Tuesday, November 8, 2011

They're Bacccckkkkkkkk!


Dalton: Aunt Tiff, uh, yeah, generally when it is pouring down rain and you are picking someone up you should not have your doors locked.  Me: Uh, yeah, didn’t know they were sorry, I swear you will not melt. 

Me: Good morning favorite young people, how are we today?  Dalton/Kolbie in Unison: FINE.  Me: If you could ask a phone any question in the world, what you would ask it?  Dalton: You really have to ask?  Kolbie:  You got your IPhone didn’t you?  Me: I did, and I love it.  No one is getting a Christmas present this year because I had to spend all my money on myself.  SILENCE.  Me: Seriously, though, what would you ask it?  SILENCE.  Kolbie: Ask it if its butt is smelly.  Dalton: Kolbie, Jesus.  Me: That is the one question you would ask it?  Kolbie:  Ok, ask it if your farts stink.  Dalton: She is sooooo stupid.  Me: Um, no I will not ask it dumb questions.  Me to Siri: Is Kolbie a bad girl?  Siri: Ok, from now on I will refer to you as “bad girl.” Me: Oh my hell, no, cancel that!

Me: Really Dalton, you can’t think of anything to ask it?  Kolbie: Ask it what is the next X-Box game to come out that is the only thing he cares about.  Me: What will the newest X-Box game to come out.  Siri: Would you like the web results for X-Box games?  Me: Yes.  Siri: Here are the web results for X-Box games.  Me: Look Dalton, it took me right to Game Stop, will that tell us?  Dalton: Uh, yeah, I don’t really care; I have to go the bathroom real bad?  Me: Pee or poop?  Dalton: Crap, I have to take a crap.  Me: Dear God, why didn’t you say so, I would have driven faster. 

Me: Look Dalton, we got here before the buses even let out! Dalton: Yeah, Love you.  OH MY HELL HE SAID IT BEFORE ME!!!! 

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