On Falling Asleep...

How do you fall asleep? 

Are you fortunate enough to lay your head on the pillow and be gone?  If so, I hate you.  I do not have that luxury.  We all know I suffer from insomnia.  On the rare occasion that I go to sleep in a relatively normal fashion, it takes at the very minimum 30 minutes for me to do so.  That is also with a minimum of 6 flips from side to side.  The following are proven facts in my sleeping habits.

• I cannot fall asleep on my back.
• I cannot fall asleep on my stomach.
• I cannot fall asleep with the TV on or by watching TV.
• I cannot fall asleep listening to music.
• I cannot fall asleep by reading a book.  I am an overachiever when I read and simply just keep reading.  Sometimes until I finish the book I may have just started.  I don’t like not knowing how the story ends.
• I will lie awake all night if the person next to me snores.  Literally.  I must fall asleep first and sleep deeply and that rarely happens.
• I MUST have a fan or some other white noise machine.
• I have laid, lain? on the floor at Bed Bath and Beyond to accurately test pillows.  I must have one that contours to my head no matter how I am laying on it.  I paid $70 for this pillow.
• I have to hold a pillow and half wrap my leg around it.  This has been since I was a very little girl.  And I prefer a hospital pillow.  Anytime I have been in the hospital since I was a little girl, I take a pillow home with me.  Even when I had foot surgery.
  
• I used to take my pillows when traveling, but I left one in a hotel room once and I will never do it again.  It does not matter if it was a stolen hospital pillow…SOOOOOOOOOO, when I travel, I generally sleep like crap because I have to use their pillows and they are never as nice as mine. 
• My room on the cruise was actually under the water, which was a very unique sound, but very soothing after the first night.  However, both roommates snored like freight trains and were literally 4 ft. from me while sleeping…so I didn't sleep for 2 weeks.
• I have a king sized bed and I sleep on one side of it.  But when I am in a bed smaller than that, I don’t have enough room…
• I love to cuddle.  Huge cuddler, but the minute I want to attempt to sleep, I have to have my space because you see there will be a plethora of flipping going on. 
• If you are also a flipper, do you ever achieve euphoria when you find that one spot where everything aligns like it should and your body feels like it couldn't be in a more perfect position?  I do rarely, but it sure is fun when it happens.
• I love the flip side of my pillow and the cold side of the bed. 
• I am horribly OCD about my sheets.  Horribly. They have to come up under my chin just right.  They have to be tucked in so I feel like I am in a cocoon.  I can’t have my feet dangling out of them.  I will flip them over so that one leg can hang out and get cold, but they have to be flipped just right so that when I want them back on my leg it can be done in one swift motion.  If I roll over I cannot be tangled up in my sheets hence keeping things tight so that when you do flip, everything stays where it is supposed to.  I also do this for the other person, if there is another person.  Sorry other person. 

I think we have figured out why I suffer from insomnia…I have too many rules in bed.  LOL, that sounded funny.  But it is true.  Maybe I should just crawl in and shut my eyes?