Hoarding your sweets

I like cookies.  Various kinds, as long as they are soft and chewy.  If they are chocolate chip, easy on the chips.  I like brownies.  The outside pieces, preferably with powdered sugar, not frosting.  I like cake.  Yellow cake with milk chocolate frosting is my favorite and I have to have the inside piece.  I like Peach Crisp, Peach Pie, Crème Brulee, Bananas Foster, Cheesecake, Boston Cream Pie, anything lemon filled, and once a year, I really, really, really love my sisters pumpkin cookies.  I do not like much of pumpkin anything, but these cookies are the bomb.  Really, the list goes on.  I will try anything once.  With all of that being said though, I do not have a giant sweet tooth like some people.  I would rather eat my meal than dessert any day. 

Where am I going with this?  Well…I will get there.  I am all about sharing too.  I mean if I make something and I am constantly talking about it, I will bring it to work and let people try it.  Why toot my horn if no one can see for themselves that I am telling the truth? 

This requires more of a story than I am going to give you, but let me just say that my employer talks a lot about how good her sisters desserts are.  Amazing…you can’t believe it.  They are off the hook delicious.  Well, how would we ever know, you have never brought anything in for us to try?

Until today.

Today she shows up with a container of apple crisp (apparently better warm and with ice cream.)  A container of lemon bars.  And 3 giant, I mean giant muffins, flavor origin unknown.  She shows us all them and proceeds to leave them all there for us to look at.

I take it upon myself to move them behind our desks so that the plant manager doesn’t think he can put his dirty paws in them, because he never brings anything to share and I am of the philosophy, share and share alike.

Pretty soon, the employer comes out and gets them and takes them to the kitchen.  Okay, NBD (no big deal) right?  It wasn’t until we were all brought back a plate with each dessert on it, to sample.

There is enough dessert for a small group party and we were given this giant plate with little samples.  I put my fork on the plate so you could see how little the samples were.  So.  Apparently we were not to each have a real human sized portion of the desserts, but rather a bite.  Who knew?  Ok, if you don’t want to share, why the hell bring it in in the first place.  Why not bring one muffin and cut into four equal parts? 

This is the same person who brought in a bag of mini peanut butter cups and gave each of us two of them.  You all know that two mini’s don’t even make a half a peanut butter cup, so I really just wanted to pelt her with them. 

NONE of this, I mean NONE of this would bother me, if this very person had not taken it upon herself to eat all of the candy off sisters desk last week when she was gone AND, (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) took it upon herself to eat the remaining half of my sisters candy bar that was sitting on my sisters personal desk.  A damn fund raising candy bar no less.  WHO DOES THAT?  Who eats half of an eaten candy bar on someone else’s desk?  Beyond abnormal behavior, I know.

I have no say in how this office is run, but I know one thing.  I am sharing nothing.  The pumpkin cookies my sister made me and brought to work?  I will shove them all down my throat and make myself sick before I share a crumb with that sweets hoarder.