Friday, December 9, 2011

Glad I am not a Scientist...



Me: Good Morning Little People!  How are we today?  Dalton where the hell is your sister?  Dalton: She is coming.  I’m good.  Kolbie comes out with the cutest hat ever!!!!  Me: Good morning!  Kolbie: Ehhh.  Me: Damn, I wish you would be happy in the morning.  Kolbie:  Well it’s not ever going to happen.  Me: Right…that is sad. 

Me: Dalton James, guess what your Aunt Dee Dee saw on the way home from work last night.  A Pterodactyl.  She hit her brakes and covered my chest in protection and everything.  Dalton: Not possible.  Me: How do you know?  Where are you getting your scientific information?  Dalton: Uh, there would be stuff on the news, and have you heard of any?  It was probably an Eagle.  Me: Well, you should call her and tell her because she swears it was a dinosaur.  It had a big wing span.  It covered the whole window.  Dalton: Scientists did find a dinosaur fossil somewhere recently with a wing span of 17 feet.  Me: Holy crap that is a big bird.  I think Aunt Dee Dee saw its brother last night.  Dalton:  They are extinct, it’s not possible.  Me:  Whatever, YOU tell her that. 

Me: If I had to be a dinosaur I would want to be a Pterodactyl just because it is so fun to say.  What would you be?  Dalton: A megosauraus.  Me: I don’t even know what the heck is.  Dalton: Bigger than a T-Rex. Me: Are you sure, I thought he was the biggest.  Dalton: Oh hell no, there are many larger than him.  Like the Brontosaurus.  He was longer and had a bigger body (and some other stuff I stopped listening to.) Kolbie: I want to be that dinosaur that swam in the ocean.  Me: What was that called?  Kolbie: I have no idea.  Me: Whale? Dalton: What kind?  Me: I don’t know, I suppose it had some ridiculous name.  Dalton: Whales were here before dinosaurs?  Me: You know this how, were you there?  Dalton: Duh, the world was covered in water. The dinosaurs came later. 

Me: Yeah well I think there are other planets with life on them.  Dalton: Oh hell yes.  The galaxy is too big for us to be stupid enough to think we are the only living creatures in it.  Me:  Yeah, like the punk who claims Pluto is not a planet.  Dalton: No SHIT!  What the hell is it then?  An asteroid?  No, it’s not made up of the right material.  It’s not a star either.  Me: I just don’t know if I should trust you, since you weren’t there and all, I think you are just making stuff up.  Dalton: Uh, don’t you think that is what all scientists do?  Guess? Half the time they don’t know which way is right or which way is left.  Me: Like a weather man… Dalton: Yeah, I think scientists are probably just weatherman who couldn’t do that job very well.

Me thinking: This is entirely too much intellectual conversation before I have coffee.  Ok well, this has been a fun, learning ride.  Have a great day at school!  I love you.  Dalton: Love you.  Kolbie: Growling, Love you.  Dalton: KOLBIE, be careful getting out of the car, it’s very slick.  Me thinking: Oh my God he does love his sister. 
  

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