This House Believes

For as long as I can remember, my mother had a sign that hung all year long, on our fireplace I think, that said, “This House Believes.”  The sign was for Christmas and Santa obviously, but it never got taken down…I do not really recall when my Mom started leaving “Christmas” decorations out all year but it eventually happened and they just became like all of the other decorations, old reliables…things that didn’t change with her mood…which could be loons, (yes the water fowl,) to country, to modern country, to penguins…you get the idea…there was a theme that changed with her whimsical moods…but one thing never did change…and that was the “This House Believes” sign.

The first Christmas my parents were separated was probably one of the worst ones of my life.  And I believed in nothing.  And I mean nothing.  My heart was breaking for both of them, all of us.  Faith Hill’s song, “Where are you Christmas,” (yes the one from The Grinch) played on an endless loop in my head.  Separate Christmas’ at our age?  This is nuts!  This house believes in crap.  And then, just when I thought it could not get worse, it got so much worse.  Our first Christmas without our father alive.  That Christmas took the cake.  I stopped believing in a lot of things.

There is something that you need to understand about a Cubs fan.  They never stop believing.  And they love the underdog.  And they fight for the little guy.  And they stand up to bullies, because Cub fans have been bullied their whole lives.  Lovable losers just like their team.  Sentimental favorites if for no other reason, they are so pathetic you have to feel sorry for them.  If you stand there and try to tell me differently, I will tell you to stop talking because all of the above is true.  I know of no other sports team in the world with such devoted fans.  Who in their right mind enjoys constantly losing and losing over and over and over and over?  Cubs fans do…because guess what, there was/is always next year.  WE BELIEVED.

First and foremost, whatever the outcome of the 2016 World Series, when the Chicago Cubs earned their right to play in this game, I witnessed something that has never happened as long as I have been alive, and almost that many years before that.  I am about to get candid here if you didn’t already expect that from me.  Here goes…

·        Shut up.  Honest to God shut the Hell up if you are not cheering for the Chicago Cubs tonight, or any night.  Honestly, no one who is cheering for them gives a shit if you are not.  And we do not need you to cheer for them, for us to enjoy the game.  If you don’t want to cheer for your division don’t, but no one cares and I mean no one.  Unless you are a Cleveland Indians fan, and honestly, I don’t know any, but then you should be cheering for them.

·        I don’t give a flying FRICK how many rings you have.  I think they are gaudy and ridiculous.  And I have never measured a man by how many diamonds he has.  Bragging rights, yes, you have earned them.  You did not earn the privilege of shoving them down my throat.

·        Cubs fans will not burn the city of Chicago down as so many of you are hoping for.  They should however make it a state holiday if they do win.  Just saying.

·        History was made by them getting here.  Again, if History is not your thing, I don’t need to hear about it.  Maybe you should direct your focus on math or science, but I am going to sit in this moment in time for as long as I can.  (Preferably only 4 games and preferably the outcome will be favorable.)

·        Making fun of those of us who shed genuine heartfelt tears over this speaks volumes about you, not me.  I enjoy having a heart and showing it.  I live out loud.  Go back to your rocks and crawl back under them.

·        There are a lot of people I love and have loved for my whole life, who are St. Louis Cardinals fans.  Kudos.  I love anyone who BELIEVES in anything.  I don’t care.  I am not.  Never will be.  I know you will never be a Cubs fan.  Doesn’t mean I stop loving you, nor does it mean you remind me that you are.  You BELIEVE what you want to BELIEVE.

·        The Chicago Cubs team that is playing in the World Series that starts tonight has given me something to BELIEVE in again.  Don’t take that away from me with your cocky, arrogant rendition of how many World Series’ you have won.  I don’t care.  I never have.  And I cheered for you when you went.  So you can’t cheer for them because your religion (the Church of Baseball) forbids you?  Great…I find it ironic that your religion doesn’t forbid you to remind us all of this fact.  But that is the thing about religion isn’t it?  We don’t all have to believe in the same things.

·        I am thanking God, Buddha, baby Jesus, the Dalai Lama, the earth shifting its access, global warming, the Pope, my father, Trumps hair, Harry Carey…whoever the hell is responsible for this happening, because it has made this joke of an election seem like yesterday’s news. 

·        Stop comparing this to that one team, or that one time.  It has never happened before in most of our lives, so we cannot compare it to anything, and I mean ANYTHING.

·        Lastly, if you cannot be happy for this team and you cannot be happy for me just being happy, then please just go away.  I mean that in the sweetest most sincerest of ways.  Find me after it is over and so help me God if we do lose, do not say to me that you knew they couldn’t do it, because so help me God, I will punch you in your face.  And I have never punched anyone.

I told Kristina the other day that other than marrying her, there is nothing on this earth I want more than this.  I meant it.  Nothing.  We get asked a lot, (Cubs fans, not Kristina and I,) how we can cheer for a losing team, year after year after year after year.  Because we are not like you that is why.  Nothing hurts us more than when we lose, trust that.  But we accept it and move on and BELIEVE that we will probably win the next game.  We lose a lot so we are genuinely excited and have no expectations; we are just insane with joy that it happened.  Why would someone want to take that away from us?  We got here.  We made it to the “ship!” Let us have this moment and all of these moments.  You don’t have to like it or go along with it or even care about it, but if you don’t, leave it at that.  Just leave it.

All season long my mother has text us and text us one word and one word only.  BELIEVE.  She and Terry watched every game pretty much from start to finish.  I cannot say the same, because when I did they would lose and that made me sad, so I just didn’t watch them.  I only have one thing to say before tonight’s game and one thing only.  I BELIEVE.  And really when it gets down to it, isn’t that what all Cubs fans feel like?  We just BELIEVE.  Believe with us or do not, it matters not to me.  But I can finally say, in regards to my own house…THIS HOUSE BELIEVES.

I wrote a letter to Santa when I was 8 I think, that went like this.  The significance of this letter is that nothing really has changed.  I am still just a girl who’s best team is the Cubs.

  

So here is my letter to Santa this year. 

Dear Santa,

It is almost Christmas and this year I want a new refrigerator, ours is too small for 2 adults and 3 teenage boys who eat like 6 more adults.

I work with paints and brushes, so I don’t need any of those this year.

I really like football and baseball still.  My two best teams are the Cubs and the Bears.   The Bears are awful this year.  However, you probably already know that the Cubs are in the World Series, so what I really want for Christmas is for them to win it.  But if they don’t that is ok too because they will still always be one of my best teams.

I never thought I would get to write a letter to you at my age.  I am 44 years old and am working full time, all my school is done.

I have a lot of friends.  Period.

Well, good bye.

Your friend, Tiffany Buckman

P.S. Santa?  I BELIEVE.