The Heart of Christmas

We know that I hate cancer.  We know that I specifically hate childhood cancer.  We know that cancer has affected my life as it has probably many of yours.  It is currently affecting my little cousin Jett, who is 4 and battling leukemia (ALL.)  It is incredibly hard to follow his journey online especially the pictures of “before” they knew he had it.  Virtually watching cancer enter and invade his life.  Having no children of my own I personally cannot fathom how his mom and dad are dealing with it, except that I know they just have to.

If you are from our area you may or may not have followed the Dax Locke story; the little guy from Washington, Illinois who lost his battle with cancer.  I started following his story about half way through, so I don’t know a lot of the back story, but I know that through the power of Facebook and his CaringBridge Website, his story got to thousands of people.  The city of Washington, in an overwhelming show of support, stood behind this family in ways most people can’t imagine, actually the entire state of Illinois and the rest of the country, primarily because of the power of social networking.  It’s nice to see it used for good instead of evil. 

Last night the Rave theatre in Peoria hosted a special showing of the new movie The Heart of Christmas.  The movie is the Dax Locke story, also featuring Matthew West, a Christian singer/songwriter who wrote a song for them based on his story.  The movie was sponsored by The Children’s Hospital of Illinois, in Peoria. Proceeds were given to the Dax Locke foundation which was set up to raise enough money to run The St. Jude Children’s Hospital in Memphis Tennessee for 1 day, which costs roughly 1.7 million.  To date, the foundation has raised 1.6 million.  $20,000 was raised last night, I believe just through ticket sales.  The entire theatre was set up with Dax Locke foundation information, items, and donation boxes.  T-shirts, ornaments, pretty much everything you can imagine.

When we arrived, the line to get in was wrapped around the theatre.  If you have been to the theatre you will know that this means you are not very close to the door.  I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why if we had a ticket the line was so long and I had to pee so bad, I considered going behind a car.  Until it occurred to me that none of these children asked for cancer.  I didn’t need to complain about waiting in line or being uncomfortable.  It was a short wait and then the line moved swiftly.

They had 6 showings.  Two at 5, two at 7 and two at 9.  For a little extra money you could see Matthew West perform and watch the movie.  Those tickets were sold out so we were in the movie only section.

When you sit down you know you are about to embark on a journey that is far bigger than you will ever be as a human being.  The theatre was filled with people of all ages, color, etc.  Young and old.  Men and woman.  Not something you typically see in a theatre.  It actually was hard to breathe.  I say that because I have personally gone through this journey with my Aunt and Uncle whose daughter Molly lost her battle with a brain tumor.  They were coming to the late showing and we knew they were going to have a very hard time getting through this movie. 

You pretty much cry through the whole thing.  It was an incredibly powerful story but sadly one that so many parents have to go through.  I can think of fewer things in this world that would be as bad as outliving your children, especially a child who never gets to grow up.  I got really angry at one point.  Molly barely got to be an infant.  Jetty is only 4.  I don’t get it.  I do not understand why we can spend billions and billions and billions of dollars on a space program, but we cannot cure cancer.  I had a professor in college who assured us that we could cure cancer as well as all the other diseases we have, but we don’t because we have no other way to control our population.  I don’t know how I feel about that, but obviously it stuck in my head for me to remember it all these years later. 

It is one of those things that as a human being you can sit back and say, wow, I am so lucky my kids are healthy, but you still feel empathy and sadness for anyone that has to go through this.  You cannot personally grasp it until you DO physically go through it.  And even then I would imagine the shock of it all is surreal. 

There were a couple powerful moments during the night, but a specific one hit home hard in the movie.  It was after they brought Dax back home for his final days; his father (speaking to his mother) said something to the affect that Dax didn’t know he was not going to grow up.  He had no comprehension of what he was missing out of in life.  He couldn’t long for days he would never see.  That was them that would miss them.  Not him.  They would be sad that he would never get the chance to grow up.  That they had to live in the moment and make each MOMENT the best moment it could possibly be.  I thought how amazingly unselfish of an act that was for them as parents.  To focus on what he would see and do in his remaining days, NOT on all the things he would never see.  It takes an incredibly strong person/parent to put themselves to the side and do that.  And maybe that is why this story hit home with so many people so profoundly? 

The other couple moments that were powerful is when they introduced Matthew West, who we did NOT get to see perform, but visited with us after the show, as well as Dax’s parents and his baby sister.  These are simply ordinary people doing extraordinary things.  But seeing them in person and listening to them speak, was overwhelming.

I could not stop thinking about my Aunt and Uncle.  Dax’s message was cherish every moment.  Molly’s message was a profound lesson in unconditional love. I had no idea how they were going to sit through this.  I had no idea what kind of thoughts would go through their heads.  I knew they would be overwhelmed and I knew they would be ecstatic at the fact that the foundation had raised almost enough $ to operate the hospital for the day.  I just wanted God to wrap his arms around them and get them through it, just as he had their own nightmare.  Mostly though it reminded me of a night in the hospital room when they both said, we have begged God to let us keep her.  Even if she has special needs.  We will take care of her.  We will love her no matter what.  Her quality of life is so much more important to us than the quantity.  And I thought then, how incredibly unselfish of them to want this child NO MATTER WHAT.

And it was then that The Heart of Christmas message came to through.

Dear God we have sensationalized this holiday to the point that if you are not capable of lavishing someone with gifts, you feel inadequate as a human being.  Do we not get everything we want all year anyway?  Do we not get our children everything they want all year?  What if Christmas wasn't about GETTING so many presents, but rather GIVING them.  What if we were raised to give to those less fortunate instead of making a list for ourselves to give to family members?  What if it was like Thanksgiving and we simply sat down and laughed and cherished the moment with our family and friends.  What if?  I am only one person and I certainly know I cannot change the world with my thoughts on the matter but I would love to try.  I do not have children.  I probably never will.  If I did however, I know that we would go to the Children’s Hospital on Christmas Eve and give “our gifts” to those who have to celebrate it in a hospital bed/room.  Is that the true meaning of Christmas?  I have no idea and who am I to say?  It just personally is what I would do.

I guess the biggest lesson I learned and anyone who watched this movie or participated in this event should have also, is to cherish every moment.  Don’t just say you will.  Do it.  Hug your children.  It is that simple.  It is the toughest thing in the world to be…a parent.  Imagine if you had that job taken away from you and you didn’t get a say in the matter?  A hug is the cheapest thing in the world to give.  Give one.