Dear 16 Year Old Tiffany-
Run. Run now. And
hide. Life gets so much harder than you
think it is at this moment. No, don’t
run and hide, but my God I wish I could warn you about all the things that will
come your way.
Your first car will be a Grand Prix. You will love it for as long as you have it…which
won’t be very long. It will be followed
by a Silver Thunderbird. This also
doesn’t last long…which will eventually bring the car you are madly in love
with, your white Grand Am. You will have
a lot of fun in that little guy…and it will get you through college. It will be a very sad day when you trade this
in, but don’t worry about that; it will be several years from now.
Right now you are in love.
Your mother says you are not, that you cannot possibly be in love at the
age of 16. (The interesting thing is she
was in love at that age and it took her almost 40 years but she is now back
with her first love.) You have never felt
this way about anyone before. It’s the
first time that you realize what it means to be with someone who makes you feel
like you are “home.” He thinks you are
gay. You will do nothing to make him
think this, it is merely his feelings. This
devastates you. Crushes you and your
spirit. You are positive you are going
to die and you cry for days. He was
partially correct. You will learn this
in about 10 years. You will also learn
that for you, love knows know gender. The
majority of the world won’t accept that.
It will come a long way in your lifetime, but it will still have light
years to go, the world that is and its acceptance of all people. The last night you are together, the night he
breaks up with you, you will remember the clouds, the moon, the way the air
feels. You will remember telling him you
love him and his response being, “I know.” Still at the age of 39, you will remember what
those clouds looked like. You think he
is the last boy you will ever love. He
will definitely not be. And he definitely
will not be the last PERSON you ever love.
You know where you want to go to college and what for. And you will do it exactly the way you are
telling everyone you are going to do it.
You are in love with Minnesota and you will spend some
amazing years of your life there, however you already know this.
Your best friends right now, Michelle and Michelle, will
continue to be very dear friends of yours.
They will go off and get married and have babies and careers but when
you get together, and you will, several times, you will laugh as if no days
have passed.
Your parents talk about divorce. This crushes you, but I wish I could tell you
that it would have been so much better for them and you if they did this now
instead of when they finally decide to do it.
It is very ugly.
Your arthritis gets really bad around this time and starts
affecting you in a multitude of ways.
You feel 80 years old. Every
single day. Your mom comes in your room
every morning and rubs your hands and feet so they can move. It is and will remain the only thing you
loved about having to get up and go to school.
I want you to know it gets better, it really does. You will always feel old. And for several years you will actually be
pain free. It will ebb and flow and it
will rear its ugly head several more times in your life and it will get more
difficult the older you get. When you
are quite a bit older they will suggest you have Lupus and probably have for a
very long time. You won’t have any
insurance at this time so you won’t be able to pursue it, because even if you
do, there is nothing that can be done to fix it.
Your sister will marry the boy she kisses in 6th
grade. For some reason you always knew
that they would be together forever.
What you do not know is that they will have two children who will light
up your life. And you don’t know that
when your niece is herself 16 and going through the normal emotional turmoil
that 16 year olds go through, that you will sit back and think, Dear God I am
so glad I am not that age again. Your brother
will also get married and have two children, who will also touch your life in
profound ways. And you will wish that
you can hide all 4 of them from the real cruel world that it is. The bullying that takes place right now in
your world, is nothing compared to the way kids are going to treat one another
in the future and it sucks.
This is the age that you will begin working. And you will work the rest of your life. You have no clue the variety of jobs that you
will have, but you will love them all for very different reasons, be it the
experience it brings you, the people it brings in your life, or the places they
will allow you to see.
You don’t know at this age that you will visit both
coasts. You will visit the Caribbean on
more than one occasion. You will also
live in Hawaii for a few weeks. I know
you cannot believe this now, but you will.
This would make you extremely happy because you also want to be a travel
agent at this age.
The heart breaks that you have experienced up till now, will
be nothing compared to the way your heart will break when you get older. People are going to disappoint you. People are going to hurt your feelings. People are going to say terrible things about
you. Friends and family included. You are going to lose people you love, to
death and just because they stopped loving you back. Cancer will affect you. In very big ways. You will not have children. There will be times this makes you very happy
and moments when you are alone that it makes you very sad. You will have two pets, not at the same time. A boy and a girl. Same breed of dog. And they will both have special needs. It is just the way God planned it.
You will meet amazing people on the way. And some really not so amazing people. What you do and what you say will have a huge
impact on people’s lives. You will teach
classes, you will speak to large audiences, you will train people and you will
manage people and you will be managed.
You will give 110% to every endeavor you encounter. Especially your relationships. You treat people exactly the way you want to
be treated and exactly how they treat you.
You are hard on yourself now and it will get so much
worse. I wish I could tell you to GET
THE HELL OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY. “Just be”…but
you like to plan too much. You go above
and beyond ALWAYS and somehow always get disappointed when the same is not
reciprocated. You want people to be
better than some are capable of being.
You do now and you always will.
It is something you wish you could change now and will REALLY wish you
could change later.
You are beautiful.
You will never, ever, ever see this about yourself, and I wish you could
see yourself as others see you but no one really does, so this isn’t just
exclusive to you personally. But you
take everything personally even if it has nothing to do with you.
It is going to get complicated. Life. You will laugh and you will cry. A lot.
You will lose a lot of sleep and you will actually run your own
business. You will be in debt for a long
time, but you wouldn’t change any of it if it meant you had to give up
experiences along the way to prevent that.
What I mostly want to tell you is that shortly before your
40th birthday you will be very confused. About a lot of things. Not who you are and what you believe in, just
where your life is at. You will give
more than you receive at this time and you will need to take a few steps back
and set up some boundaries so as to prevent you from losing yourself, which you
will do several times along the way before now, but it will be harder at this
age because you are truly ready to settle down and start some roots. Just breathe Tiff. Seriously.
Take a deep breath and sigh. You
cannot change things you cannot control.
If you feel like you have no control now at 16, hang on to your
seat. It is going to be a bumpy ride.
There is a saying that is quite popular as you get older…I
wish you could learn this now.
Don’t sweat the small stuff…and really, it is all just small
stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment