Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pick you up on the way to the end of the world...


Do you know where you are going when the end of the world comes?  Do you have a plan?  Are you a “prepper?”  You know, one of those people that do have a plan?  Well the good news is I am getting picked up, that is all I can say.

My work schedule changed, so I was no longer able to take the kids to school…but it’s slow at work now, so I decided to come in a little later and hence, I can take them…after all school is almost out.  The drive went something like this.

Me-GOOD MORNING DALTON!  Did you miss Aunt Tiff?
Dalton-Yeah
Me-No you didn’t
Dalton-Yes, YES I did.
Me-Where is your sister? Is she being a biotch?
Dalton-She’s coming and always.
Me-How many more days of school?
Dalton-mumbling something about last day, and how he is not going because he can’t put off the trip to  Minnesota
Me-With Dad?  Boys fishing trip?
Dalton-And hopefully Nick and Chase
Me to Kolbie-GOOD MORNING SCOOBY!  Wahooo car pooling with Aunt Tiff again! How are you?
Kolbie-hmmmmph, fine
Me-I wish I could go on a fishing trip and catch some big walleye and eat them right then and there, but there is probably no girls allowed.
Dalton-Kolbie
Me-Kolbie is going?
Dalton-No she is a girl and she is not allowed.
Kolbie-Shut up Dalton
Dalton-You shut up
Me-Kolbie are you ready for school to be out?
Kolbie-yes I hate school
Me-Can you believe Bella is graduating?  I cannot believe it.  Your brother will be soon too!
Kolbie-I wish I was, everyone in my class is mean, they are jerks
Me-Have you ever seen Step Brothers?
D/K-Yeah
Me-Just call them boats and hoes
D/K-Giggles K-I love that show!
Me-well you probably should not call them that at school, but you can sing it in your head
Kolbie-I know every single line in that movie!
Me-IT’S THE FREAKING CATALINA WINE MIXER!
Me-So…did you see the Bald Eagle in Papa’s field yesterday?  It was so pretty and I would imagine if I got up close to one I would probably crap my pants because they are so cool and so big. 
Giggles…
Me to Dalton-So how is your prepping going?
Dalton-Prepping?
Me-end of the world, zombie apocalypse…
Dalton-I honestly haven’t thought about it much and there really is no way to prepare for all the different kinds.
Me-like nuclear versus chemical or viral
Dalton-yeah and not all zombies act the same
Me-I don’t care how they act, I want to know who is going to come get me, I mean where are we going, do we have a plan?
Kolbie-It’s called a car and someone will drive to get you, probably me.
Dalton-NO Kolbie it will not be you, we cannot have people driving cars who can’t keep their heads together
Kolbie-Shut up I can too, I will just run them over
Dalton-no, you will not be driving, anything, there will be plenty of other people who can handle the job
Me-STOP, I just want to know what the hell I am supposed to do?  Who is in charge of me?
Dalton-long pause, drawing pictures in the air, thinking…
Dalton-We will swing by and get you, it’s on the way
Me-On the way to where?
Kolbie-The bunker duh
Me-We have a bunker and I don’t know about it?
Dalton-you know not all zombies eat people, some are harmless
Me-I am pretty sure I am not going to take the time to figure it out
Me-Like I imagine it to be just like The Walking Dead
Kolbie-I will have a knife, to stab them in the head
Me-I think you will need a sword
Dalton-we will not be using many guns, we don’t need to alert others to our location
Me-Yeah and it’s not like we will have an unlimited supply of ammo, it will be just like The Walking Dead and we will have to travel to steal more
Dalton-yes that is a very good depiction of the end of the world, pretty accurate if you ask me
Me-well, let’s be honest, Rick has a lot on his shoulders, but even he loses his mind sometimes, so maybe we should consider letting Kolbie drive
Dalton-ummmm no

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