I think if you make a conscious decision to bring a child
into this world, that makes you responsible (up to a certain age) for their
behavior. There is no better person to
dispense parenting advice than a person who is not a parent. Right?
LOL, no, I am guessing most people think this is not something I should
even talk about. Well, I am entitled to
my opinion. And not having any for so
long, or ever really, does at least tell me what I wouldn’t do. Or shouldn’t do. Or dream of doing. Although most of the times my Sister would
say, “I can’t wait until you have kids, since you think this is so easy.” Uh I never said it was going to be easy. But let’s be honest, we all choose our own
battles.
This is tough territory to navigate for a person who has no
kids. But like I said, I certainly have
an opinion about it. I was disciplined
as a child. Spanked if you will. I obviously survived to talk about it. It appears that pretty much everyone who
answered was spanked or also spanked their kids at some point. I don’t think this works for everyone. I mean I think certain kids, for lack of a
better phrase, frankly don’t give a crap if you spank them. I also believe there is a fine line between
spanking and beating…and some people cross that. At which point a child learns at a very young
age, that that is a means to an end.
I personally don’t think discipline, meaning the
consequences of harmful actions, solves the problem that is rampant today. Or what I VIEW to be rampant. What I see, with my OWN eyes, is the lack of
respect children have not just for their parents or siblings, but for other
human beings as well. It is obvious in disrupted
classrooms, in public places, in bullying, etc.
We are taught right from wrong, or we should be, fairly early. How we treat people is also a learned behavior.
There are so many variables that factor in how children
behave around other people. Is this a
little bit harder for a single parent to instill? It has to be.
They have to be the good cop AND the bad cop. It is also harder for two parents or
guardians who perhaps don’t see eye to eye on how things should be. If you don’t present a united front, it’s
pretty hard to teach respect at any level.
When I was growing up, we had a real babysitter. Someone who came and physically did things
with us. Today, the TV, IPod, video
game, computer whatever, is the babysitter.
There is no reason for a child to have any interaction with people if
they don’t want to. How does that help
socialization skills? Also, most
babysitters today are grandparents. They
are tired. They have already raised
their kids. I don’t know of many who
have the energy to do projects with them, but would rather plop in a video and
stare at the boob tube. No this is not
all of them, but it is easier. Technology
has made it EASIER for people to not have to have physical contact with one
another.
We are a product of our environments, I don’t care who you
are. It takes some seriously deep
digging to get to the bottom of why we act the way we do certain times and I
don’t know many people who are willing to even go look for it. No one is perfect. Parenting has to be the hardest job out
there. Perhaps why I have never tackled
it.
From a personal aspect, if one of my nieces or nephews did
something wrong, my first reaction to my siblings is STOP PROVIDING. Take something away that matters to them and
treat it like a privilege and not an item to use as a bargaining chip. Using the computer. It is a privilege. Not a luxury you get. Take away the keys to the car you are paying
for. Hand them a dust rag or teach them
how to do laundry. They have to know how
to do these things someday. Perhaps they
should prepare dinner with you. For sure
do the dishes…but hell, we have dishwashers nowadays, just put them in there
and let an electronic device do the work for you.
I am not a parenting expert.
Don’t want to be one, don’t pretend to be one. I have no idea the daily struggles a parent
endures. I also would not want to be a
teacher. They spend more time with these
children during the week than some of their own parents. It would break my heart to see some of these
kids. Most of them just want attention
and therefore misbehave to get it. Factor
in a divorced family of young kids, even harder. Or the single parent. It isn’t easy. Consistency is vital.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THRESHOLD THAT EDUCATES CHILDREN IS THE
VERY ONE THEY CROSS GOING IN AND OUT OF THEIR HOMES.
I don’t know how I would discipline my own child until I was
in the situation. But I know that
everything I do or do not do with them or for them or whatever, would be a
reflection of me. BUT. HOLD THE PHONE. There are some really wonderful parents, who
have children that do some not so wonderful things no matter how hard they try…soooooooo,
then what? Then who do we blame? I do know that what would be of utmost
important to ME as a person and as a parent would be how they treat
others. Never to judge. Which is all good and well until they get
older and start spending time with their peers and seeing that some people do judge
others and it appears ok to do so.
If you ask me it’s a never ending cycle. A 24 HR a day job, that goes on as long as
that child is alive. You are a fool if
you think once they are 18 they are no longer your concern. Once a parent, always a parent. It is a sometimes incredibly thankless
job. And I for one have a tremendous
amount of respect for anyone who is one.
I do not have any respect however for people that have children who
cannot take care of them, by choice.
There is nothing worse for me than to see a person want to be a parent
so bad and not be able to be and then hear about people who have 6 kids who
were found living in a closet with their own filth because mom went somewhere
to visit her boyfriend.
I think I will just raise puppies.
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