He has special needs...

Lots of people write blogs for lots of reasons.  You can find blogs full of recipes, blogs full of do it yourself projects, blogs full of artsy fartsy projects to do with your kids…health, fitness, nutrition, exercise, etc., the list goes on and on and on and on.  Just like a website, you can find a blog that will tell you about anything and everything.  Most people “Blog” about what they know.  Or what they are good at, for instance parenting.

I am good at writing.  I love to cook, but it is a personal passion, I don’t know that I would actually share recipes because I do not use recipes when I cook, I go by taste.  I used to be able to spout my words of wisdom to you about diet and exercise.  I could give you some pointers on owning your own bar/restaurant…working on a cruise ship…managing fitness centers.  You get the idea.  My blog is an amalgamation of stuff that I feel, experience, see, etc.  I suppose it is a diary of sorts, but mostly, it’s just a place for me to put all the stuff that goes on in my head.

You won’t find many of my blogs about parenting, uh, since I do not have children of my own.  However, I do have a child, he just happens to be an animal.  And I implore anyone to convince me otherwise.  Try to convince me that he is NOT my child.  No I didn’t create him, or give birth to him.  But I chose him.  From 12 weeks on I have cared for him.  Am I his biological mother?   NO!  But I am the only “mother” he knows.  Just ask Brodie, my son. 

I should probably give you a small back story about Brodie’s sister, Bailey.  I had another Maltese prior to Brodie.  Bailey was a special needs dog.  I didn’t know for her first couple years of life, but she had a collapsed trachea.  This is common in small breeds, a total genetic deformity.  She was BORN THIS WAY.  The older she got, the more difficult this became for her to deal with.  I couldn’t take her in the car anywhere, to other people’s houses, have company over, or do anything that would overly excite her.   This was not an easy task.  I had her in and out of emergency rooms so many times it wasn’t funny.  She had to get oxygen, meds that would make her lose control of her bodily functions, it was gut wrenching to watch.  Eventually, and at the worst possible time of my life, I had to put her down.  I could not afford to have the surgery “that may or may not fix the problem.”   I don’t think I had ever had to make a harder decision in my life.  I did choose to have her cremated and she can go with me wherever I may end up.

There are many times that I have questioned why I decided to get Brodie.  I know there was an empty space in my heart where Bailey used to be…a void that was not being filled with life in general.  I knew I wanted another Maltese and I knew I wanted a boy as by nature they have less anxiety.  I knew I was going to get him from a totally different breeder, from a completely different state.  These are not cheap dogs, $650…so it was truly an investment.  I had to save for several months to get him.  I knew it would require me spending a lot of time at home and I was trying to run a bar at the same time.  But I also was the most lonely I had ever been in my life. 

I found Brodie in Minook and drove over to see him when he was about 6 weeks old.  Just to make sure that “we” had a connection.  Of course we did.

I thought very early on that Brodie was different.  And why not…why would I get your “average” dog?  These things made me laugh though.  He would line his toys up, in a row, like a train.  I would wake up in the morning and all of his toys would be lined up.  He ate his food and still does to this day, from the front of the bowl and then the back.  Literally creating a line.  It was interesting at best.  He did other random things that made me think that he was autistic.  I didn’t know much about what that meant for a dog and I half laughed it off, because it was kind of funny.  I know there is nothing funny about autism.  I didn’t know what this meant for Brodie, but I felt “we would be ok” and it didn’t matter because I would love him no less.  If Brodie was special and had special needs, I felt honored to be his mommy.  I mean after all, I picked him.  He didn’t pick me.

Brodie is so different from his sister.  So mild mannered, LOVES to ride in the car, has never had to be on a leash or tie-out, (he rarely strays far from his mommy), really just has an entirely different personality all together.  He physically happens to be a carbon copy of his sister as far as appearance, but that is where the similarities end.

Skip forward to Wednesday of last week.  Long story short, Brodie had an “episode” for lack of a better word.  My initial thought was low blood sugar or he was having a stroke.  He acted drunk and his eyes did funny things.  He completely couldn’t move his back legs and drug himself across the floor.  I called sister in a complete panic, but she was busy preparing for her meeting with the Lord (Ministry Team Meeting) so Bella arrived first.  He was perfectly fine when they showed up.  I looked like an idiot.  Until it happened again.  This time, the same thing happened as before, only his body contorted in horrible ways that looked painfully uncomfortable.  If panic was what I felt the first time, this was something else entirely. 

Of course there are no after-hours vet clinics open within a 30 mile radius of me.  Brodie’s vet has her own mobile business.  Regardless, he needed to be seen immediately and there is nothing immediate about a 30 mile trip.  My heart was sinking.  He would completely recover from the episode and act perfectly normal.  Then it happened again…this time worse than the first two.

I got him to the Tri-County Emergency Clinic in Peoria, but not before he had two more episodes on the way over.  The ride over was the longest drive of my life.  After testing and getting checked out by one of the nicest vets I have ever met, I learned that Brodie has epilepsy.  He was BORN THIS WAY. For $3000 more I could get a cat scan to prove it, but he had 6 total (cluster) seizures.  Not something any mother of any creature wants to hear or see.  It was recommended that we start him immediately on meds and have some emergency meds in case he has a seizure he can’t come out of. 

Honest to God I was speechless.  Will I love him any less?  Hell no.  Probably more.  Why had I managed to pick out another animal with special needs?  Only God knows, but again I was grateful because God gave me him.  It took me a day or two, oh who am I kidding it took me about a week to sort this out in my head.

 

I know, he is JUST a dog, but he is My dog.  My child.  My son.  Who will forever need medicine to live a somewhat normal life.  I won’t know when a seizure will happen or where or what will trigger them.  It could be days, months, or weeks before I see another one.

I don’t have the answer as to why and I certainly am not posing the question “why me.”  I know that answer…because as silly and as ridiculous as it may sound because he is just a dog, I feel the same way my Aunt Michelle felt about Molly.  I found Brodie because God knew I would love him more in however short his life may be, than some animals ever get to feel in a lifetime.