Refrigerate After Opening

It is never a good idea to call oneself out on something, but I was challenged to 7 straight days of happy or funny or anything but sad and depressing.  If you watch Sunday football you know yesterday was not a good day for me.  So I took a nap, and opted to not write at all.  If you can’t say anything nice, say nothing…a lesson I am learning the hard way, cause, uh, I am pretty outspoken.

I will make this short and sweet. 

I am not blonde, never have been.  Don’t necessarily believe in the whole stereotype either, but once in a blue moon, I have a “blonde moment.” 

I do not remember how old I was, I want to say my freshman year of college…cannot honestly recall.  Too old to know better, that is for sure.  But I had been grocery shopping with my parents.  I don’t even know why that either.  But when we returned home, I took a bunch of stuff downstairs and proceeded to open everything, close it and put it in the fridge.  You read that correctly.  All of the things I wanted cold, like 2 liters of pop, Miracle Whip, who knows what else.  Mother comes down and asks me what in the hell I am doing?  I said I am putting stuff in the fridge.  Why are you opening everything first?  I very clearly state to her as if she is the dumb one that the labels state to refrigerate after opening.

Honest to God she starts laughing so hard I think she is going to pee her pants.  She is laughing to the point of almost being in fetal position.  She screams for my father to come down.  I am still clueless.  Literally. 

He joins us and she proceeds to tell him what I am doing.  He laughs and says, and this is the one who is going to college? 

So I took it literally.  No one told me you could refrigerate BEFORE opening, it simply said after.  And there were things I wanted cold, so naturally I opened them first.  I now know that I can put things in the fridge before opening. 

Surely each and every one of you has had this happen to you at some point.  A literal reaction to something… 

For instance, my niece Isabella helped me in the kitchen at the bar from the moment I opened.  She was awesome in there.  We needed onions sliced, so I told her to avoid them burning her eyes, to cut them under water.  I said exactly that.  She looked at me as serious as the day I opened all my containers to refrigerate, and said, how am I supposed to breathe? 

Sorry Belle…I didn’t want to be the only one…