Thursday, December 12, 2013

Just. Say. It...

Click the link. You know you want to. 

When was the last time you took a good hard look at the way you treat people?

Are you a good friend? Are you a good person? 

I ask this because after the loss of my father people fade. You fade. You are different when you lose something. Who understands that better than someone who's lost someone/something? Hell no you will never be the same person. Do you want to be? What do you learn? How did you learn it?

This is what I have learned and only ME. I, being the most nonjudgemental person I know, judges. I'm not happy about it. At all. But I do. And it needs to stop. I don't mean the way most people think...race, color, religion, sexual preference...none of those things have ever, ever mattered to me. Ever. Not because of who I am either. The only thing that has ever mattered was how a person has treated me. Period. 

Who gives a flying shit who your parents were, or are? My whole life it was assumed mine were wealthy. Funny. Should have seen how many Swanson pot pies I had to swallow in my lifetime. And thank God Marie Callendar came through and changed children's lives forever. My point is....we weren't. Wealthy. Never have been. We all had jobs at 14-15 years old.  My point is I've been judged my whole life. Because of my last name. My sexuality. My whatever. Stop it. Everyone. Be a good friend or do not be one at all. Of course we were all raised different. Different circumstances. Different people. 

If you spend a good portion of your time demeaning someone, perhaps without even knowing you are doing it, STOP. Forget walking a mile in someone's shoes. Try to walk a mile in your own. Without looking at who else's shoes look, feel better, or cost more. Just don't. 
Just freaking walk. 

Hardest thing to do. Walk in your own shoes? Don't think so? Try doing so without analyzing another person place or thing.  Not easy. But when you do? It gets easier to breathe. Death has changed me. Life has changed me. I've been absent from a lot of people's lives since my fathers death. I didn't disappear. Well kind of. But I've been learning. Learning what it means to be a true person. Authentic. I thought I was before. I wasn't even close. 

I'm sorry. To any of you I have avoided. Or neglected. Or forgot. I just needed to be with me. 

I miss my father. Some days more than I will ever share with another living being including Brodie. So. Do me a favor? Be a better person. Be a better friend. Yes life is short. But you have one chance. So just damn say what you need to say. Please. 

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