The Truth Is...

Wow...it's been a long time since I have written my Blog.  The truth is, as normal, I only think of things I want to say or write about when I am laying in bed and can't sleep.

The other truth is I don't feel good.  I didn't want to blog about how rotten I feel or to be so transparent in my writing that everyone would see how depressed I have been.  And I have been.  And yes, I am taking meds to help with that.  Pain pills of any kind make me not a very nice person.  I don't enjoy taking them I don't enjoy needing to take them, but sometimes we find we have no other choice.

The days are going by quickly and yet standing still, if that makes any sense.  I have no recollection of how much time has passed and yet I know it is the middle of February.  It was a year ago almost exactly that I was having a neuroma removed from the same foot I just had operated on.  Small world.  Or whatever you want to call it.

My care takers are doing a great job.  It was a little shady early when I was receiving all my get well cards and they were just getting bills but those have since disappeared so they stopped bugging me about that.

I didn't imagine my trip to Mom's would be over 3 weeks long but it has been.  The truth is, I am walking without a cane but I look like a robot when walking.  It's easier with a cane and I still can't do steps.  I do not have any patience as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice before so this is killing me a little bit.  The truth is, a lot.  Their house is very small and I do have my privacy if I want to sit in the spare room all day but somehow I feel like I am intruding.  I haven't technically missed my real home yet because maneuverability around that house is not as easy as this one.  I feel out of place though and it wouldn't be the first time in 39 years.


Since I have broken my leg/ankle a lot has happened in the world.  Another state legalized Gay Marriage.  Adele swept the Grammy's (thank God, as I was personally on pins and needles.)  Whitney Houston died and the whole world won't rest until we know how.  I loved her, I did, I mean as much as anyone who's soundtrack to their youth included her would love her, but I agree with the posts on Facebook.  Everyday 1000 of lives are lost who get no attention because they aren't famous.  Another Valentines Day has passed, another Valentines Day single.  I am only slightly more obsessed with Pinterest than I was the last time I mentioned it, but I read an incredible article about it READ ME  and it's place in the social media world that really hit home as to why it has taken off.  We are sick and tired of hearing about each others problems.  Pinterest lets us talk about and post happy things.  Our hopes, our dreams...not who did us wrong, not who we hate, not gossiping about one another...I guess you could say, as the old saying goes, it gave us something "to pin our hopes to."  I have read 3 books.  I have had a few visitors...I am sure a lot more has happened but those are the things that stick out.  Oh and I filed my taxes and didn't get back as much as I wanted so I hate the government.  

I cannot articulate what I want to right now very well, so I will just leave it out of this blog.  The truth is, you find out who your friends are.  When anything happens to you.  Good or bad.  A very special thank you to everyone who has contacted me in some way shape or form to inquire about my well being.  I am still here, still plugging away, still angry that I am not more mobile.

I can feel that my real blog will be back to its normal self soon, I hope and maybe that is what I have needed to do all along was just write.

I can tell you that Brodie is with me, never leaves my side and knows when I am having a bad day.  He never leaves my lap.  If only that kind of unconditional love came in human form eh?  For now?  I have given up on love...I won't be able to find it until I am all well and in one piece again anyway, but it is a hard pill to swallow when you realize something that you thought really was, turns out not to be.  And I have previously mentioned I hate swallowing pills.

I hope this finds you all well.