You are not better than me...

You are not better than me.

Just like hating something is a learned behavior, so too is learning that people are sometimes just shitty ass human beings.  I am not talking about murderers, rapists, child abusers, etc. that is an entirely different classification of people…subhuman’s I like to call them.

What I mean is that we are not born with hate or even knowing what it means.  Everything is taught to us, shown to us, or we learn through experience.  And sometimes through process of elimination we also learn to dislike things.  Take lima beans for instance.  Mom served them, not often, but she did.  Father liked them.  No one ever told me to hate lima beans, and I wouldn't even say I HATE them, hate is a strong word, but I strongly dislike them.  I would never fix them.  I will eat them in a soup if it’s full of other stuff…but lima beans and kidney beans; I have a problem with these beans.  I am a pretty open and equal opportunity eater, so no one TOLD ME I was supposed to like them or not, I tried them, I didn't like them.  I am happy with this decision and can live with it. 

People?  People on the other hand, a little tougher to dissect then vegetables and I don’t mean literally.  Especially for me, because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and even then, after I have allowed them a second chance or whatever, they usually disappoint me or let me down again and so I am a sucker for second chances etc.  People are not as clear cut for me as vegetables.  I am around a lot of people, not often, but enough.  Some I can take with a grain of salt, some I don’t care for, some I adore and love…it is life.  I always try to remember that it’s my choice.   Some make me uncomfortable, some I barely even know they are there, you know what I mean?  Like I wouldn't go to a party and hang around a bunch of people I am uncomfortable around, but I have been places where people are around but I don’t really or am not really affected by them.  Hopefully that makes sense.  Where am I going with this? 

Life in general teaches us many lessons.  Hopefully you get to be around people who embrace your individuality and allow you to grow through trial and error.  Try the damn lima beans and if you don’t like them, fine, but at least you tried…that goes with anything in life.  Just try.  Try to get along with a friends significant other or a co-worker you can’t really stand…I mean in some situations you have to bite it and do what you don’t want to do because it makes life easier.  I will not go so far as to PRETEND I like someone when I don’t.  I will tell you and then we can be around each other without any of that wondering…if a bunch of friends are going out and someone I am not fond of will also be going, I have a choice.  Go and deal with it, or don’t go and miss out…regardless it’s a choice.   

What lesson cannot be taught though is how shitty a human can actually be.  People will lie.  People will break your heart.  People will use you.  This is something you have to learn and usually the hard way.  When a person judges me for instance, based on my sexuality or political party, etc., I actually do not immediately dislike them.  I pity them.  I mean I genuinely feel bad for anyone who judges another human being.  Because a person generally judges another based on their own personal insecurities or lack of understanding.  I am old enough now to understand that.  What I will not pity nor will I ever understand, but I have had to learn as that some people just plain suck. 

Let’s make one thing clear.  You are not better than me.  Because you are you and I am me.  I don’t care if you can do a cart-wheel and I can’t.  I don’t care if you make more money than me.  I don’t care if you are Nobel Peace Prize winner.  You are not me.  So there is no way in hell, you can be better then something you are not.  And that is how I TREAT EVERY SINGLE HUMAN I MEET.  Or interact with.  I could never be a better parent then my sister; I would simply be the parent I am to my children.  No parent should compare themselves to anyone.  Can someone do my job better than I do it?  I am positive of that.  But they cannot do it the way I do it. 

Because of this, when I owned my own business, it was not above me to cook, to wait tables, to bartend.  Moreover it was not above me to take out the trash, scour the toilets, clean up vomit, sweep the floor, and dump the grease.  My first job, half of my day was spent cleaning sweat off of exercise equipment, folding towels and washing sweaty work-out clothes for people who made more money in a month than I would ever see in my lifetime.  My point is and maybe I am not like most people, but it is the biggest way to get me to respect you or lose respect for you.  None of us are so damn better than anyone else that they cannot be bothered with those menial things.  Because nothing is menial, it all means something.  The CEO of every company is only as good as the people that work for him or her.  Because they damn sure aren’t doing the day to day “menial” tasks that these people are doing.  No one is a peon.  That era left a long, long time ago.  But I sure as hell have a lot more respect for the CEO who started his job cleaning the bathroom or sorting the mail…he earned it.  Like respect.  It’s earned.  It’s not learned.  It’s not expected.  It’s EARNED.  For me anyway. 

So one of the things that no one taught me (and my Mom taught me a lot,) is that some people are really just and always will be assholes, on the sole basis of thinking they are entitled or that someone owes them something.  Guess what you asshat, no one owes you anything, get it yourself.  And if you can’t get it yourself, you probably don’t need it.

I set up a test today.  And it was failed miserably.  MISERABLY.  Although I am not surprised, I am outraged.  Outraged because I would like to tar and feather anyone who thinks they are better than me or anyone else for that matter.  If you can be me and do a better job, by all means, but since you can’t, shut your pie hole.