Tuesday, January 20, 2015

When I come Home...

I don't think he will know. 
I don't think he will ever know. 
I don't think he will understand how it was just him and I against the world and we didn't conquer it...oh hell no. We didn't come close. We laughed. We laughed at how far away we were at actually conquering it that it wasn't even funny. 

It was my Father who my made me find you. It was my father who didn't want you in his house in the first place that sought you out. 

Was it because he knew I would be alone? Was it because he knew I needed you as much as you needed me? 
I didn't want to need anything don't you get it?

And yet every single damn day. Rain or shine. Day or night. Early or late. You are there. Not judging me like so many do. And I can't take your unconditional love sometimes because I don't feel like I deserve it. I got you when I least had the ability to train you. And yet you waited patiently in that pen until one day you jumped over it and said I am here. Here. 

And you've taken care of me every single day since. And you are rotten. Spoiled rotten. And maybe because I can't have my own kids and maybe because the sister before you was special needs and I didn't get her for very long either. 

Regardless. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could physically tell you how much you mean to me. I wish you knew that after the day I had or the feelings I had, that I could say, Brodie James, it means every God damn thing in the world to me that you leap for the sky when I walk in this room after being gone all day, because I promise you, I won't live long enough for another human being to make me feel the way you you do when I come home.