I read and simply just keep reading.  Sometimes until I finish the book I may have just started.  I don’t like not knowing how the story ends.
• I will lie awake all night if the person next to me snores.  Literally.  I must fall asleep first and sleep deeply and that rarely happens.
• I MUST have a fan or some other white noise machine.
• I have laid, lain? on the floor at Bed Bath and Beyond to accurately test pillows.  I must have one that contours to my head no matter how I am laying on it.  I paid $70 for this pillow.
• I have to hold a pillow and half wrap my leg around it.  This has been since I was a very little girl.  And I prefer a hospital pillow.  Anytime I have been in the hospital since I was a little girl, I take a pillow home with me.  Even when I had foot surgery.
  

This Ain't My First Rodeo...

Does anyone ever remember when their first rodeo was?  Seriously, you know, when people say, “this ain’t my first rodeo?”  Well, when was their first rodeo?

Now we all know they really are not talking about a REAL rodeo with cowboys and bull riding and musical guests.  But what that person IS referring to is when another person is trying to pull a fast one on you.  Perhaps LYING about something and you know that they are lying, but they weave this intricate story about something you know didn't really happen and they do this little dance around the subject like they are on Dancing with the Stars getting judged. 

My sister uses this saying a lot.  I wish she could remember her first rodeo.  That would be such a fun story.  She for sure says it more than she realizes, but so does her husband, which may be why she overuses it as well.

The thing is, people who try to lie, or fabricate, or manufacture, or whatever tangled story they are attempting to weave, absolutely fascinate me.  How God awful hard must it be to be so compulsive and yet so readily available to create a story that really isn’t true?  And I am not necessarily talking about a lie or something that will hurt someone; I am talking about things like not accepting blame.  I mean, if I do something wrong or I mess up, I will own it.  I know people who will spend as much time as possible trying to figure out if someone else can be the fall guy, or if someone else can accept the responsibility.  I call them “finger pointers.”  I know a lot of them.  I also know a lot of “fence sitters” too…people who are on one side if the situation calls for it, but will be on the other side in a heartbeat if the situation changes. 

Sometimes I feel bad for people who don’t have a stand on something.  You know, “you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything,” is completely truthful.  A backbone I guess you could call it.  I am not saying my position on certain things is correct, but it’s mine, and I will own it, I have no problem admitting it is how I feel.

I definitely enjoy someone who does try to pull a fast one on me.  I love challenges.  Sometimes it just makes me laugh.  Sometimes it makes me angry.  Sometimes I just cock my head, like your dog does when he is trying to figure you out.  I especially love when they do it directly to my face.   These vary from situation to situation…you know, like your kids try to pull fast ones on you and you just have to shake your head and smile, because you know, it’s not your first rodeo.   Or like when you send someone a text asking them to stop at McDonalds but they show up with a box of doughnuts, claiming they didn’t get your text.  So disappointing.  Especially since they always have their phone on them.

Anyway.  I think you know what I am saying.  I am not going to sit here and try to tell you I haven’t fabricated a story or two, mostly to avoid conversation or an argument.  And most usually it is with Sister.  Sorry sister…but the good news is you won’t remember it in a few hours.  I promise I don’t fabricate hurtful things…I mean after all, this isn’t my first rodeo.

Coasters and yards

I used to love roller coasters.  I really did.  The thrill of the climb, followed by the stomach dropping feeling of the fall.  The anxiety of the twists and turns and when it was over, the realization that what just occurred was literally less than 45 seconds of your life and you had to wait a really long time for that 45 seconds.   I loved them until I had back surgery, then I no longer loved them.  Plus I do not have the patience to wait in long lines anymore.  If they could make one that wouldn’t beat the crap out of you when you rode it or that you didn’t have to wait in line for, perhaps I would really consider it.  But I don’t think that is going to happen.

Life is one big roller coaster isn’t it?  Full of ups and downs.  Highs and lows.  You think when you are little or younger that you will never survive some of these things and yet as you get older you somehow always do and then you have new ones.   Getting married brings its own set of roller coasters…as does having children.  Taking care of an elderly loved one.  College, divorce, new job…when are we never on one?  I don’t know many people who have so much consistency in their lives that every day is the same and frankly who would want it that way?  The monotony of it all?  Actually I think some people have to have it like that.  But really every single day is a surprise.  Some are good surprises, others are not so good.  There is no possible way to prepare for any of it.  Some people are really good at letting whatever happens happen and others not so much.  I am in the not so much category.

I didn’t want so much control in my life when I was younger and now for some reason I feel like I do.  Even though to be honest it is easier when you don’t have to have it.  I don’t want to control people, places or things necessarily; I just want more control over my life. 

Brodie, Mama Loves You, Just the Way You Are...

I am going to deviate slightly from my “the best thing” series, only because apparently no one loves chowder or bisque except Melissa and I…that makes it a lonely place.  My soup blog got rave reviews.  I just don’t get it.  Some blogs are very popular, others not so much.  The ones I love writing the most or take the most out of me to write, sometimes get no response and I never know how to take that.  Oh well, I will keep writing…it is what I do and what I love to do.

So I found out yesterday that Brodie has a pretty severe case of Epilespy for a dog his age.  Why not?  I am not sure anything in the past 3 years has been simple.  No, I am not feeling sorry for myself, I feel sorry for him.  Why do I feel sorry for a dog?  Because he is my dog.  Because he is my child.  There was nothing normal about his sister, nor is there about him.  This morning my father said, “Why can’t you just have a normal dog?”  What is normal?  Who defines normal?  I think the “normal” everyone alludes to is the easiest way of life.   No challenges.  Staus quo.  The less trials and tribulations the better.  But don’t those things also make us who we are and define us?  No, I cannot understand why some people have more struggles than others, it is just life.  I just personally know I have a different view of life, because of the world I live in, because of my challenges.   I would never be so egotistical as to say my way  of life was the right way, it’s just how I deal with the cards I have been dealt. 

Some would argue we make our own destiny…some would argue that you have to sit back and let whatever happens, happen...I am not a sit back kind of person but I also used to be a make my own destiny, so it is interesting to find oneself in the middle so to speak. 

My heart breaks for Brodie.  Not because I don’t think he can handle it, but that he wasn’t given the choice.  Would you rather take medicine for the rest of your life Brodie that makes you walk around looking drunk and fall on your face, or do you want take that risk and wing it and hope for the best on no medicine?  He doesn’t get to choose.  I do.  Would he choose taking medicine?  I don’t know.  Am I making the best choice for him or am I making the best choice for me?  I don’t know that either.   I just know that when I think about it, it tears me up…into tiny little pieces.  And think I think about all the other parents of human children forced to make these decisions daily. 

This was troubling me all day and late last night before I went to sleep; my Aunt Michelle sent me a link, which was by far one of the best and hardest things I have ever read.  However, put so much in perspective for me as a parent even if it is of the animal variety.

So for anyone out there who wasn’t blessed with a “normal” life or a “normal child,” I think this link will hit home.  If you are blessed with such riches, cherish that.  Be grateful…hug your children tightly.  The most important thing you can do as a parent for your child is to love them unconditionally…

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/opinion/sunday/notes-from-a-dragon-mom.html?_r=1&src=tp&smid=fb-share

The Best _____ I Have Ever Had...Chowder & Bisque Edition

In continuing with my The Best ________ I Have Ever Had, today I choose to discuss chowder first and then bisque.  Or Chowda…depending on where in the world you are at when you say it. 

I love chowder.  Have not met one I didn’t love.  In case you were unaware, I pretty much love all food. 

Even though chowder and bisques are both cream based, the difference is largely based on how one is made.  In terms of chowder, large chunks of the ingredients are left intact.  Chowder was largely considered a dish of the “lower class” probably why I love it so much.  Chowder is basically the same as stew, but it becomes “chowder” because cream is added.

So, the best chowder I have ever had in my life should not come as I surprise when I tell you it came to me in a bread bowl in downtown Boston.  The Union Oyster House, which initially scared me, because I am not a big fan of oysters unless they are fried, but OMG…by far the best Clam Chowder I have ever eaten.  Not too thick, not too thin, arrives at your table sitting in their fresh made sourdough bread bowls…just the right amount of seasoning, with thick giant pieces of clam and potatoes.  And not the kinds of clams that are full of sand either…delicious luscious not too chewy clams.

Sometimes I think the food you eat can be made better or worse depending on “where” you are eating it.  Location, location, location.   I had some major delish clam chowder on the opposite coast in San Clemente, California…but honest to God, this one hands down won my heart and warmed my soul.

Bisque is a type of soup with a rich, thick, creamy even texture which has been pureed.  Traditionally it includes seafood, wine or cognac and cream, along with spices.  Interestingly it is related to consommé which is another very rich soup made through a very long cooking process that concentrates flavors for a more intense taste.

The entire mixture of ingredients used to make Bisque is pureed, including the seafood shells if it is seafood based.  There are many different types of Bisque that are not seafood including squash, spinach, tomato, etc.

So, the best bisque I have ever had in my life comes to you from the Landmark Café in downtown Galesburg, Illinois.   Lobster bisque that is.  They also have spinach bisque which is amazeballs, but the lobster is by far my favorite.  Very rich, very creamy, almost to the point of decadence…It’s one of those dishes that you almost feel guilty eating but you don’t want it to end.  A cup is not enough, a bowl is almost too much…there is no happy medium. 

So, it is now your turn to share your favorite chowder and bisque…and then we can all drool the rest of the day.

The Best______ I Have Ever Had..."Soup" Edition

My absolute favorite station on TV is the Food Network.  I can watch hours and hours and hours of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives or perhaps Chopped…I mean hours of it.  I so desperately want to travel to some of those places on Triple D to see them in person.  I think that would be so fun. 

They have a show on the network, couldn’t tell you the time or day of the week it was on, and I really don’t think it is on anymore, but it was called “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” and each show would have a different topic.  Like soup, BBQ, steak, fried chicken, etc.  I thought it was a brilliant idea for my blog.  Random times, tell you what the best thing I ever ate…like a little series.

It really struck me today to talk about soup.  Probably because it has suddenly went from having my air conditioner on while driving home to needing soup on my way home.  However, I cannot simply just lump soup into one category.  There are so many kinds.  And I don’t call Chili a soup.  I don’t call Bisque a soup.  I don’t call Chowder a soup…you get the idea, so I want you all to share your favorites with me but I am telling you right now, we are only talking about soup!

There are cream soups, broth soups, cheese soups, you catch my drift?  But a soup is a soup is a soup. 

I pretty much LOVE all kinds of soup.  Vegetable, chicken noodle, wild rice with chicken, French Onion, potato, beer cheese, broccoli cheese, cream of mushroom, you know the list goes on…I really haven’t met a soup I didn’t like.  Even split pea soup.   I am not necessarily a “cold soup” or gazpacho fan; I do like my soup warm/hot.  I once had a Cucumber Soup (cold) on a cruise that was by far the worst thing I ever put in my mouth that they called a soup.  It contained way too much dill. 

The best soup I have ever eaten was hands down my Sisters Cheeseburger Soup.  With hash browns, not potato chunks.  I don’t know exactly why I love it so much but it feels to me like a meal instead of a soup.  The longer it sits warm, the better it is.  I feel like I am getting all of my courses in one bowl and honestly not many soups can do that for me.  It has to be made with Velvetta…not a generic brick brand; specifically because it doesn’t melt…Kraft has pretty much cornered the market on cheese for me.   I have eaten a lot of soup in my day and this is by far my favorite.  That is subject to change. 

So, with that, what is the best soup you have ever had????????  And from where?  This is not to be confused with the best soup you have ever made, okay?

The Great Gum Conundrum

Does anyone else have a problem picking out a pack of gum?  The gum section of any place that sells gum is daunting, overwhelming, sometimes more than I can handle. 

I enjoy chewing gum.  My co-workers do not enjoy it as much as I do, because apparently my dental work makes it easy to “pop” my gum.  I am not blowing bubbles per se, but I can make it pop in my mouth.  I cannot curl my tongue, so obviously I look at this as a fair trade-off.  I shouldn’t say all my co-workers, let’s be honest.  Sister hates it.  I have to be careful with gum as certain kinds stick to my dental work…but luckily most of the gum nowadays is made different. 

I do have a favorite gum.  Mostly for taste and length of life.  It hurts my jaw if I have to chew multiple pieces of gum, like say with gumballs, because they run out of flavor.  My favorite gum type and flavor can certainly change.  I mean I love Freshen Up…with that little burst of flavor…Don’t know the last time I chewed it though.  Or if they even still make it.  My current favorite is 5 React, “a unique mint experience.” Not because of the goofy commercials, but because I love the flavor, reminds me of Teaberry Gum a little bit, and it’s like gray/black and remains that color for the duration of the chew, which I find fascinating.  But truly, one piece can last a whole day…now that is some crazy flavor packed gum.

I am not a fan of cinnamon flavored gum…for whatever reason it burns my tongue.  I am really not a giant cinnamon fan unless it is in a cinnamon roll or perhaps bread.

I.N.S.O.M.N.I.A.

I. Need. Sleep. Or. Maybe. Not. I. Angry.

I hate insomnia…

To be honest I had never experienced it prior to owning the bar…that is when it started and became severe enough to see a Dr. about it.  Of course the only thing that worked in my situation at that time was to eliminate all the stress in my life that was causing me to not be able to shut my brain off.  Right because that is so damn easy?  I promise the people telling you to do that don’t have an easier time doing it either, but they get a paid a lot of $ to tell you so.

Insomnia is caused by a variety of reasons.  Isn’t everything?  Hard to really pinpoint the problem until you sort all of them out.  Not eating right, not getting enough sleep to begin with, stress, exercise, illness…yada yada yada.  How do you know the cause?  Not an easy task for sure.

Since the first major incident I have had it at random times, but would have to say that stress is the primary trigger.  Sometimes more than I realize.  I may not feel as stressed as my body really is, and then I really have no control over the situation.  It tends to occur when I over-think something as well.  It is very, very, very rare for me to fall asleep quickly and from exhaustion.  It takes me forever to fall asleep, even on a normal night…I do a tremendous amount of tossing and turning.  Since Brodie’s seizures started, I do a lot less tossing and turning because he wants to lie immediately next to me.  He doesn’t want cuddled, but he has to be touching me.  So I cannot flop as much as I would like, which makes for a horrible night’s sleep as well.  We have a king size bed…we are using maybe a ¼ of it.

A very interesting bit of information about my sleeping though.  When I would go to my Mom’s to spend the weekend or whatever, I would fall asleep instantly, and sleep a lot.  Almost like, the can’t keep your eyes open kind of sleep…I think I will attribute that to “decompression.”  Things are always so tense at my house…probably because I make it that way and I take some of the responsibility, but honestly after mom left, it didn’t and will never feel like the same home…and rightfully so.  Home truly is where your heart is.  And a house does not make a home.  So interestingly enough when I go to moms to chillax, I really, really do, just that.  I let go and sleep.  Of course this drives her nuts, but she hasn’t grasped that it really is a compliment.  You can let go in the place that you feel safe.

I went to bed at 10PM last night and was wide awake at 12:36AM…until 4AM this morning.  It sucks.  I read, I play on my IPod, I watch TV, but sleep will not come to me.  And then I will feel like crap starting about noon…as I am now terribly behind on sleep.  I am not a put my head on my pillow and wake up in the same position kind of person, I wish I was. 

I think I will get back there someday.  To a safe place where I can lay my head down and sleep peacefully.  I have always been someone that needed a lot of sleep as well.  8-10 hours is pretty good for me.  I do not remember the last time I had that straight and uninterrupted …been over 14 years. 

So to all my fellow insomnia sufferers…lets swap numbers so I can add chatting to my list of things I can do when I can’t sleep.

A mile in someone else's shoes...

What a very big weekend for me. On so many levels. Some valuable lessons learned. It's funny how life does that. Gives them to you when you need them the most.

Two loved ones hospitalized on the same day. My nephew was injured in an incident that could have been far worse but it was bad enough. His quick thinking probably saved a little boys life. For that I am extremely proud of him. You never know how a person will react.

We are an extremely lucky family that is truly blessed and has so much to be thankful for. For the most part we have been fortunate all the way around.

The other thing I learned this weekend and which was probably my biggest lesson by far was to count your blessings. Daily.

I was able to finally meet someone in person whom I actually met back in February. It's been an incredibly long road getting to this point but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I attended a A Walk For Epilepsy to support her and her daughter, who has this disease. I did not attend this alone. Emily, Ash & Ky...I am so grateful you came along. It meant the world to me.

The saying walk in a mile in someone else's shoes has never been more appropriate as it was this weekend. We were unable to actually participate in the walk due to having to get back to town quickly, but I was able to participate in the rally and watch a mommy put everything out there for whoever was lucky enough to attend, to describe her daughters fight in her journey with epilepsy. She will tell you that she may have epilepsy, but it doesn't have her. She's gone through more in her 9 short years on this planet than most kids her age. She's a beautiful little girl whom you would never be able to look at and think something was wrong. Nothing is wrong with her in the sense of the word wrong. God made her that way but more importantly he gave her to her mommy because he knew she would love her unconditionally. And she does.

If you think you have it bad or you are taking life for granted, seriously take a walk. In someone elses shoes. Just try to. I dare you.

Heather, thank you for inviting me to share that moment with you, your family and friends.

I told you all last week about arriving at my destination and not knowing where that next place would be but I wanted a family. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. But I am moving in the right direction.

Thank you God. For all of my blessings. I am a very lucky girl.

MY favorite childhood "one hit wonders"

Sometimes when you are in a bad mood, (like I was when I was writing this) it serves you well to go back to a time when you were not.  Like before you really knew what life was going to have in store for you.  Maybe not back that far, but you understand the concept.

I am going back to the songs that made me happy when I was a little girl…and by little I mean between the ages of 2 and 13.

Back in the days of the 45’s and LP’s.  When music first started to enter my life and inspire me in ways I never knew it would.  In the days when I wanted to play the guitar and be a radio DJ.  I have glimpses of music that my mom and sister loved, but not my brother.  I think by the time he cared about music it was Quiet Riot and The Beastie Boys.

I didn’t want to make a list of my Top 10 and not give you a YouTube link so you can watch them yourselves.  That would be quite cruel.  So here they are.  What passed as a video back in the day or even just standard TV, cracks me up…anyway, here they are, perhaps they will also be some of your favorites!

Interestingly most all of these are one hit wonders…apparently I love one hit wonders.  VH1 loves them too, they have an entire show dedicated to them on their station.

Rhinestone Cowboy-Glen Campbell
I had a small guitar that I would strum along to with this song.  I am positive I played the lines right off of this record.    

http://youtu.be/8kAU3B9Pi_U

Forever In Blue Jeans-Neil Diamond
I thought that it was a viable option and I desperately wanted to live this life, forever in my blue jeans.
http://youtu.be/QQLWF_ItzYs

Shaddap You Face-Joe Dolce
My mother absolutely loved this song, played it constantly and danced around like the little Italian that she was.
http://youtu.be/sFacWGBJ_cs

Disco Duck-Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots
I loved this song, who didn’t.
http://youtu.be/irgJPqkuakM

Blinded by the Light-Manfred Mann
This is a classic.  The controversy alone over what he says is worth its weight in gold.  I don’t know if we will ever truly know what he says…

http://youtu.be/lcWVL4B-4pI

  

Take The Long Way Home-Supertramp
This song is off the first album I ever owned.  It was on a cassette my Grandpa Charles bought me to go with my new cassette player.  There was one year when he bought us all our own Christmas presents and this is what I got.  I will never forget.
http://youtu.be/kamXwSM6Ta0

Don’t Give Up on Us-David Soul
This was the first “love” song I ever heard and of course I was a giant Starsky and Hutch fan so of course I was in love with him. 
http://youtu.be/YY8APrYU2Gs

The Things We Do For Love-10CC
I liked the part about walking in the rain and the snow when there’s nowhere to go…
http://youtu.be/SASnF0S6NpE

Afternoon Delight-Starland Vocal Band
This was one of Sisters favorite songs…I am sure she will never be able to tell us why…
http://youtu.be/SASnF0S6NpE

Send In The Clowns-Judy Collins and Different Drum-The Stone Poneys featuring Linda Ronstadt
These songs will forever remind me of my mother…when she wanted to cry she listened to Send in the Clowns and Different Drum I have no idea why but it makes me think of her…She also was a big fan of Muskrat Love…if that tells you anything.
http://youtu.be/cIqx5_w-dnk
http://youtu.be/s3Nq48sHF8M

Arriving at my destination…

In the shower this morning I was contemplating all of the weight I had gained since I closed Tiffany’s on Main…interesting concept since I was surrounded by food all the time, but I guess when you are you really do not eat as often as people think and you certainly do not eat food that you are cooking all day every day.  I miss that about the bar…the weight it helped me lose.  Obviously my body wanted it back since it found it already.

Anyway, out of nowhere came my own voice telling myself these exact words, well Tiff, if your “destination” is to get back to that weight, you will never arrive at your “destination” by doing nothing about it.  Well yeah duh Tiff, (that’s what I call myself when I talk to myself, Tiff), duh Tiff…think about all the “destinations” you have never gotten to because you have done nothing about it.  Thinking about it doesn’t get you there.  You have to move.  Mentally, emotionally and physically, MOVE.

I am very fortunate to have done and accomplished pretty much everything I have set my heart out to do.  I have said this 1000 times.  I knew when I was a freshman in High School what degree I wanted to pursue, I did it.  What school I was attending.  I did it.  What job I wanted.  I did it.  That I wanted to own my own business.  I did it. That I wanted to work on a cruise ship.  I did it.  Ok not for very long, but I did it.  I arrived at all of the destinations I chose by “moving” to do so.  Not just physically, but all the other elements as well. 

Ok Tiff, that is all fine and well, but what is your next destination?  Is it necessary to constantly have some place to go?  Even figuratively?  I think so and maybe this is my problem.  I am not ok, my soul is NOT ok, sitting around not having a place to go, a person to be.  To each their own, right?  Right.  Not everyone can live like this.  But I do believe it is the source of the large amount of discontent and disconnect I have felt with the world in the past 3 years.

The lawnmower incident...

If you know me, you know I love to mow.  The grass.  The lawn.  The yard.  Whatever you call it.  If I could ride around with my therapist it would be the best therapy session ever.  I know most people hate mowing, but not I.  It’s like an art form.  And interestingly enough the same guy that built my redneck TV stand, also is really partial to how the yard gets mowed.  Each time you have to go a different direction, as it helps the grass stand up straighter…whatever…I just want to get out on that beast on a nice sunny day and jack up my tunes.  I do not however particularly love mowing Sister’s yard because they have a plethora of trees.  I prefer mowing her pasture…I need long stretches, not short bursts.   It is like being interrupted and I hate being interrupted. 

I don’t get to mow often…I am sure Father and Sister would agree to that but by the time I usually am able to do it, they have it done.  Plus Sister has two kids who need to earn their allowance…don’t want to disturb that. 

Part of my “rent” when I lived in Minnesota with Scott and Heidi was to mow the yard.  I had to first get the pooper scooper out and clean the yard up because Scott didn’t like smelly lawnmower tires…so it wasn’t like a get on and go kind of job.  To make matters worse, I was forced to work with less than adequate equipment.  I wish I had a picture of this lawn mower.  I think he had patched it together over the years.  Either way, I did it and didn’t complain.  I got to do what I wanted and he got his yard mowed. 

It looked something like this.

What happens in Vegas...I wish would happen more often

I absolutely love Las Vegas.  One of the few places I have been on this planet where the minute I got there I felt like I could live there.  There are only a few of those places.  But it is not because I am a gambler or “bright lights, big city” girl, oh wait, yeah I am…not the gambler part…I hate gambling…I have only won one time and that was in Wisconsin.  Normally I have about $20 to blow and since that lasts seconds in a casino, I simply never go.

I don’t mind the noise of a casino or having a drink in a casino or even eating in one, but I sure as hell have never been in one gambling for more than an hour max.

I do not entirely know why I love Las Vegas, I just really, really do.  There is no large body of water, unless you count Lake Mead, which is nice, but normally I am a sand and beach girl or pine trees and log cabins.

The very first time I went to Vegas was not a vacation, but an adventure…quite possibly why I loved it so much. 

I do not remember the year but I was managing the Fitness Center in St. Paul, Minnesota when I am pretty sure my friend Rachel asked me to go to Vegas with her and 2 of her other friends that I didn’t know so well, Jen and Heidi.  Heidi worked in the travel department and got a hell of a deal for 4 people, but they needed a 4^th.  I could share a bed with Heidi, whom I barely knew.  Ok, whatever, I am up for an adventure and it was a hell of a deal.  I don’t remember how many nights but it was at the MGM and it included the airfare, through a charter deal or something…

Some people ask why, some ask why not...I still just ask why

Why?  Three really tiny letters.  Such a big word, with so much force behind it.  I would love to know how many times a day I used that word.  According to Sister a lot more than I realized. 

When I was younger my brother and cousin and I used to take bicycles apart.  To pretend we had a bike shop I guess.  Mostly we took them apart and to my knowledge they never got put back together.  In essence I am sure it was to see how the thing worked, but unfortunately I only remember the taking them apart.  Not the putting back together. 

I guess since I was a little girl I have always wanted to know how things worked.  Mostly people though.  I truly missed my calling by not going into psychology or psychiatry, because I absolutely love to know what makes people tick.  Or a criminal profiler.  That stuff fascinates me.  I mean, I have bad days, but what makes a person DO THAT STUFF? 

I don’t know if I was the kind of child who constantly asked why, you would have to ask my mother, I don’t remember being that way, but I don’t remember a lot of things.  I don’t think it got to this degree until I got older, but it definitely does affect pretty much everything I do.  I don’t usually verbalize it though, but if I had to sit down and randomly tell you all of the things I ask why about, here is what you would get. 

Daddy's Little Girl

I saw this on a friends post today and interestingly it applies to a current situation I am somewhat involved with, which was the first thought I had when I saw it. 

If you don’t know my niece Bella, that is too bad, she is pretty special.  And I am not saying that because she is my niece.  She really is.  So is my niece Kolbie.  We are all pretty tight.  The thing is their Fathers need to be feared.  Brother-in-law and Brother are not touchy feely guys in the least, but you mess with their daughters and you will become witness to a creature not commonly witnessed on earth.  Thank God that nothing horrific has happened to either one of them, but I truly pity the fool who tries to hurt them in any way.  I will be very, very, very, very close behind them with my Sammy Sosa bat.  A bat I clearly am anxious to use. 

This picture also brought something else up, something that rather surprised me.  I am not Daddy’s little girl…that would be Sister. 

I do not know how my own father felt about my sister and me when we were growing up as he is also not into overly showing his emotions.  I do know that I basically only had one boyfriend in High School and so did Sister, basically for her whole life, so that part was rather easy for him.  Not having to worry about us running around with a plethora of boys.  Even when I left for college I don’t think he ever “worried” about me and boys or me getting hurt by a boy.  He absolutely loved the only boy I ever brought home from college, which instantly made me not want to be with him anymore (sorry Dan), as well as the obvious reason which would show its face a few years down the road.  But when I saw this today it struck a unique cord.  Unique in that honest to God before today, I never even thought about it. 

Veritas Liberabit Vos

The title means, "truth shall set you free" in Latin.

And the words to the right mean: personal honor and truth in actions and justice, regardless of the circumstances.

I am positive I am not the only one with trust issues, but I think I may have more of a problem with it than most people.   I used to trust everyone and everything…I mean, like I gave everyone and every situation the benefit of the doubt, always.   Then, something changed. 

It starts with a lie.  Usually a little white lie, that had it been shared immediately, probably wouldn’t turn into as big a deal as it does.

I have discussed this with my therapist at great length and yes I have a therapist and yes I used to go regularly, I loved that time.  I currently can’t afford to see her, so I write my blog…but anyway, this topic was discussed A LOT during our sessions.  I couldn’t understand why the people I cared about most, whether it be family, friends, lovers, whatever, could not tell me the truth.  Why they always either completely lied or candy coated things and when I would find out, they would say it was because they didn’t want to hurt me.  If the lie is going to hurt me and the truth is going to hurt me, which one do you think I am going to be able to handle the best?  If you know me at all, you would know that the answer is the truth. 

Between me and God...

I slept about as bad as you can sleep last night.  I have a plethora on my mind and some big decisions that I need to make.  I wish I was one of those people who could lay their head down and be out, but I can't.

This may be the shortest blog in history and I know that I DO NOT have to write one every single day, but something feels wrong if I don't.  Too bad I don't look at exercise the same way...

Regardless, to be honest with all of you, my heart wasn't in it today and that in and of itself is sad.  It's not writers block, there are plenty of topics I want to tackle...I just couldn't muster up the creative energy I needed to write.  Just being honest.  So I will simply just leave you with my favorite quote from Mother Teresa.  Sometimes I need to tell myself this and tell myself this often.  It is not an easy thing to remember.  If it wasn't so long, I would probably have it tattooed on me somewhere as a reminder.  The bottom line is it is...just between God and I.

I am sure you have heard it or seen it, but if not, enjoy:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa

The flip of a switch...

There are certain times in a person’s life, I am speaking on behalf of all of mankind, that someone or something “flips your switch.”  Some split second moment where out of nowhere an emotion is evoked in you that you cannot contain.  Like a lightning bolt, you react.  I know it has happened to all of us, maybe your kid falls down, maybe a comment is made, who knows, there are so many variables to what can cause the flip to switch.  And I don’t mean all spider monkey flip, although I have done that a couple times in my life.  Once it was on an employee who was complaining and once on my sister-in-law.  Me all spider monkey is not a good thing.  Thankfully, it has only happened twice and no one was harmed in the process.

I like to think it is passion that causes this reaction.  I am not talking about a chain reaction; I am talking about a split second, on your feet, moving, instantaneous reaction to something.

Well, I had one today, which is why I am blogging about it.  A lot of people will say, “I got your back,” but how many of us are ever put in a situation where those people are challenged to do so?  You know, show up and have your back?

When I found out that the 10 cop cars at the gas station were there because it was my father who had been attacked, I don’t know that I have ever moved so quickly in my life.  I had taken a muscle relaxer earlier because of my back, so I was in no shape to be moving quickly, but something ignites in you, adrenaline, fire, whatever and you just move. 

So the story itself isn’t really a big deal unless you work here, but if there is one thing I will not stand by and watch it is any human being belittling another human being.   A General Contractor came in today and went all ape on our Project Coordinator.  The G.C. was obviously unaware that our P.C. was dumped this project and is barely treading water to get through it.  Coming in here slamming things and screaming does not solve a problem that was never our P.C.’s to begin with. 

Well, by God, I jumped out of my chair and took off down the hall before sister reigned me back in.  I didn’t care who the hell this guy was or whether he was right or wrong, you do not talk to another human being this way.  It’s how major wars start.  What was I going to do?  Elephant rhino, but I was not going to sit idly by and let a completely innocent human being get attacked.  I honest to God don’t think I would have helped the situation at all, but I was ready if he needed me.  Plus, it doesn’t help that I don’t like cocky arrogant men (or women) and when these two bolted through the door I knew something was amiss when I kindly sad hello and didn’t get a reply back. 

Oh well.  No one was harmed in this process either.  I just wondered if anyone else has had a moment like this…like a switch, you go from perfectly fine in your desk chair to, not so perfectly fine in a heartbeat.  What caused it?

Make me laugh...

There was a time in my life when I was really a funny, clever, witty, charismatic person.  I suppose some people would say I still was, but it is nowhere near like it used to be.  I miss her; she is quite funny and quite fun to be around.  I feel like I have been such a work in progress for so long that I actually forgot what I was working towards.  I just want to be that light-hearted carefree young woman again.  Maybe I just need to start living off the grid and doing things so polar opposite of what is expected of me.

I would have to say that one of the funniest people I know is my Uncle Brad.  He is very funny.  You can’t be around him without laughing.  I want to be that funny every single day.  I don’t know how he does it.

So I have come up with a list of things that I wish I could do to get my “groove back.”  Ya know, random, off the wall, completely insane stuff that would probably make me pee my pants if I had the guts to do it.

For instance, Sea World has a seafood restaurant.  That bothers me a little bit.  But wouldn’t it be funny to eat there and half way through your meal ask for the manager and demand they somehow prove to you that in no way, shape or form, are you eating  a “slow learner?” 

During the summer, wouldn’t it be great to see how many Country Club pools you could get into by putting some sun block on your nose, a whistle around your neck and wearing some red shorts?  Yes sir, I am here for my shift.  And then just walk around and see how the rich people live?

Or how about putting on some Khaki’s and a red polo and just walk around Target for hours to see how many people ask me for help.