Rumor Has It

I hate rumors.  Hate is a strong word, but I truly mean it.  I hate how they breed, I hate how they are born, I hate how they are raised and I hate how they are put to rest.  No good comes out of them.  I have been the victim of several in my lifetime, 90% of which were not true, but no one bothered to ask about the other 10%.  I would prefer you came directly to my face and said, “I heard…” and then I will respond first with, “and this affects your life how, and don’t worry I won’t ask where you heard it from,” because rarely is that the person who started it and I have no interest in the rubbish spewing forth out of Satan’s mouth.  I truly believe that as well.  Rumors are started to create drama, drama causes confrontation, and confrontation leads to the loss of friendships, relationships…family. 

I heard a rumor.  Rumor has it.  There is a rumor going around.  It doesn’t matter how you say it, no good comes from it.  Never ever have I heard a rumor that saved the world, a life, anything…but I have witnessed many destroy them.

First and foremost, there are two sides to every story.  And odds are the stories will be vastly different.  Second, if you don’t want someone to know something, you won’t tell someone else NOT to say anything.  Lastly, what kind of a person relishes in ruining someone else’s life?  Someone who is particularly not fond of the one they are living I say.

When I was younger, the rumors would hurt to the core.  A form of bullying if you will.  Later in life as I grew a backbone, at least a Titanium one, I realized the kind of person who would start one, or send one on its merry way.  And I learned that by reacting to it or responding to it in any way, would only add fuel to the fire.  And sometimes I would empathize with the pathetic person, I mean because it is sad, some of the people who start them and feed off of them.  But then I grew to just turn the other cheek.  If you know me at all, you know that I do not do that very easily. 

I met a man many years ago, a wise man.  His name is Ernie and he told me there are 3 things you should worry about when a person is spreading rumors.  1) Does it affect your family?  2) Does it cost you any money?  3) Do you have to sleep with it?  If you can answer no to all of those, stay the hell out of it.  If you answer yes to any of them, you have a divine right to get to the bottom of it. 

The worst rumor ever fabricated about me is that I caused a divorce and destroyed a family.  Newsflash…I wasn’t brought in to sign the divorce papers…the divorce happened because two people were miserable with one another…I didn’t MAKE anyone do ANYTHING.  But I sucked it up and took the crap that was being said and I held my head up because after all, I had to consider the source.  And believe me when I say when there is true happiness in your life, you can’t find the time to start that rumors.  There is no place for it.  I was called a lot of hurtful things.  Things I will never forgive some people for.  I would have considered forgiving had said people bothered to talk to me about it, but they never did and never have. 

Honest to God if you want to know something about me, ask.  I will tell you the truth.  In fact brutal honesty is one of my best qualities or biggest downfalls, depending on how you look at it.  But by God don’t sit there and fabricate stuff.  If I want to know something about someone I ask.  Go to the source.  The source has a choice to answer my question and tell me the truth.  That is if they want the truth to be told.  Honest to God, I decided a long time ago that whatever I was going to do I was not going to be ashamed of it and if it would cause me to be so, that I probably shouldn’t be doing it.

Two phrases or statements or sentences if you will, that I despise.  “They say.”  And “I heard.” Usually they say is followed by the weather which usually doesn’t personally hurt anyone, unless it literally rains on your parade…but you catch my drift.

I don’t know how others feel, but if you want to know something about me, ask me.  If you want to know something about my siblings, ask them.  Before you start asking though, ask YOURSELF why you are asking in the first place?  Does it affect your family, does it cost you money, and do you have to sleep with it?  Then it probably really isn’t your business anyway to be asking in the first place.

I just think we have enough going on in the world and in our own lives to not bother with anyone else’s.

The ones I currently hate the most right now?  The ones that come out of High School girls mouths.  When did girls become so mean?  Products of their environment I say (that’s another Blog)…but it is brutal and it was never like that when I was in school.  You could not pay me to have a teenage girl right now.  I would have 3 boys over 1 girl any day.  And learning that people who start rumors and spread them are terrible, sad and jealous people is something that comes with time and experience.  You can’t tell your child that because they won’t understand.  Because we were not born to be hurtful creatures…we are taught this.

Anyway, I best get off this soap box…but the following are some great quotes (because I adore quotes) about rumors…and of course my current favorite creature in the world has wrote a song about it, so of course I included that for you! 

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.  ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.  ~Jewish Proverb

What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.  ~Chinese Proverb

When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.  ~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.  ~Author Unknown

The Puritan's idea of hell is a place where everybody has to mind his own business.  ~Wendell Phillips, attributed

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.  ~Spanish Proverb

Do not repeat anything you will not sign your name to.  ~Author Unknown

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules.  ~Douglas Adams

Show me someone who never gossips, and I'll show you someone who isn't interested in people.  ~Barbara Walters

It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people's business.  ~Dolley Madison

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.  ~Errol Flynn

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.  ~Shana Alexander

There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.  ~F.H. Bradley, Aphorisms

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.  ~John Tudor

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress.  ~Liz Smith

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.  ~Napoleon I, Maxims

The biggest liar in the world is They Say.  ~Douglas Malloch

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.  ~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, July 1735

AND MY FAVORITE!!!! 
There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us. ~Edward Wallis Hoch

RUMOR HAS IT-ADELE