On the day before my 43rd birthday, I started on a journey that I would have never dreamed I would have started on. In fact, if I would have been able to bet against myself, I would have taken that bet. I lacked the discipline that this journey was going to require. I didn’t believe in the possible positive outcomes that had been presented to me. I couldn’t conceive that anyone in their right mind would start such a journey in the first place, certainly not me. It was almost maniacal to think someone would CHOOSE to do this.
Let me start by telling you how much I used to love beer. If you read that sentence correctly, you will realize I said used to. I don’t know if I still love beer, or if I ever will again. I loved the way it tastes. I loved what it represented socially, because although there was a time I probably drank beer at home alone, for the past couple years or so, 97% of my drinking had been socially. I went to Church faithfully and if you know me at all, you know my Church was not a house of God. I am not sure that I did anything as good as I could drink a few beers with friends.
That being said, I also loved wine. And food. And pairing food with wine. Again, if you know anything about me, you know I pride myself in being a fairly good cook. I had a very eclectic palate and pretty much loved just about all foods. Not sweet potatoes or beets though. And that hasn’t changed.
I met Dr. Rita at The Path in Galesburg a couple years ago; maybe it hasn’t even been that long. My Sister had taken Bella to see her and I am not entirely sure how they heard about her, but they loved her philosophy. The Path is what I would call a holistic healing center. Dr. Rita is a Chiropractor. When I began my relationship with her, I was not in the best of places, but I was working on it. I was talking to a counselor about my anger over my father’s death. I was trying to find outlets to deal with my emotions as well as my poor health, that I attribute 100% to inactivity and sitting on my butt for my job. (I lost a lot of weight owning a bar, which sounds surprising, but I never sat down.)
Sick and tired of being sick and tired, I began training with the couch to 5K program. I wanted to run a 5k by Christmas. I made it 4 weeks into the program before I had to stop. I had another tumor in my foot and it was causing my gait to go wonky, so running became not comfortable to do and it was desperately killing my back. It wasn’t worth it to lose the weight. I felt defeated, pissed, angry…every time I set my mind to something; something came and made sure I couldn’t complete it.
I got back into my usual routines of self-loathing and inactivity because it is comfortable there…Sister recommended I go see Dr. Rita for my back pain, because aside from her chiropractic expertise she had some pretty strong feelings about what food was doing to our bodies and Sister thought I would enjoy what she had to say. Also that she was very into the mind/body healing mantra and Sister knows how much I hate the medical profession, so she thought it would be right up my alley; holistic health. I was very big in to it in my former healthy life; it would make sense to get back in it again.
I thoroughly enjoyed my treatments and felt some immediate relief. The things she wanted me to focus on, things I already knew I should be focusing on, were somehow easier with a guide. Like, take better care of myself. Get more sleep, reduce stress, etc. That last one is the hardest thing to do ever. But we began a relationship that would ultimately change my life. I started taking Vitamin D and probiotics and just overall became a happier person.
That was until this past winter, when I caught some sort of demonic virus from the depths of hell. Seriously wanting to die by self-inflicted having a car run me over, it took me weeks to get well…I believe it was 40 some days that I was consistently feeling like death. I had somehow managed to get a virus that no one at work hard or my family. I dropped again into my self-loathing routine and became a walking ball of pain. So much pain. But I refuse to take pain pills, so I lived with it and became a very angry human being again and also because Dr. Rita thought she should take maternity leave in the middle of my 15th mid-life crisis.
I will try to condense the rest of this story, since I have obviously been dragging on with how I arrived where I did on June 7th.
Dr. Rita is a strong believer in food is medicine. Raw, whole foods in their natural state. She had this program she had been asking me to try, kind of from the minute I met her, although she did have some other goals with me first, her Purification program was brought up frequently. When I found out what it was, I laughed and said good luck. There was no earthly way I would conceive of participating in it. I loved food and I loved beer. And I was not going to give them up. This conversation would go on between us for quite some time. Over a year.
About a month before my 43rd birthday, when I was explaining to her that I wasn’t sleeping, that I was irritable, that I was in constant pain, she basically said in not these exact words, “you need to try the Purification program, it is the only thing I have asked you to do, that you have not done.” For some ungodly reason I said FINE. That I was not going to like it and I will be your worst patient ever. I will make you miserable. And we cannot start until after my vacation to Indiana with my family because I know copious amounts of beer are going to be drank and I don’t want to miss it. Well, when can you start? Well, June is not the best month, but I guess it is as good as any, because if you talk to me about this anymore, I will talk myself out of it. Completely and totally. My birthday is June 8th. I love my birthday. But it is on a Monday this year and I do not like Mondays, however Monday is good day to start something you don’t think you will survive.
The 21 Day Standard Process Purification Program is exactly that. 21 days. 21 Days of only fruits and vegetables (twice as many as fruit), shakes and filtered water. ½ your body weight in ounces in water. The shakes can only be made with filtered water.
No dairy.
No caffeine.
No meat.
No sugar.
No grains.
No gluten.
No nuts.
No ALCHOHOL.
Of course I wondered what day I would die from starvation. And it is true, you pretty much wonder during the first 5 days, which day it will be that you meet your demise.
So with that being said, on June 7th, 2015 I started the 21 day cleanse.
I can write more about the 21 day cleanse and what I ate and how I survived if anyone wants to know, but I didn’t tell a lot of people about it initially because I didn’t think I would succeed. Honest to God I did not. At best I thought I would cheat. The first five days I wanted eggs and cheese so bad it hurt to even think about them. How on earth could I live on nothing but fruits and vegetables in their purest form. Organic when possible even. And nothing to drink but water. Filtered water.
The whole premise behind this is to remove the toxins from your body that were caused by eating processed foods. Toxins that cause inflammation, irritability, insomnia, gas, bloating, muscle aches and pains, running nose, constantly feeling like you have allergies, the list is very long. To clean out the liver, your stomach, etc. To remove waste. Many many many years of waste. To eat and taste food in its purest form before our world changed it and added, well additives to make it taste better. Additives that are basically killing us. Additives that I don’t think existed when our grandparents were growing up. I mean my Great Grandmother lived to be 100 and she ate fried bologna every day.
For 21 days you eat nothing but fruits and vegetables and drink filtered water. You can eat these pretty much any way you want, just not cooked in the microwave. You drink two shakes a day, which are not meal replacements, but can be used as snacks, and those shakes include whole food fiber. You can put whatever fruit and veggies you want in them, but I am telling you now, they still taste like grass. You are allowed good oils, like EVOO and Coconut to cook with or mix in the shakes. You can include some Quinoa and some lentils in moderation with your vegetables. You can use most any spice you want as long as it is in its truest form as well.
This is not a diet. It’s not a passing fad. It’s a true cleanse. And not in the sense that you better be close to a bathroom cleanse but a complete body and mind detoxification. Everything we eat, every single day, is our diet. So all of us have a diet, but we are not ON A DIET. Until you believe that or get that through your head, it won’t work. This is why I could not have done this one minute before I was ready. If you change or alter your diet for a period of time and then go back to doing things the way you did before the alteration, then yes, I guess you can say, you were on a diet…but until you decide your diet is daily, every choice you make, then things like this just don’t work.
My primary focus was not to do this to lose weight; otherwise I would be severely disappointed if I didn’t do well or succeed. This is coming from someone who has not physically looked at the # on a scale since maybe 1998. However, at the beginning of this I went and bought my first scale ever. Because something told me this was going to be something I would do a lot longer than 21 days. And something told me I would need to monitor it to make myself a believer.
I have lost 10 pounds. I only weigh once a week and that is on Sunday mornings. Yes, I desperately needed to lose weight but I needed an attitude adjustment far more than I needed to lose weight.
I love food. I love all food. I love all ethnicities of foods. But food was killing me.
In closing, I want to finish with what I have learned in 21 days.
I can survive on only fruits and vegetables. And yes I still miss eggs.
Water has become my friend. And lots of it.
I love Kosher Sea Salt and Cracked Pepper, more than I ever dreamed I could.
Brodie loves vegetables. ADORES THEM.
I will reintroduce foods and beer back in my diet and I will probably not like it. And I am perfectly fine with that! I had some beer today and I don't enjoy the way it's made me feel.
I intend in a year to be the best version of myself I've ever been. This was a lifestyle change. And not a fleeting joke.
I had the discipline I couldn't conceive of. It was always right there. It was buried under a lot of toxic crap. But it was there.
And lastly I believe in me again. And it's been a really long time since I've felt that.
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