The Lost Art of Hugging

I am having trouble with this Blog today because what I really want to write about I haven’t quite figured out how to put into words...so, I will simply wait until the words come for that and write about Hugs.  And why I love them. 

Research shows, you will have to get one for yourself, that I give pretty awesome hugs.   Ask Cousin Rhetta.  I have always been a hugger.  I liked being hugged when I was little; I still enjoy being hugged as a big person.  I think they are amazing.  However, I am a touchy, feely person by nature, so naturally hugs are important to me.

Now, let me make some things clear.

I will hug a perfect stranger, when the situation calls for it.  When does that call for it?  Well, these are things you just know.  I would not go to an interview and hug the person interviewing me.  I would not go grocery shopping and hug the meat counter man.  I don’t hug my Dr., or Chiropractor, or Stylist, etc.  I mean that is silly!

I hugged the people I met (passengers) on the Cruise Ship.  Not the minute I met them, but the day or two before they were de-boarding.  I will hug someone that knows my parents, family, etc.  I will hug the person who sells me the winning lottery ticket…once I buy it.  A lot of people would come into the bar that I had never met and of course, would end up loving me before they left and they would get a hug.  I would probably hug the guy or gal, that saves me a bunch of money on my car insurance...hopefully you get the idea.

When I am talking to someone and I feel like their personal space is not an issue, (body language tells you this,) I usually touch them.  Not intimately, but their hand or shoulder or whatever…it connects me with that person.  And usually that is a good sign if I do that.  I instantly feel some connection with you.  If I don’t get in your space to communicate, probably means we will have a very short relationship.

Sometimes you hug people because you get good news, sometimes because you get bad news.  You can give and receive a hug for a variety of reasons.  I prefer the happy ones, like oh my gosh, it is so good to see you again hugs, or the I love you before you walk out the door to work hugs, but you know that isn’t always feasible.  But a hug is a really, really big deal to me.  I know there are people who cannot stand to be touched.  I feel sorry for you.

If you are going to hug me, for the love of God and all that is holy, DO NOT PAT when you hug me.  Hug and squeeze or hug and rub, but never, ever, ever, hug and pat.  “The Patter.”  Ever.  I will cease the hugging immediately.  Never ever hug me if you squeeze like you may break me…the “Dainty Hug.”  Don’t even touch me if you are going to do that.  Don’t bother either if you are a “One Arm” Hugger.  Waste of time.  Mine and yours.  Do not hug me if you hug with both arms below my arms or both of them over my shoulders.  “The One Level Only” Hugger.  We are not at a grade school dance.  “The Bear Hug”, not for me either.  I have titanium in my back.  Those hugs actually hurt and I am not fond of being picked up off the ground unless it is the other way around and you are trying to pop my back for me.

I very rarely, ever hug my family and I will tell you why.  Dad, I can’t properly hug because of his height and girth.  Mom, hugs like she is a bird that could be broken and it is possible at 96 pounds.  Sister is a Dainty, Patter.  Two broken rules in one hug, total yuck.  Brother is a One Arm Patter.  Again, two broken rules.  Bella hugs like her mother, although in the hug pictured above, she did it right.  This was the night I closed my bar for good.  I think you can see a tear.  I don’t remember the last time I hugged Ethan, but I think he is the best out of everyone.  Dalton is a Dainty hugger and Kolbie, my little Scooby, does the Bear Hug.  However, she will give me the hands around my waist hug (because she can’t get any higher) and lay her head on my belly, hug.  Those I love.  Few and far between though.

I love, and it is an art…the one arm up, one arm down, proper pressure on the squeeze, a small rub of the back hug.  Those are my favorite.  I have met a couple people that I had to teach, but they learned well.  Mostly though, I believe the art of hugging is a lost one at best. 

You shouldn’t have to ask for a hug, but sometimes during certain situations, you may need to and that is okay.  The right people will know when you need one, if in fact you are around people at all.

You can rest assured however, if I ask for one, I really need one.  So thank you to all my FB friends that cyber sent me one today…I really, really needed it.