Just don't get in white vans...

Holy long time NO BLOG.

Sorry bout that.  Must get better!

I have to get this one posted before it escapes me!

If you follow my Blog, you know I occasionally write about my "commute" to school to drop Dalton and Kolbie off.  Obviously school has only been in session for a few weeks and one of them I missed because of having surgery, so really, I haven't had a lot of car time with these gems.  But today...today I began the "pick up again."  And everyone should know how it went.

When I pulled into their driveway, I saw a little person standing under a tree on the other side of Brothers garage.  I initially thought well that is a strange place for a bus to pick a child up, but whatever.  Then it occurred to me that it may be neighbor Ian...and maybe Ian missed the bus, or his ride, or whatever.  No problem, I am taking these kids anyway.  In the back seat crawls Ian...

Me: Oh hey Ian, need a ride to school?
Ian: Yep.
Me: Ok then.  Well, good morning.
Ian: Good morning.
Me: Wonder where Dalton and Kolbie are?
Ian: I don't know, but I am ready for school
Me: Late as usual.  How's school Ian, do you like it?
Ian: It's good, I do like it.
Me: Who's your teacher.
Ian: Mrs. So and So...Kolbie also had her when she was in 2nd grade.
Me: (clueless) oh, is that right, well isn't that interesting.  Oh good, here they come.
Kolbie: Oh, hey Ian, what are you doing? (at this point I hope I am not kidnapping Ian and not being aware of it)
Ian: Going to school, what's it look like.
Kolbie: Well your hat is gay.
Ian: No it isn't, it's my brothers.  And it matches my shirt.
Kolbie: Yes, it's gay and it does not match your shirt.
Me: Kolbie, leave him alone, he looks fine, I can see the hat, but not his shirt, what shirt is it.
Ian: The one Miss Mathre ordered for the Ride
Kolbie: YEAH, THE ONE MY MOM SAID I DIDN'T NEED
Me: You don't, you have plenty of shirts, i didn't get one either
Dalton: Trust me she does have too many
Kolbie: Shut up Dalton you idiot, you don't know
Me: Dalton, (diversion) why do you have a Football helmet, I thought you stopped playing
Dalton: Uh yeah, that was so last week.  I changed my mind.
Me: When
Dalton: Last week
Me: Right, ok, well I was getting an organ removed and was a little under the weather.  I am so glad you guys called me to see if I was ok.
Dalton: We don't have phones
Ian: They do too have phones, I have seen them use them.
Kolbie: No we don't, they are broke.
Me: How did they break?  Dalton never leaves his room and usually you lose yours.
Dalton: She didn't lose it this time, she just threw it and broke it because it wasn't working.
Kolbie: Shut up jackass, no one asked you.
Me: Dear God, never mind, I think your mom said you would get your new ones tomorrow.  Try to take care of them.
Me: Dalton, I heard you went to the game Friday night with Bella and out for dinner.
Dalton: Yep.
Me: How was that?
Dalton: Eeeeeeeeeee, it was fun.
Ian: Wait a minute.  Bella is my brothers girlfriend, or she was.
Me: Sam?
Ian: Yeah
Me: I had no idea
Ian: Yeah, so how old is Dalton?
Me: Uhhh, 13.
Ian: Well my brother is 16
Me: Uhhh, ok, and Bella is 17, where we going with this Ian
Ian: Well she was with Dalton, that's weird
Me: Dalton and Kolbie are cousins Ian.  Her Mom and Dalton's Dad are brother and sister.
Ian: Weird if you ask me
Me: (to lady in the white van in front who is driving real slow), Lady, park it or sell it...I have kids to deliver and I am excited to get to work.
Ian: It looks like a van that carries artillery, she is probably transporting weapons
Dalton: Because you saw that on a video game
Kolbie: No it doesn't, it looks like a rapist, probably why she is driving slow, out looking to rape
Me: Dear God...you know to never get in any vehicle with a stranger, van or not, stranger danger
Kolbie: Duh, who the hell wants to get in a rapists van
Me: DON'T GET IN ANYONE'S VAN
Me: Oh, thank GOD look, we are finally at school
Kolbie: His shirt doesn't match his hat