Is it possible to be “just friends” with someone you are “in
love” with? That is today’s Question of
the Day on FB, and interestingly is not getting a ton of responses.
I can confidently tell you that there are very few feelings
that are quite as brutal as unrequited love.
Here let wiki define it for you:
Urban Dictionary has a much better definition of it though
and it is probably closer to the truth. “Only
the most painful thing a young adult can go through up to and including
shitting out a lego.” My argument to
that statement would be it doesn't matter what age a person is, you can
experience this gut wrenching phenomenon at any age. Most of my friends are married with children,
and have been for the duration of our friendship, so they have no clue what I
am speaking of and kudos to them. But it
is slightly akin to a root canal without the numbing shot. You feel like someone punched you in the
gut. You feel like you can’t
breathe. You are confident that your
heart is cracking and you actually experience physical pain in your chest. Tears form from some cavernous place you didn't know you even possessed. You get the
idea.
Here is my answer to that question…
Yes it is possible to be just friends with someone you are
in love with. If you don’t mind beating
the shit out of yourself. Is it
healthy? No…because you cannot make
someone be in love with you, you just can’t.
I have been on both ends of this and I will say it’s a lot worse to be
the one “in love” than the one who cannot love that way back…regardless it
stinks. It hurts. I don’t care who you are or what you
say. It hurts. If you can accomplish this and you don’t mind
hurting, then good for you, but it still hurts.
I honestly think it depends on the persons involved. Some people would rather have something over
nothing. Kind of like that stupid phrase
“tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Bullshit.
Not always it isn't. Time
eventually heals that, but I promise no person ever in history who just lost
someone says, oh well, at least I had them for awhile. Later they may say that, but not
immediately.
Anyway, this was my personal opinion. Yes it is.
It happens every single day. And
it’s a very unhealthy thing for the person who is in love but I think it’s
something they have to decide if they can handle or not. If you are in love with someone and they are
not with you or do not want that back, why would you want to continue feeling
this way about someone who doesn't and never will? It’s simple.
Torture. We love to torture
ourselves. We love pain. We love fighting through shit. Human emotions being one of the top things we
love to battle. Some of us enjoy it more
than others. This is all assuming that
the person you are in love with KNOWS how you feel. You have to be on a level playing field. If you express your feelings and they say,
ok, I am flattered but I don’t feel that way back, then you know where you
stand and you can decide if you want to remain friends or if space is better
for you. How can you possibly make a
decision if only one of you knows what the other one feels? If you can’t tell them because you think it
will ruin “the friendship” you have then are you really that good of friends to
begin with?
I want to marry, fall in love, be with, and grow old with,
my best friend. That means at some point
we both said and agreed that we were in love with one another. Now, this bit me in the ass once, because it
was said and I meant it but she didn't and then what do you do? Well you die a little inside and you feel
like you are breathing under water and then before you know it, one day, you
just won’t think about it anymore.
I guess the bottom line is if you are not honest with your feelings
towards someone how can you know? I
personally would rather a person know and be honest with me about NOT wanting
that back, then never knowing?
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