It's Raining Cats and Dogs...

My morning began with a text message from Kolbie stating that the Christmas Fart Wars had begun.  How could you not laugh?  She rarely texts me…but when she does, it’s a good one.  However her phone signature when she texts says, “I know what you did last summer…” When asked why, she said “isn’t it fun to make people wonder what they did last summer?”  Yep, she is 10.  Unfortunately I was running late this morning because I wanted to stand in the shower all morning…man it felt good.

Phone rings…Sister: Yeah, you working today?  Me: Yeah, why? Sister: I’ve been in the driveway for 3 minutes and haven’t seen you.  I will just go get the kids first.  Me: Uh yeah, good idea.  20 seconds later horn blows…

Me: I had no idea it was raining so hard.  Sister: It’s been raining cats and dogs all night!  I love it, thunder in December!  Me: Yeah, and my morning started with Fart Wars!  Kolbie: That was from me!  Me: I know, are you in a really good mood today?  Sister: She hasn’t stopped talking since I picked her up, she was supposed to get up at 6, but she just couldn’t.  Me: Did you lie on the register too long this morning?  I stayed too long in the shower, it felt so good.  Kolbie: Yes, I did. 

Sister: Look at the radar, its pouring buckets out here.  Me: It looks like night time.  Sister: That’s exactly what Dalton said, and that we should just go back home and go back to bed.  Kolbie: If mom was taking us to school, we would be back home already, she doesn’t drive in the rain, only my Dad knows how.  Sister: But the thunder and lightning is cool, for December.  It’s raining so hard I might let you guys out at the doors in the back and you can walk through the school.  Kolbie: NO, I CAN’T WALK THROUGH THE HIGH SCHOOL.  Dalton: It is okay, I will walk with you Kolbie, Adam is eating breakfast right now, that’s all.  Whatever that meant…Dalton: I don’t think we are allowed to go through those doors though.  Sister:  Bull crap, Papa Jim was on the school board 100 years ago, if they have a problem, they can take it up with him.  Whatever that meant…

Me: My radar says light rain (its pouring.) Dalton: Light rain my ass.  It looks like it did that one day.  Kolbie: Yeah that day you got hit by a car.  Its even lightning on the river just like it did that day too.  See, there it goes.  Me: Yeah, I don’t think we should let them out in this Sister; Dalton doesn’t do well with rain and parking lots.  Dalton: YEAH, that day I needed a lighthouse light and a GPS just to get to the car.  Me:  We are so lucky you didn’t break your hip Dalton or something worse.  Actually the girl that hit you is so lucky your mom and dad didn’t put her in jail.  Dalton: Or at the very least, sued her ass.

Dalton: Kolbie, whatever you do, don’t go running in the gym with wet shoes and try to jump for the net.  You’ll land on your ass and mine hasn’t quit hurting since that one time when I tired it.  Me: (Trying not to laugh, but tears are falling out my face.) Sister: Oh yes, no running with wet shoes.  Look it’s letting up.  (As it begins to start pouring.)  Where do you guys want me to let you off?  Dalton: Yeah, check that radar that obviously isn’t working.  There are kids getting off here, this is fine, I don’t think we are allowed in the other way.  Kolbie:  Yeah, they are getting wet, we can do it.  Sister: For God’s sake don’t run!