Someday I Will...

Someday I will…Someday I will…Someday I will…Someday I will write a book that thousands of people will read.  I have no idea what it will be about.   But I want to write it.  I would love to write a book titled “Shit My Sister Says…” but we kind of have an agreement that I am not to mention her in writing.  I wrote a Blog once (the whole Blog concept was her idea) that I had to delete (only post I have ever deleted) because I offended her by stating that she wasn’t a very nice Sister when we were little.  For the love.  Siblings are not nice to each other.  This was not exclusive just in our household.  She doesn’t remember any of it so obviously it didn’t happen.  This is bogus, because she doesn’t remember driving to work the other day either, but she was there, at work, so she needs to discard that argument because, well, she doesn’t have a “stump” leg to stand on with that excuse.  Anyway…she did say if this book I wrote about her being such a rotten Sister when were little made me a million dollar best seller, she could find a way to suck up her pride and deal with it.  That’s mighty wide of her.  The problem is she won’t remember telling me that and it could ruin our relationship, so whatever.  I blame the stroke.  It has taken us about 40 years to establish that we have an awesome relationship as long as we do not discuss certain things.  Our parent’s divorce (we are somewhat divided and it’s painful for us both in very different ways,) her marriage (I’ve never been married, so it’s stupid to attempt to dispense advice,) raising her children (I have never raised my own but I am highly opinionated about it, and having never created a child nor raised one, I should probably just shut up about it,) and lastly my lifestyle (not a don’t ask don’t tell situation necessarily, but she thinks I am just confused and will someday wake up.)  If the truth be known we are both equally jealous of one another.  I am because she has a home, a spouse, wonderfully flawed children, etc.  and she is of me because I have the freedom to fly away at a moment’s notice…to me it works.  Our differences.

This post is not about us though.  At all.  Sorry I got carried away.  This post is about my Question of the Day yesterday.  I asked peeps to fill in the blank, Someday I will______________.  And I got some pretty great answers.  Shelly will someday believe in herself.  Heidi (personal favorite) will someday be able to see all her friends get married.  Amy Jo and Karen want to provide shelter for unwanted and discarded animals.  Lois will someday travel outside of Illinois.  Amanda will someday be a mom.  Geri will someday give herself a little credit.  And so on…they were really great answers and I loved reading them all and I love that people are participating and giving me ideas. 

I don’t want to call Geri out or anything but I guess I just did.  The post was entirely her idea and she deserves the credit for it.  I was THRILLED for ideas…THRILLED.  And her response is probably the one that struck the biggest cord with me.  Her answer, among a couple other things, was to someday give herself a little credit.  The reason it struck a cord was because I personally, never can give myself any.  It’s nice to know I am not alone.  But if we got into a screaming match over it, we would both be saying to the other, “are you nuts, you are awesome!”  And sometimes, for a minute, that is enough, just to have someone else tell you that you are awesome.  Your friends, your kids, your family.  Whoever, whenever.  Just a little nudge can help most of us keep chugging along.  But the problem is not always that we don’t have enough people telling us that, the problem is, that we don’t feel it when people are NOT telling us that.  I cannot speak for Geri, and I won’t, but it would be nice to give myself credit without someone having to do it for me.  It would be nice to wake up one day and think, “Tiff, you are enough, just the way you are.  And you really are a great person.” And truly believe that.

This was a great night, with great peeps, at a great bar!  REMEMBER GERI?

I don’t know why Geri doesn’t give herself enough credit.  It’s personal for all of us.  But I do know that I think Geri is one the “best” people I have ever met.  She’s a great mom.  A great friend.  The thing that makes her so great is her empathy.  She genuinely gives a shit about what you are saying to her, no matter how lame it may be.  You can tell she is interested in what you are saying.  That is a quality few people have.  Geri is the kind of person who would actually stop and really mean it when she says “how are you?”  She really wants to know and you can feel that.  SOOOO Geri…I know that I am not able to give you that gift of being able to give yourself credit, but I am capable of telling you that you ARE a wonderful human being.  I adore you.  I know so many others do too.  If I could give you one thing it would be that, the ability to see yourself as others do.  AND, the ability to let go a little bit.  Have some fun for YOU.  There is truth to the phrase “if momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.”  Take care of you and the rest will fall in to place…you will give yourself more credit.  It’s ok to do something just for yourself instead of the school, the kids, the husband…ya know, like meet Tiff and Sister for drinks sometime and LAUGH…

So…now that I am sure I have thoroughly embarrassed her, I can end my post.  But seriously…someday I will make sure people who don’t give themselves enough credit, at least think about doing it.  Including myself.