To tell or not to tell...

What kind of relationship (or what level of friendship) do you have to have with someone to tell them that their spouse or significant other is cheating? Or do you simply mind your own business?

That was today’s Question of the Day…I thought it would be tough and that people would actually not answer, but a lot of people did.  And the majority of them said “mind your own business.”

For what it’s worth, consider this your first and last warning.  Do not, ever, ever, ever, ask me how I feel about something or someone.  Unless you want me to speak honestly.  In the case above I would never tell anyone that someone was cheating without having 100% proof…and since that is usually about 80% not likely, I would probably never tell anyone anything.  But don’t ask me my feelings about something and then get pissed when I tell you how I feel, especially if it speaks unfavorably about the person or thing you are asking me.  Asking me “how I feel” opens a vortex of things for me and you should all know that by now. 

I have told someone that someone was cheating…and this person was a friend, not a best friend or even a friend I spoke to often, but I cared about them.  I really care about everyone I call friend.  I don’t care how much we talk.  But anyway, the person I told did not get mad at me, but their friends did.  Like deeply, horribly, mortified that I could ever, ever attempt to mess with someone’s life that way.  For the record I did have proof, and the person who was doing the cheating was pond scum.  I didn’t want any of the people who were getting hurt to get hurt, and I would have never went up to this person and said oh by the way, your sig. other is stepping out on you.  This person point blank asked me if I thought they were and how I felt about them and I point blank told them.  It almost cost me a ton of friends, who I quickly realized weren’t really friends in the first place.  And I remember clearly Sister calling me every name in the book for NOT minding my own business.  Ummmmm yeah, newsflash, it becomes my business when the very person involved asks you point blank and one thing I am not is a liar…so back to where this started.  DON’T ASK ME.

I don’t get cheating, so this is really not a good topic for me.  I mean I genuinely don’t understand it.  Cannot wrap my hands around it.  Why be in a committed relationship if that’s something you feel so inclined to do.  And I know people who have been…cheated on…and continue to remain with the person…that isn’t anything I can change or control.  I was cheated on and it was devastating…not once but several times…which I am not entirely sure what that says about me, except that I basically no longer trust a single soul.  But anyway, I don’t understand the concept of it, but I guess that is a different blog.

One thing I am really not into is spreading rumors…if I want to know someone something, I just simply ask.  They have the choice whether they answer or not…