Monday, April 30, 2012

On pet peeves...


I think the biggest response I have ever had to a question of the day, was last Friday.  The question?  What is your biggest pet peeve?  I think sometimes people just want you to ask them how they feel about something and it opens the doors.  An invitation as such.  Even though I write a blog pretty much 5 days a week, I am human, I love being asked how I feel about something.  Because even though you pretty much know how I feel about EVERYTHING, there are things I wish people would ask me.  I probably don’t get asked because maybe people don’t want to know the answer.  Who knows?  The bottom line is this question got a lot of responses.  And most of us do not just have one.

I hate liars.  I don’t look at that as much as a pet peeve though as a major character flaw.  People that are different around different people.  Again, not so much a pet peeve as a character flaw.  It has to be hard to be so many different people.  How do you keep track of them all?  And who is supposed to be who when?  There were a lot of people who didn’t like Christmas lights up past a certain time.  I don’t know that that is so much a pet peeve as a joke.  But whatever.  I am supposed to be answering this question.

I really hate when you are on the phone with someone, and someone else is standing next to you telling you what to ask and say to the person on the phone.  Call them yourself for the love.  I don’t like being the middle man.  People who cannot drive at the very minimum, the speed limit as posted.  Arrogance.  We have no need to be the arrogant assholes that some of us can be, but yet, some people love it.  People that order multiple orders in the drive-thru.  People who don’t take a cart in from the cart corral, but instead, walk past 100 carts to go get one inside.  REALLY?  God we are a lazy society.  People who are perfectly capable of walking but insist on parking as close to the front door of a business as possible.  Dirty hands (when there is no reason and on a perfectly clean person.)  I am obsessed with clean hands…dirty hands I just can’t see the point of them.  I hate dishes in a sink.  They make these cool little gadgets now where you can have just enough soap to wash that one dish, you don’t have to run water…so use it and just do it.  Putting stuff back in the fridge that is blatantly completely empty, butter dish, milk, juice.  Jesus, use the last bit and be done with it. 

I just realized that I can make this list go on all night…I will stop there…those are probably my biggest ones.  There are a lot of things that bother me but I don’t know that I would call them pet peeves, as much as I would call them life requirements.  Like wet towel on the floor?  JUST PICK IT UP AND HANG IT.

Friday, April 27, 2012

San Clemente CA. for dinner please...



I love food.  That is blatantly obvious if you have seen me lately.  However, putting that aside, I love trying new food, I love cooking food, I love cooking food for other people.  I am not normally a jealous person, but on occasion I desire things other people have.  I am seriously jealous of Guy Fieri.  I mean Jesus H, what better job than to drive all over the country (although he probably flies) and eat at different cool ass joints.  I want to do that.  I want to be “that guy.”  Or girl, or whatever. 

There usually are no rules to the answers you folks provide, just whatever comes into your mind first.  So when I posed this question, I did not say it had to be present day.  So I was not surprised by those of you who wanted to go back to Grandma’s dinner table.  If you look back, I mean really look back, a lot of our best; most fond, most FUN memories involve food.  And that is how meals should be with family.  They should be events.  Even if it’s a 4th of July party, or Sunday dinners…good times surround good food. 

The other most popular answer was abroad…more specifically Italy.  And Paris.  I have never been to Paris, or Italy for that matter.  Although I truly believe that I would gladly go if offered.  So, with that being said, in MY MIND, I was shooting for a place I love, or had to been to, or hoped to someday return to because I loved it so much. 

So with that being said, my first answer would have been Redfish, in downtown Chicago, was attached to the Voodoo Lounge, which was just down from the House of Blues.  However, I know the restaurant is no longer there, not even sure about the lounge.  It was Cajun and Creole based food…and oh my God did I love that place.  Probably the best mac and cheese my mouth has encountered…and it arrived in a mini cast iron skillet. Anyway, it saddens me that it is no longer. 

So, if someone wanted to take me to dinner, I would ask them to take me to Fishermans Restaurant and Bar in San Clemente California…right on the beach.   It was the first stop on a trip I took with one of my BFF’s up the Pacific Coast Highway.  I absolutely LOVED San Clemente and hope to return.  I suppose it was the scenery and being on the ocean and the view and all that, but it was some damn good food.  Like it makes my mouth water just thinking about it.  Feel free to check it out.  It was the trip of a lifetime, just driving and enjoying the locals.  I truly love California though.  

Thursday, April 26, 2012

What a waste...


The biggest waste?  I think there are a lot of wastes.  Time probably being the biggest.  And as a society we are real, real good at it.  Wasting time.  I really enjoyed the answers this question evoked, because there were many different ones.  Like Junk Mail.  Huge waste of trees.  People, taking up space.  There are some people who are true waste of space indeed.  Plastic water bottles, overpaid employees who do very little work, mindless government paper work, Medicare, the cover your ass mentality, saying no when you are just going to say yes…you guys thought of some really great wastes. 

I think we live for the most part, above our means.  Certainly above our needs.  We waste a lot of things as human beings…air, land, space.  But to be honest with you, the biggest waste for me?  Food.  I didn’t realize how much food we discard as a society until I worked on the boat.  Food that is perfectly fine and can be used by hundreds of people, but once it’s been touched; it cannot be used for anything else.  We had our own mess hall on the ship, and were NOT served the food the passengers were.  And if you worked in the main buffet you were in for a rude awakening at the end of shift, when you had to dispose of 1000 of pounds of food, at each serving.  Food you were not allowed to eat either, even though it was going to be thrown away.  If you were caught stealing food, or eating that food, you were written up.  Written up 3 times and you got sent home.  For eating trash you would lose your job.

My point is that that is one facility…hundreds of thousands of restaurants, grocery stores, etc. discard unimaginable amounts of food.  And yet we have poverty and starvation in the United States?  Hard to wrap your hands around.  No one, I mean NO ONE should ever be hungry.  Ever.

If you eat with me or I fix you food, you will eat everything you take or I will eat everything I order.  Which can be really troublesome because some places OVER SERVE, like the portions are ridiculous.  Remember when 12 ounces was all the pop you were going to drink?  Now you can get a liter.  Well you can get a 2 liter as well, but I don’t know many people who can drink a whole one in one sitting.  Or when you go out to eat you get like half a head of lettuce, a loaf of bread, and then a meal?  I mean it is nuts. 

We need to take a step back and stop over indulging especially where food is concerned.  I hate wasting food.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Raising a human being...



I think if you make a conscious decision to bring a child into this world, that makes you responsible (up to a certain age) for their behavior.  There is no better person to dispense parenting advice than a person who is not a parent.  Right?  LOL, no, I am guessing most people think this is not something I should even talk about.  Well, I am entitled to my opinion.  And not having any for so long, or ever really, does at least tell me what I wouldn’t do.  Or shouldn’t do.  Or dream of doing.  Although most of the times my Sister would say, “I can’t wait until you have kids, since you think this is so easy.”  Uh I never said it was going to be easy.  But let’s be honest, we all choose our own battles.

This is tough territory to navigate for a person who has no kids.  But like I said, I certainly have an opinion about it.  I was disciplined as a child.  Spanked if you will.  I obviously survived to talk about it.  It appears that pretty much everyone who answered was spanked or also spanked their kids at some point.  I don’t think this works for everyone.  I mean I think certain kids, for lack of a better phrase, frankly don’t give a crap if you spank them.  I also believe there is a fine line between spanking and beating…and some people cross that.  At which point a child learns at a very young age, that that is a means to an end. 

I personally don’t think discipline, meaning the consequences of harmful actions, solves the problem that is rampant today.  Or what I VIEW to be rampant.  What I see, with my OWN eyes, is the lack of respect children have not just for their parents or siblings, but for other human beings as well.  It is obvious in disrupted classrooms, in public places, in bullying, etc.  We are taught right from wrong, or we should be, fairly early.  How we treat people is also a learned behavior. 

What you should know Wednesdays...

For the past few weeks I have asked my FB Friends/Family a random question of the day, because I love getting everyone's answers.  And then I Blog about it.  And it's nice.  And I think people like them.  Today, however, I am out of sorts.  I am sure I will Blog about THAT someday as well, but today not so much.  Today, I just need to diverge from the path a bit and do something else.  Don't worry, I will be writing soon about my Question of the Day, but today I thought I would share with you things I read throughout the week that I save, because I have some really good intentions of sharing them with others.  Why not make it a weekly Blog?  Good idea Tiff.

So below I will just write a little blurb about what it is and include the link should you want to read it yourself.  If you don't?  Cool.  Totally your choice...and there is nothing NOT cool about that.  I should give you a heads up, a lot of the articles are from The Huffington Post...because I love it so much.





  • Love food?  I do.  Love Pinterest?  I do.  Have every intention of making the delicious stuff you see on Pinterest?  I do.  Have yet to do it?  Me either.  But here are 10 people you should follow to make it a little bit easier.  No, I do not know these people, and no I am not getting any kickbacks for promoting them either.











Happy Reading!



Tuesday, April 24, 2012

On choosing friends...



How do I choose my friends?  This is a question that requires a variety of answers, but as I have tried to state so many times before, without splitting the atom, what is the FIRST thing you think about when you are asked this question?  The first thing that comes to mind for me?  Some friends are chosen for me.  They just happen.  But once I meet a person I then decide what I will share, when, how much, etc.  I choose my friends based on a lot of criteria but the most important one is do they accept me?  Just the way I am.  When you meet me there are no pretenses, there are no hidden agendas.  You get what you see.  People either love me or hate me.  It’s not for me to choose, but one thing you can never say is that I was or am a fraud.  I have a lot of friends.  I really do.  A lot of people I would call “friend.”

Sometime last year I stopped adding or accepting friend requests on Facebook based on some real simple criteria that Sister brought to my attention.  Are we friends in real life?  Face to face?  Do you speak to me when you see me?  If you don’t, we probably aren’t FB friends, nor are we “friends” in real life either.  And although I don’t use FB to determine the value of my friendships, I truly do use it to keep up with people I call “friend.”

Monday, April 23, 2012

Something beautiful...


Napali Coast, courtesy of JanLara Photo's 



It is no surprise that the most beautiful thing most people have ever seen is their children or grandchildren being born.  Having never gone through that whole thing myself, I can’t imagine anything slimy and screaming would be beautiful although I do believe the birth itself would probably nix anything we may or may not look like when we come into this world.  So I cannot judge anyone who thinks that the most beautiful thing is child birth.

I have seen many beautiful things.  Seriously.  Beautiful people, places, sounds, things.  Right now, if you asked me, I would say the Napali Coast on the island of Kauai, Hawaii.  I am not kidding when I say it took my breath away.  And you cannot describe it to someone, they have to see it.  I saw it from a cruise ship, so we were able to see the entire, untouched by man, coastline.  Maybe it was the day I had had, maybe it was the lighting that afternoon, maybe it was where I was in my life at that moment, but to stop breathing for any period of time because something’s beauty overwhelms you?  Well, that sticks with a person.   It is something I think everyone should do in their lifetime.  Put it on your bucket list.

When I asked this question, of course my first answer was the Napali Coast.  However, a lot of people would be surprised to hear my next thought involved death.  I was not there the minute that my Grandma left our world, but I was shortly thereafter.  You could have told me that seeing a person finally resting in peace would be beautiful and I would say that you and that is morbid.  There is no way in hell there is anything beautiful about that.  Well, it is beautiful if you are fortunate enough to watch a person stop fighting.  Literally rest in peace.  There was something so moving and so profound and so life changing.  Not everyone gets this…to see this happen.  But it makes a person able to deal with it better if you can.  I was also there when my cousin Molly left our world.  And I will never forget how beautiful Michelle became in that moment.  The concept of letting your child go is unfathomable to me, but the peace, in that brief fleeting moment, that came over Molly and her Mom, knowing she could finally rest, was not something I have ever seen before either.  Not that I want to again, but if you have witnessed it you could understand where I am coming from. 

There are beautiful things around us daily, most of the time we miss them.  We are too busy.  I try to pay attention, but I am just as guilty as the next person.  Life is a lot more fun if you can find something beautiful in it. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Smashing the Pole Vault record...


If I could smash one thing and one thing only, it would be the proverbial glass ceiling.  In my former life, I was a corporate employee who did such a thing and although I wanted to bust that ceiling with certain people sitting on it so that they would fall to the ground once I did shatter it, it just doesn’t work that way. 

I wouldn’t mind also smashing some world record, although I don’t know which one that would be or why, other than to simply say I had.  I think a small part of me wishes I had been an Olympic Athlete although again, I don’t necessarily know in which sport.  For some reason, Tiffany Buckman SMASHES the World Pole Vaulting record just doesn’t have the kind of punch I am going for. 

Interestingly a lot of people wanted to smash other people.  Which I am sure we have all wanted to do at some point in our lives.  There are only 2 people on this planet that I could ever conceivably say I would want to do that too and even then it wouldn’t be worth it. 

One of my favorite answers was over inflated egos!  Good answer.  Although I think I would personally get more satisfaction out of slowly letting the air out of them then smashing them, but to each their own.
I do believe at one point or another in our lives we have all wanted to take a hammer to something and smash the hell out of it.  I know I have. 

As usual I loved all of the answers I received and mostly just love that so many people participate!  I honestly thought more people would say a pumpkin or other larger fruit (thanks Reta for the watermelon!)

Evolution...


7:45AM
Kolbie: I have a field trip today, my bus leaves at 8:30, and I really need to hurry to school today.

Me: Ummm ok, I always have you there on time, today shouldn’t be a problem.  You are going to the Chimpanzee movie at the IMAX and Momma’s coming too right?

Kolbie: Yep and then we are going to a park to have lunch and play if it doesn’t rain.

Dalton: This sounds very familiar to something we did when I was your age.  We went to see the new Earth movie and then to a park to play.  Yes, this is strikingly similar to when we went.

Kolbie: Do you know they found another Earth that looks like Earth?

Dalton/Me: Furrowed brows…say what?

Kolbie: A planet another planet, that is like Earth.

Me: Yes I believe that, we are hypocrites if we think we are not alone. 

Dalton: You mean another planet that sustains life?  Of course.  Other scientific mumbo jumbo I lost track of.  The world was created by a giant asteroid that crashed into the Earth and created organisms.  First fish, then apes, then us.

Me: We came from fish?

Kolbie:  I don’t know, it just seems weird.  How did one man, God, make all this?

Me to Dalton: So you think there is another planet with cities and stuff like ours?

Dalton: No, not necessarily cities but can you imagine the things we could teach one another if our two worlds got together?

Me: You mean you believe in Aliens and do you think they look like the aliens on TV?

Dalton: Well, maybe, I mean no one knows for sure.

Me: What if we do get together and a human and whatever other species this is fall in love and have babies, won’t they be real strange looking?

Dalton: It doesn’t matter what they look like does it?  Cross species is not uncommon.

Kolbie: You guys are gross; I don’t even want to talk about this anymore.

Me: Hey, cross species or whatever, it could happen.  Stranger things have happened.

Kobie: Yeah, like God being responsible for all of this.

Me: Maybe we evolved from apes.

Dalton: Well it is a bit of a stretch that Adam and Eve created all of us.  I mean two people, to now billions?

Me:  Right because that means we are all related if that’s the case right?

Dalton: We are related.

Me: Well yes, you and I are, but I mean EVERYONE on the planet.

Kolbie: That’s weird and confusing and I just can’t think about this anymore.

Dalton: You know there really was a Jesus.  Okay left field.  Like there was proof.  He may not have been the magical mystical being that we are supposed to believe, but there was a man named Jesus.  And he did die and when his mother came to the tomb, the shape of his robe was there but no body.  No tissue and bones and skin and stuff just the form of his body.  I mean how weird is that?  There is proof.  He really existed.   But what happened to his body?  Where did it go?

Me: This is very deep stuff for a Friday.

Kolbie: I’m just confused.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Reality is'NT so bad...


The definition of reality; the quality or state of being actually true, real.  A real thing.  Facts.  Does that mean reality is the truth?  It appears to be so.  Reality changes for all of us, sometimes daily.  To me, most of our reality is that we get up, we go to work, we take care of kids, we plan events, and we eat, sleep and drink to survive.  Not all of our realities are the same obviously.

When I posted this question, I immediately thought of an email I wrote when my cousin Molly (CLICK HERE for her story) was battling a brain tumor.  Even though the title of the email was defining normal, the gist of it was that what may be normal for you is not normal for everyone else.  I have included that email below:

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Because I said so...


The best advice my mother ever gave me?  WOW.  Where do I start?  If you don’t know my mom, that’s sad, I wish you did.  Was she the perfect mother?  Hardly.  In fact, she is quite flawed.  And she has certainly not lived a perfect life.  But, she is my mom, quite possibly my truest best friend, and one helluva woman.  I don’t know anyone who has a bigger heart and a bigger capacity for compassion.  I am positive that she passed that on to me. 

I don’t know if the things my mom have told me could be considered advice or suggestions.  Because it always seems like she said “I suggest” versus, “my advice to you would be.”  I suppose the biggest, most important one was, as the song says, “Momma always said there’d be days like this.”  Most often used when I was having a shitty day. 

And probably the next thing and perhaps as equally as important as knowing there would be shitty days, was her insistence that if we wanted to judge people, we could certainly “walk a mile in their moccasins.”  I don’t remember her being in our face about it, just quite confident that our lives weren’t so bad and if we thought they were, we could certainly go try someone else’s.  It is a tough lesson to teach a child or anyone really…that other people struggle too.  That life is less than perfect for pretty much all of us.  That our discipline was nothing compared to how it could be or what other kids had to endure.  That life can always be so much worse than we think.

It was/is no secret that we were thought of as spoiled rotten rich kids.  If people only knew.  I am not saying we didn’t have things.  I am not saying we didn’t get spoiled.  I am saying that all of us had jobs before we could drive on our own.  All of us had responsibilities in the home that no one else got to see.  There is a picture of the 3 of us doing dishes when we were all standing on chairs because we were too little to reach the sink.  We didn’t get handed things.  Contrary to popular belief.  And I am positive we didn’t because if we thought we needed something we were reminded that others didn’t have those things and if we wanted them so bad, we could earn them. 

Last and not least… “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  She was quite adamant about giving props to Eleanor Roosevelt for saying it, but she wanted to make sure we knew that.  From that moment on, whenever someone would hurt me and a lot did and a lot still do, she would say this.  They hurt you because you let them.

I suppose the only advice that she personally gave me that I have never used is the advice about being a mother myself.  “I can’t wait until you are a mom, then you will have answers to so many of your questions about why I said because I said so.”

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

In your eyes...


The windows to the soul...

Yes the eyes.  They are and anyone who thinks they are not, well, apparently doesn’t have a soul themselves.  Just kidding…the most physically attractive thing to ME about another human being would be their eyes.  Hands being a close second.  But you can tell everything you need to know about a person by their eyes.  Everything.  They tell you when a person is happy, sad, mad, hurt, down, elated, angry.  I have a hard time with people who are able to block emotions through their eyes.  I don’t know many people who can, but some can and those people scare me.  I also have issue with people who won’t look at me when they are talking to me.  LOOK AT ME.  I am not horrible to look at.

This question of the day lead to a tremendous amount of responses.  I was overwhelmed really.  And I would say the majority of people said eyes.  Which also overwhelms me because we live in a society where our appearance MEANS everything.  I don’t care who you are, a person could have the most beautiful eyes in the world, and immediately our own eyes would look elsewhere.  If that person would be 50# overweight, suddenly those eyes aren’t so beautiful.  I consider myself in the minority where this is concerned, because I do not see size.

The eyes are the very first thing I see when I look at someone.  I don’t see weight, or height, or shape or size or even their sex.  I see their eyes.  I am not saying those other things do not come shortly after that.  I know some really ugly people who have beautiful, beautiful eyes.  Which is unfair because that should not happen, but it does.  Not so beautiful people, somehow get blessed with beautiful features. 

Jody doesn’t read my blog, so I can call him out on this, but interestingly, we both enjoy going to dinner together and people watching…the last time we went out we both agreed there was something very “simply attractive” about our waitress…I said, yes, she has beautiful eyes…his response?, “she has eyes?”  So, yeah…apples and oranges there, but it was funny. 

The fact that so many people responded eyes shocked me really.  Because the next time you are somewhere and you notice someone, see if you can remember what color their eyes are.  Teeth and smile were next.  It’s obvious the first thing we notice is a person’s face, but I was surprised to see that people do distinguish between those main things.

Since I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am already so transparent, it should come as no surprise that my eyes tell you everything else you need to know.  Check them out sometime.  I think the nicest compliment I ever received about them were that they were as precious as puppy dog eyes.  I would venture a guess that most people don’t even know what color my eyes are.

Monday, April 16, 2012

When no one is looking...


We ALL do things when no one is looking.  Every single one of us.  I would say the majority of us walk around naked or sing.  Pick our nose?  Talk to the animals?  Or perhaps the TV?  Dance?  Scratch an itch that would probably not be polite to do in public?  I suppose most of us don’t think about it, because it’s like breathing, some of the things we do when no one is looking.

Next time you are alone, try to remember to see what it is you do.  I think what we do says a lot about our personalities.  For instance, I don’t walk around naked.  EVER.  Not even when I lived in my own home.  Not even when I was physically fit.  I hate being naked.  Other people’s nudity doesn’t bother me, but mine sure does.  And nudity is one of those funny things really.  Some people really don’t give a shit.  Like if I had to live in a nudist colony, well, I just couldn't.

I don’t know what I do when no one is looking…but when I posed this question, I was truly thinking more along the lines of the Blake Shelton song, “Who Are You When I’m not Looking…” the quirky little fun things.  And no, I don’t mean fart out loud, or poop with the bathroom door open…I mean like do you still kneel at your bed to pray…do you make a Mohawk with your hair in the shower…do you have to listen to classical music when you are cooking…that kind of stuff.

I love to sing, I don’t care who is listening.  You just don’t have to worry about me singing naked.  

Friday, April 13, 2012

Can you keep a secret?...


Can you keep a secret?  I don’t know if anyone really can.  Can we?  Keeping a secret means you are the only one who knows.  It doesn’t mean you can share it with your best friend, your spouse, your dog…I will live, breathe and (hopefully not anytime soon) die by the philosophy that if you don’t want someone to know something, you won’t tell someone else, not to tell anybody.  Does that make sense?

I personally don’t think we are meant to keep secrets.  Especially now in our technologically-driven social media world.  I know very few people who can keep a secret.  And yes, if more than one person knows something, it is not a secret.  Most people will say, “Well I told my husband, I tell him everything.”  Which essentially means, no you cannot keep a secret.  A lot of you said you could keep a secret…I don’t have any secrets I want tested, so I can verify that to be true or not, but if you really can keep one, kudos to you.

Most of the time we WANT people to know things.  Sometimes we purposely test people, by asking them to keep a secret.  We live in a world where we prefer that the world knows what we have going on.  Well most of us do.  Some of us prefer that no one knows our business and that really is the best, but it is entirely TOO easy to let people know things now.  When I was growing up, good news or bad news, or any news for that matter, took a long time to get places.  So the life of a secret had some longevity.  Nowadays, most secrets get around before they are even finished being told.

I don’t like secrets.  I like happy surprises.  But I don’t like secrets.  No good usually comes out of one.  If you ask me, a secret weighs pretty heavy.  Like the kind of heavy that isn’t worth dragging around.  I have my own secrets.  Personal secrets.  Secrets that hurt no one.  We all do.  Those are ours to deal with.  I don’t want to keep secrets.  So don’t ask me to.  If you tell me something is a surprise and then ask me not to tell someone, I can do that.  Is that different?  Yes, I do believe so.

Bottom line.  You have a secret?  It is no longer a secret when you tell someone…or I guess you are gambling if you choose to.  Do so at your own discretion.  But don’t tell me.  I don’t like them.  You are going to surprise someone and want me not to spill those beans?  I can handle that.  But a secret that may or may not be harmful to someone, anyone, don’t tell me.  I don’t want to know.  I would rather be oblivious. 

And one more thing?  Don’t tell me YOU HAVE A SECRET…and then leave it at that.  If you have no intentions of sharing (even though I don’t want to know) don’t bother telling people you have something you are not sharing.  That is a huge pet peeve and it just makes me mad.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'm all ears...


Did you know there are a right way and a wrong way to eat a chocolate bunny?  Well there is, according to Sister who apparently is the Easter Expert, on so many levels other than just the candy. 

I suppose when presented with “the problem” of eating a chocolate bunny, I go with what comes naturally and that is to eat his ears first because it is easier to hold.  And it makes sense.  Everything we eat we pretty much eat from the top down, for instance a sandwich.  I don’t know anyone that eats the bottom of their sandwich first so as to “maintain” the appearance of the item you are eating.  Which was the reason I was given for why it is “proper” to eat from the bottom up, so that “he” (apparently only male rabbits get turned into edible chocolate bunnies) can look pretty in his package, while he was being eaten.  I will not bother you all with the list of reasons why this is all so incredibly wrong.

At the point that he becomes something edible is the point where I think he no longer gives a shite about how he is eaten.  And maybe there is no right way or wrong way, but there is the normal way and there is Sister’s way and well, that answers a lot of questions now doesn’t it?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My Dignity and Chapstick...


Diet Pepsi is the one thing a lot of people couldn’t live without when or if times ever get tough.  Actually something containing caffeine was answered a lot.  Thankfully toilet paper was also suggested, although Mindy really did specify which brand, which was kind of the direction I was going to be honest.  The answers were interesting; pets, God, music, hairspray, the internet/phone, razors, a car, Prozac, eyebrow waxing, mascara…really interesting answers. 

These questions that I present can have a ton of answers which is why I ask them.  And sometimes posing the same question to 20 different people, realizes 20 different results, which also fascinates me, how we all interpret things differently.  Some answers require more than the space allotted as well, but really, honestly, I just want to know everyone’s FIRST response, their first answer.  Not the “if-then” scenario.

We take so much for granted.  I've learned that as a business owner, I've learned that living on my own; I've learned that by practically living at the bottom of the ocean.  Our wants are very, very different from our needs.  Most of us are fortunate that we can choose and distinguish between those two things.  Some people have no choice…they get what they need.  No more and no less. 

I guess I really wanted the question to resonate and hit close to home should your life change drastically tomorrow.  If you woke up and lost your job and had to accept a position paying significantly less than what you were used to making, what is the ONE thing, no matter how much money you had or were going to have, would you REFUSE to live without?  I “assumed” one would continue to use toilet paper, but according to Mindy, her reduction in income would not persuade her to buy a cheaper version.  That is kind of what I was looking at.  Prozac?  Yep, probably a good idea to continue getting that.  Diet Pepsi?  Some peoples Prozac.  Vodka?  Other peoples Prozac.  Items that change our appearance?  Ok…Not one person said cigarettes…which I know some of the people that answered, do smoke, so I found that interesting.  In summary though, I guess we would refuse to go without drugs and self-gratification products?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Say my name, say my name...

For sure you are now humming that tune at least?


What’s in a name?  Well a helluva lot if you want to know the truth.  If I were a Hershey, or a Rockefeller, or a Nixon, or a Carnegie, or a Ford?  I mean, come on, my life would probably be a smidge different.  I am none of those things.  I am a Buckman.  Tiffany Danielle Buckman to be exact, and I am totally fine with that.  Because that was not who I was supposed to be.  I was supposed to be Gretchen (who knows what) Buckman.  I am glad I am not and I am sorry to all the Gretchen’s out there, but it’s not my favorite name.  If you follow my blog, you know the story, my Grandma Rosie wanted me named after Audrey Hepburn’s famous movie, Breakfast at Tiffany’s…and thank God, Grandma Rosie got her wish.  Or my mom was too tired to care. 

I am pretty sure that when a parent decides on what to name their child, the first concern is not how that child is going to feel 10 years from now about this name, but what name they love at that moment.  And it is a huge mistake, generally, to tell people what name you have chosen because people will have some comment about it that changes everything!  Someone knows someone who knows someone with that name.

Names have come a long way.  My parents chose not to follow along with the rest of the world and use any of the popular names during the year’s sister, brother and I were born…in fact, we all have rather atypical names.   But look here to see how different the names are now…

If I had to change my name?  To be honest, I hated my name when I was growing up.  Tiffany was not a tomboy name and I was.  I am completely fine with it now and I love my middle name a lot.  My mom got in trouble for not naming us after Saints but all of our middle names are, so she covered her butt so to speak.  I would probably change my name to Katniss…LOL.  Totally describes the bow wielding menace to society that I am!

I love the names people chose to change theirs too if they had to...some of them were silly, but some of them were well thought out. 

I do have favorite names for boys and girls…but I shall keep them to myself.  You never know when I may have to make that announcement and I don’t want anyone ruining it for me! 

Friday, April 6, 2012

C'mon feel the noise...


I was getting a little worried when I asked y’all what is the first thing you miss when the electricity goes out.   A little worried, because no one had picked my answer.  And I got to thinking, maybe there was something wrong with me and then I remembered there is nothing wrong with me, but there is a lot wrong with the world I live in, however, I will save that rambling for another time.

A lot of people answered with an “if-then statement.”  For instance, if my electricity goes out in the summer, then I would initially miss the A/C.  But I have to tell you…something real, real important here.  I work with a guy who answers every single question I ask him as if I have asked him to give me every possible answer the question can have.  NOOOOOOOOOOO.  Your first instinct is my favorite answer.  Obviously lots of questions are answered based on different criteria.  If you answer these questions of the day with variable answers I feel like I am in a math equation and it will cause me to get hives, so just go with your gut.  BOOM, Lights go out…what do you miss, that second.

I miss the noise.  Instantly.  The only time I realize how much background/white noise we have going on in our lives, is when the power goes out.  It’s too quiet.  I have to have noise.  Radio at work, fan when I sleep, water moving at the beach…very very rarely do we have absolute silence, but we do when the power goes out. I think Amanda and Kelli were the only two that mentioned noise, thank God…I was beginning to think it was my issue and my issue alone…Amy Jo did mention her fan, which is kind of saying the same thing…anyway, I cannot stand the silence.  Some people say “silence is golden…”well that’s fine, but I don’t need things that quiet.  Truly when the power goes out, I do not want freak out at the air temperature or the lack of light, or not being able to flush, etc.  I freak out because I can’t stand to hear myself think without some noise in the background…

On Life Lessons...


A life lesson I have learned…

Oh my hell.  I don’t have a big enough space to put all the things down that I have learned.  I have learned so much.  I think acknowledging that is half of the battle, don’t you?  That you have learned something, anything at all?

As I expected, the responses included saying I love you before it’s too late.  But interestingly there were so many different ones.  Ones I honestly didn’t expect, but ultimately loved.  Such as:

Take care of your own
Celebrate the good choices, don’t worry about the bad ones
To listen more than talk
Never put your keys in the same place
Measure twice, cut once
It’s ok to have obsessions and own them
The problem is not at the bottom of the beer can


Obviously there were many more…but these weren’t ones I expected I guess.

Seriously…I have so many, I don’t even know which one to use.  I guess I have two major lessons.  My Grandma Rosie used the first one so frequently that it stuck and it stuck so much I had it tattooed on my leg, in case I ever forget.  “This too shall pass.”  And she was right, no matter what it is, no matter how it happens, no matter when it happens, whatever it is, it passes.  It really can be good and bad things it doesn’t have to apply to strictly bad things or problems.   

The other thing I have learned is that everything will be ok in the end.  If it’s not ok, it’s not the end. 

I think the most important thing is to be open to learning a lesson.  Any lesson.  Whatever it may be.  The lesson may be hard to swallow, it may hurt, it may be the best lesson we ever get, but being willing to accept it and embrace it is paramount.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

On Running Away...


We all want to run away at some point in our lives.  The first time I remember actually running away I was quite little.  I don’t remember if it was actually me running away or if I was following Sister, because she was running away.  I just remember, for lack of a better word, a ramshackle bag packed, snow on the ground, and getting far enough from the house to be able to hide but still see if anyone was following me/us.  No one did, and I or we got cold and eventually went home.  I would love to hear other peoples “I ran away” stories.   I would imagine some of us have some good ones.

I have this problem with relationships as well.  Kind of.  I hate fighting.  So instead of fighting I walk away…if I stay and fight it’s really not a good thing at all.  I guess I have been accused of “running away” from problems because of that, but if that were really true, I would not still be in Illinois 10 years after returning back here again.  I walk away from a fight; I don’t think that's running away from life.

Now, as adults when we want to run away, it’s usually from our responsibilities at home, work or school.  I have a lot of places I love to go to get away.  I read.  I crawl in bed, turn all the lights off and nap, take my chair to the river (which is probably my most recent favorite.)  When I was in Minnesota, I would drive up to the cabin.  I have only done this twice, but when I really wanted to get away, I would go stay at a Stony Creek Inn, in one of the whirlpool/fireplace rooms.  Yes, totally alone.  But I would take a bottle of wine, turn my phone off, crank up the air, sit and soak in a hot bubbly tub and then curl up by the fireplace with a book and disappear.  If I could afford it, I would do it once a month.  It may only be in East Peoria, but I felt a million miles away from whatever crap I wanted away from.  Probably the most relaxed I have ever been.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Making sense of it all...


I would say for the majority of the people I know, they all have their senses.  Well, some of us lack common sense.  Like all the time.  I have moments of complete and utter ridiculousness, but for the most part I think I have a healthy dose of common sense and book smarts.  I find it rather interesting that people, who have a strong presence of one, typically lack the other.  Like really, really intelligent people sometimes can’t figure out how to do simple daily tasks.

The senses I am really talking about are the 5 major senses we associate with life.  Smell, taste, touch, sight and sound.  Some people are born blind or deaf, or without the ability to smell…sometimes a major life event or trauma occurs when you least expect it and one of those senses is taken away, whether we like it or not.  I posed the question, if you had to get rid of one and had the choice, which would you choose.  And it was pretty much a tie between smell and taste.  Interestingly 90% of what we actually believe to be taste is really due to smell.  What I mean is that the two together are required for one or the other to actually work.  Without the two you would not be able to grasp complex flavors but rather be limited to the basic sensations the tongue can define (salty, sweet, bitter, sour and umami.)  CLICK HERE for some really good reading material on how the two really work together and why.  It is fascinating stuff really, but I am not an expert in this kind of thing, so I will let other people handle that explanation. 

Personally, I absolutely adore eating too much to lose my sense of taste or smell.  And smell, as you will see in the article above, is also connected to memory.  I can smell something and it will make me remember certain things from my childhood.  Smell is also associated with illness, especially of the neurological kind. 

Do that experiment sometime.  Eat something flavored and plug your nose.  You should notice a huge difference.

Anyway, I am also such a visual person, so I could not lose my sight…nor could anyone who answered my question.  I am such a touchy person too.  I can’t imagine not being able to feel a hug or when I gave one.  This is a tough call for me.  Having said all that, all that is left is sound.  I don’t want to ever imagine a world without my hearing…children laughing, songs playing…however; I can still communicate without my hearing.  An entire language is dedicated to it, that I think all grade school children should be taught.  My friend Heidi taught both of her children sign language when they were infants, I thought that was amazing.   Anyway, we all know that communication is vital to me as well, so the fact that I can still communicate without my hearing would be my saving grace in having to lose that sense.

I know for a fact that we take them all for granted.  So the next time you are doing something, really pay attention to what it sounds like, or smells like, or tastes like, looks like and most importantly, what it felt like…what did you feel?


Monday, April 2, 2012

Bully

What would you attempt to do if you could not fail?  I had to think about this.  It didn't immediately come to me.  There a lot of things I want to do.  I want to write a book, I want to be criminal profiler, I want to lose weight, I want to cure cancer…I want to attempt to do a lot of things but being worried about failing is not what has prevented me from doing them.  It’s making those things a priority and let’s be honest, I am not educated enough to cure cancer, but I sure as hell want to.

If I could really do something and not fail I would honest to God stop the bullying that exists in our world.  Too many of the blogs I follow and the articles I read are about kids committing suicide and it being due to being harassed by their peers.  I am going to go a little “off the chart” here, but there are few things that piss me off more than when any human being bully’s someone especially for being different. 

Let me make my thoughts perfectly clear when I tell you that we are not born hating people.  We are not born judging people.  We are not born knowing what makes any of us different.  We are not born claiming superiority over anyone.  We are taught these things.  These are learned behaviors.  I would imagine there is some sort of psychological study that shows to what degree we can blame how we are raised or what happens in our homes as we grow up.

To ever get to the point that you think taking your own life would be easier than the torture you have to endure everyday just by going to school, or being in other social groups, would have to be the saddest place to ever find yourself, or your child, or someone you love.  It is hard enough being a kid now anyway.  Technology has made it so that a child almost does not have to interact with a human being at all.  And a lot of people have used the TV as a babysitter.  For some children their only social connection with other children is at school.  So imagine an introverted child, going to school and being surrounded by other children who think his being unsociable is a character flaw that they can pounce on.  There are so many variables to social interactions as well.  I just think people who have children have a responsibility to teach them empathy.  A responsibility to teach them about our differences.  I don’t understand a parent who wants to teach their child to hate.  Or that it is okay to humiliate, torture or destroy a person’s spirit.

CLICK HERE to read about this ground breaking documentary that I personally feel should be shown at every single school across the nation.  Something has to be done.  I know I don’t have children, but I seriously cannot fathom living in a world where sending our children to school could possibly kill them.

Ellen interviewed the parents of a child who was bullied and hung himself in 2009.  I will warn you that if you have a heart, it will bring tears.  And it should also make you want to do something to stop this.  We can all start by teaching our children to accept all people, no matter what.  If we can be taught to hate, we sure as hell can be taught to love.  We don’t have to love everyone, we don’t even have to like them…but we can walk away if someone is different and we don't like it. 

I urge you to watch this and take a stand:

A real good day...



There are moments in your life, sometimes brief, sometimes a little longer if you are lucky, where all of the things that you need to line up, do; where you are truly in harmony with the world.  It can happen several times in a lifetime.  Where you truly feel like you are exactly where you need to be.  Everything makes sense.  Everything FEELS right.  I had a moment like this yesterday.  Not only did I spend the day with awesome friends and family, but I made new friends as well. 

I was born and raised on the Spoon River.  Yes, yes, we all know I left for a while, but it has been and will always be where I was raised.  I am pretty sure I have spent more time at that river in the last couple years than I probably have my whole life.  But there is something special about being able to be there with other people who appreciate it as much as you do. 

Maybe it took almost 40 years to truly appreciate it, but yesterday, was simply by far, probably one of the best days of 2012.  And I am positive there will be many more.  You see, when I went out of the month of January, with a bang (or just broken bones) I wasn’t sure that this year was going to be okay.  I mean it started out so crappy.  But after yesterday, I think it may be a good year!

There was no drama, no fighting, no annoying people buzzing our little party with their four wheelers…it was just a really great group of people spending the day on the beach…87 degrees on the first day of April!  

Thank you all for “showing up.”