Don't Come At Me...

There are a lot of things I care about that a lot of you don't know I care about.  And then some of you do.  Know that I care about these things.  And some of those things I don't talk about because it just creates drama that I do not want nor need in my life.  Like I specifically don't talk about politics or religion, but it is not because I don't care about them.  They personally infuriate me and to be honest I am not that educated about either to go spouting off about them.  People should believe what they want and follow who they want and act however they want.  That's why we were supposedly given the freedoms that we have today.  And to be honest, far more important people fight daily for those freedoms and are severely underpaid for them.  The amount of money we pay a professional athlete versus the man or the woman on the front line fighting for our right to watch that athlete without getting blown to pieces, is ass backwards if you ask me.  But no one has in fact...asked me.

Here is something I do care very very much about.  And I don't speak of it often, because if you know me it shouldn't need explained.  But sometimes it does.  I was reminded this morning by my Sister, that just because people don't believe what I believe, doesn't mean either one of us is wrong, and that I have to respect a persons right to not follow my beliefs.  And I do.  Usually.  IF you can show me and explain to me why you believe what you believe.  Because I am willing to defend my beliefs by explaining them to you.

The past few days have been monumental in terms of what is happening in the Human Rights Campaign.  Let us be real clear that HUMAN RIGHTS is simply that...it DOES NOT JUST ENCOMPASS GAY RIGHTS...it's a thought that some day, some way, some how, all humans will be treated equally.  Gay, straight, bi, black, white, male, female.  So please, don't call what's happening right now at the Supreme Court level, a Gay Crusade.  It's one facet of the Human Rights campaign and just so happens to be the current focus.  Marriage Equality.  That a HUMAN deserves the right to marry any other HUMAN they so desire.  But please do not come at me with, if that happens, then people will be allowed to marry their pets next.  By saying something even remotely like that, you describe yourself in ways no action ever needs to.

I do not disrespect people who want the definition of marriage to stay what it is.  You are entitled to feel that way.  But please don't come at with the union of a same sex couple will ruin the "sanctity" of marriage.  Straight people do that daily all by themselves.  Honestly don't come at me with that phrase at all.

I do not disrespect people who's life is guided by the Bible.  I have personally never met anyone in my lifetime that has read it cover to cover.  So please don't come at me with "excerpts" of it which clearly shows that God and Jesus hates gays.  Or that we are an abomination.  Because that would mean you haven't read all of the other stuff it says about not killing, not cheating, not lying, not wearing certain fabrics, not judging, etc. etc.  I have never read the entire Bible, so I sure as hell would never throw that book at someone.  It says a lot of things.

I do not give two shits about what you and your straight significant other, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and or wife, do in the privacy of your own bedroom.  So please don't come at me with what I do or how I feel or how I experience love is wrong and sick.  Unless I am having sex in the broad daylight, you have no need to care what I do, who I do it with, or how I do it.  If you think that is sick and wrong, I suggest you do some research on what happens to woman, children and even men, in OUR own country, who get sold as sex slaves.

I have never asked anyone, friends or family to embrace me or my choices.  If they couldn't or chose not to, we simply would not exist in one another's lives.  I will not force anything I feel down anybody's throats.  Just not how I roll.  What is happening right now in the Supreme Court is a big deal.  It is a big deal to me.  You do not have to embrace it as I am, you don't even have to like it.  I wouldn't choose to not associate with you if you did.  I would chose to not associate with you if you came at me with any of the above excuses.  Because to be honest, they don't hold a lot of water for me.

SMH Galesburg...

This past Sunday as you know, was St. Patrick's Day.  If you know me, you know it is my favorite holiday.  It is my favorite holiday because there are no gifts involved or required, nor is there a massive meal that needs planned.  You can do all of those things if you so desire, but they are not traditional let's say.  So contrary to popular belief, I do not love it because it is an opportunity to get drunk.

Needless to say some very wonderful friends and family saw to it that I had a St. Patrick's Day to remember and I will never forget it.  It was fun and special and I laughed, harder than I had in awhile.  And fun was had by all.  AND because it is 2013 and times are different, people went out of their way to make sure we all had a designated driver.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  Not only are they wonderful people but they are also FUN people who do not have to drink to have fun.

Regardless of all of that fun, I am pissed and I am pissed for a very good reason.

Not one establishment would give our drivers a free non alcoholic beverage.  Juice, tea, fountain pop. Not one.  Had we went in to each place and only stayed for one drink, meh, maybe, but there were at least 15 of us, more towards the end of the day and every single solitary place refused to give our driver a drink.  And multiple drinks were purchased of the alcoholic variety.  Also, when we were at these places, we were pretty much the only ones there with a few tables here and there at different ones.  It would not have been hard to keep track of these people and it wouldn't have cost the bar a damn cent after what we were paying for drinks.

Why does this make me mad?  Simple?  You have 3 grown ass adults driving all these other grown ass adults around YOUR TOWN, going to YOUR ESTABLISHMENTS and you cannot be bothered to give them a free pop?  So that no one leaves your establishment and kills themselves or someone else?

Furthermore, I will probably NOT be going back to the Corner Connection, who kicked my almost 18 year old niece out because he didn't want to get a $500 fine.  He didn't even card her or ask to see her ID.  But when told she was there to drive her parents home, he still didn't care.

I get there are rules to follow and ordinances and what not, I really do.  My problem is that we bent over backwards to make sure everyone got from point A to point B safely, only to be treated like our drivers were not appreciated.  I owned a bar.  I respect anyone who drives for someone.  And on a Sunday when you are not that busy, you can keep track of the person who isn't drinking.  She came at the end as well, it's not like we drug her around to the bars all day.

Anyway, there will be a Second Annual Shamrock Shuffle and I think I will stick to our little towns and villages where most of us grew up and have tried to make businesses thrive and succeed.  I am not saying we were mistreated in any way, I am saying, I know how much that pop would have cost, or how much a glass of tea would have been and there is no way in hell it would have broke any of those establishments for the day.  I also have an idea of how expensive a DUI can be and how valuable a life is so I guess if my niece is a couple months away from being able to go to war, I didn't expect it to be a problem for her to come make sure her parents got home safely.

Shaking my head Galesburg, shaking my head...

Here's a Tip for Ya!

Service.

I have already blogged about this once.  And actually that "piece" created some interesting conversations.  But anyway, on the radio yesterday Dwyer and Michaels were talking about how the advent of "debit cards" has driven us, literally, into a paperless society.  How no one carries cash or change anymore.  A man called in to say he stopped at some gas station near Chillicothe a couple weeks ago to put some air in his tires and you could charge it.  You can put AIR on your debit card.  AIR.  Can you imagine what that line item says?

The conversation lead to how people in the service industry were complaining about how this paperless society has affected tipping.  And how because of this, tech companies are creating systems to improve that, as well as how basically anywhere you go now, you see a tip jar.  Oil change stations, doughnut shop, sandwich shops...(there has always been a tip jar at the coffee shops.)  You get the concept.

They were discussing how these tech companies have created a stand alone machine where you can leave a tip if you so desire.  One didn't give a receipt, the other one well I don't even remember.  So basically the argument was that here was this machine with all of your vital information stored in it.  Well, let's be honest every single time you swipe your card anywhere, someone other than you has your info.  If you hand your card to a server, you trust they are going to take it directly to a machine, swipe it and return it.  Some people aren't so lucky.  Anyway, its the chance a person takes.  The conversation was regarding service.  And who you should tip and who you shouldn't, etc.

And the conversation was interesting until this biotch called in and made me want to reach through the phone and throttle her.

She was a nurse.  Who wanted Dwyer and Michaels to know that even though she provides a service, she does not have a tip jar on her nurses station.  She is just doing her job.  And that when she goes in and pays $6 for her Starbucks coffee, she does NOT TIP this person, BECAUSE they are making minimum wage and doing their job.  Why should she tip someone to do their job especially after her extremely expensive coffee..and that anyone who is making minimum wage is making ENOUGH that tips are not necessary.  She makes exceptions for people who are not making minimum wage, but that depends on where.  No one at McDonalds needs tipped because they are just standing there doing their jobs.

Here is what is incredibly wrong with this human being.

1-Stop drinking expensive coffee and make the shit yourself if you think the price you are paying is so high because it's only  "covering" your service.  It's expensive because you are drinking the most expensive coffee.  Get it at the gas station you idiot if you don't give a shit about your quality.

2-I am happy you are a nurse, saving lives and whatnot and that you were smart enough and dedicated enough to become one.  Your hourly wage is no where comparable to the "minimum wage" you speak of, so shut your face before you say anything more stupid.  Is it your fault that these people are doing minimum wage jobs and should you have to suffer because of it or pay more because of it.  No you idiot, you are paying for a service.

3-Do you even know what minimum wage is right now?  Would you do your job for less than what you are doing it now because well, the country is hurting ma'am can you take a pay cut?

4-Those minimum wage jobs and the people that work at them, make the freaking world go round.  Unless you are looking for a serviceless society where you can do everything yourself.  If everyone had the desire, drive and intelligence you did, who would serve you your coffee ma'am?  Those jobs aren't just filled by people who have no brains.  They are single mothers working 3 jobs, or kids putting themselves through school, or God knows what, but regardless of what life path got them to the damn counter at that gas station or wherever, who the hell are you to judge?  Congratulations to you for making "something" of yourself.

Service is service is service is service.  All tipping is left to your discretion.  Tip or don't tip, I cannot control whether you do or not.  There are some places where tipping is standard protocol.  Some where it is not.  If someone does a good job or helps me or whatever and it is not a place that ordinarily you would tip someone, I will hand them a tip directly.  I know that we all make our own decisions about who we tip and how much and with the fact that very few people carry cash these days, tips ARE HARDER to come by.

Just please don't stand there and say that you refuse to tip someone who is being paid minimum wage to do their job.

Everyone should be required by law to work with the general public and provide customer service.  If you did you would have a better appreciation of what it takes to put up with the bullshit like this.  And you would realize that it is a considerably underpaid position.  Any position serving the public is.  And most of the times these people are required to smile and be polite and care and take your crap.  Funny how these minimum wage people can do that, but you go to the Department of Motor Vehicles (were the pay is quite nice,) and they are assholes...and really in bad moods all the time.

So I guess my point is before you judge a minimum wage employee based on their pay and their responsibilities how bout you judge them based on how nice they were and your service.

I've Outgrown You...

What makes you read this blog?  Is it the title?  Is it word of mouth?  Is it the Facebook notice?  The content?

If you read my stats page you would see that the majority of the blogs read are either ones that cause controversy or ones that are pretty heartfelt...my letter to Bella, my book about Molly, etc.  So if you are the writer of the blog you would basically see that people either want you to start shit, or make them cry.  

Well, I am not always able to do that.  I generally only "start shit" if its something I feel passionate about.  And there are a couple things that I am extremely passionate about, but I don't feel like "going there?"  For instance religion.  The President.  Sexuality.  Raising children.  Etc.  But interestingly enough they are the ones that people want to read.

I do not consider myself a pot stirrer...I guess some people may think I am, but I do not see that in myself.  I know a lot of people that are, but I do not see that in me.  Now, before you say I am stereotyping, I do not think all "pot stirrers" are doing it to "start shit."  Does that make sense?  Sometimes people start something just to get a conversation going about something.  I would say most pot stirrers have intentions of getting a whole bunch of people pissed off at one another.  But not always.  Anyway, I try to steer clear of those types.  Mostly because 99% of the time that crap isn't any of my business either.  

But really this blog is about one thing and one thing only.  And all that rubbish before was just filler I guess, because these two things are not even really related.  I want to pose a question.  

What do you do when you outgrow someone?  Most importantly, someone you consider a friend.

Now.  Hang on.  I don't mean, you grow up, you go your separate ways, one of you has children, the other does not, one works full time, the other is a full time mom kind of outgrow.  I am not even talking about when you realize a friend doesn't share your same beliefs anymore or never really did.  I am talking about when you look at someone, someone you have called a friend, for no matter how long.  Someone you hung out with, partied with, dined with, vacationed with, road tripped with, whatever...it doesn't matter how long you have known each other or how much you have done together.  But when you look at a person and say to yourself, self, this person no longer fits or fills my needs.

Have you ever outgrown someone?  Is it just me?  This is kind of a hard thing to explain.  But you look at a person and you think what they are bringing to the table is something you no longer want, need or desire?  I don't know that either one actually changed, but something changed.  For example, I know that some people choose to not be around certain people when they are drunk.  I for one used to be a really obnoxious drunk.  I will gladly admit it and so would others.  But I also drank to cope.  With whatever.  It was for all the wrong reasons.  I am not saying for instance that you are having a party and you say oh, I can't invite so and so because they will get out of control, yada yada yada.  I am saying you look at this human being and when they speak, it's like nails on a chalkboard.  Sometimes when they breathe.  And why?  Was it always that way and you never paid attention?  Was there a turning point?

Regardless of what caused the outgrowing, what do you do?  Do you just ignore them?  Do you tell them?  Do you just remove yourself from their lives?  I really want to know.  And I know we have all experienced this at some point in our lives.  

So...what do you do?