Jesus, there is something in my contacts

Me: Good Morning to my favorite little people!  How are we today?  Dalton/Kolbie: Fine.  Me: How was your weekend?  Dalton: Awesome.  Me: Why? Did something fun happen?  Did you get a new game? Did you stay up for 3 days straight without sleeping?  Kolbie: I got a new phone.  Me: What?  Why?  When? Speaking of, your birthday is coming up; Grandma Rita needs to know what you want.  She says when she asks you that you just tell her nothing because your parents are buying you everything you want?  Kolbie:  Well they are.  Me: What could you possibly need, you have everything.  What could either of you want? 

Me: Dalton James, it is after Thanksgiving, we can sing Christmas Carols now!  Kolbie: Please don’t.  Me: You guys are so not fun.  Dalton: Jesus didn’t believe in himself.  Me:  Huh?  What are you talking about?  Dalton: Like we all believe in him, it is people’s religions.  Me: Well if Jesus didn’t believe in himself who did? Dalton: Lots of people duh, I mean he didn’t pray to himself.  Kolbie:  Dalton, you don’t know that, were you there?  You don’t even go to Church.  Dalton: No Kolbie are you stupid, you weren’t there either.  Jesus went to Church to pray for himself?  I don’t think so.  Me: Why are we talking about this?  Dalton: He was a Jew anyway.  And it doesn’t mean the same thing like it did back then.  Me: I just wanted to sing Christmas Carols, how did we arrive at Jesus not praying to himself?  Dalton:  Aunt Tiff is my eye red?  Me: Uh, yeah, it sure is.  Dalton: I have to go home.  Me: Right now, we are almost to school for the love?  Dalton: Yeah, my contact case is at home and I have nowhere to put my contact if I take it out.  Me: Oh Dear God, let’s get a cup and put it in some water.  Dalton: I don’t have a cup.  Me: WE WILL FIND ONE.  Maybe Aunt Dee Dee hasn’t left home yet; she can run by your house and get your glasses and case.  Dalton: Can’t you just call my mom?  Me: Sure, here.  I will walk you in to the school and we will wait for Aunt Dee Dee in the office.  Dalton: I am not allowed to walk into the school using that door.  Me: Oh my hell, if you go in with me and we tell Deb you are having a crisis, it will be ok.  Here, we will use the cup my broken ring is in.  It’s a pee cup, but it’s never been pee’d in, so it will be fine.  Dalton: I am not carrying that into school.  Me: Fine, let’s go, I will carry it. 

Walking to sidewalk…Dalton: Aunt Tiff, it doesn’t hurt anymore.  Me: Are you serious?  Well now what, Aunt Dee Dee is on her way with your stuff.  Dalton: Yeah, I don’t need it anymore.  It’s fine.  See you later.  Me: Standing there watching them walk into the school…wondering what the sam hell just happened.