Be Thankful...

This is the time of year that Facebook is full of daily status updates about things people are thankful for.  Don’t get me wrong, it is great and I love hearing them.  I personally think Thanksgiving is a lot like Valentine’s Day though, and we should be thankful all year round, not just on or around the day named so accordingly.  Just like when you love someone, most days should be Valentines.  However, this is probably why I do not work for Hallmark.  I’ve never actually applied to work for Hallmark, but I am guessing I would epically fail that part of the interview. 

I am thankful for a lot of things.  If I did a countdown of things I am thankful for up until Thanksgiving you would get your standard list of things that most of us are thankful for…our health, our family, our jobs, food to eat, roof over our head etc.  And I am very grateful and thankful for all of those things.  I probably thank God for them more than most people realize.  But if you want me to be truly honest with you about what I am most thankful for, here is my list.  I am guessing most of you will not find these surprising.  Some of them may come across as harsh.  I am only being honest. 

I am thankful for:

• Hot water…I cannot imagine not having any.  Seriously.  
• Choosing Brodie at a time in my life when it was probably not a good idea to get another dog.  With him I am never alone.
• That God gave me a “child” with special needs so that I could understand the struggles those with human children go through.
• That God decided a long time ago that I should not be a parent to a human child.  I will never know the reasons exactly, but I am confident he knows what he is doing.  I don’t care who you are or what your job is, the hardest thing in the world to be is a parent and I don’t think I am cut out for it.
• That I am not in a wheelchair after my accident.  Not only should I be dead, but at the very least, I should have never walked again.
• That I have the ability to express myself using words.  A lot of people cannot show emotion, physically, mentally or emotionally.  I don’t think that I was put on this earth to be the voice for other people, but I do feel it is why I have earned respect from people.  I truly am thankful for being able to express myself because I cannot imagine living in a world where that would be difficult.
• Pretty amazing friends.  I have lifelong friends whom I do not have to be around every day for us to be able to pick up where we left off.  High school friends who I can sit down with and go back as if it was yesterday.  I have friends whom have become more like family to me than some of my own family.  If you are lucky enough to have a friend or two who will do anything for you, you have lived a pretty remarkable life.
• My college degree.  It was not an easy thing for me to obtain.  I struggled but when I set my mind to something, I can accomplish anything.  Some of the best years of my life were spent utilizing that very degree.  
• My parent’s happiness.  Their divorce should have happened a very long time ago.  Life is entirely too short to spend it in a miserable situation, I do not care what that situation is.  There is something incredibly profound you, as a child feel when you witness true happiness in someone you love.  
• Last but not least, I am thankful for unanswered prayers.  That is something that has taken me a very, very long time to grasp.  You can’t always get what you want.  But if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need.  I have spent a lot of my life wishing I had someone to share my life with.  I have recently learned that another human being cannot validate you.  As much as someone tells you this, you have to learn it yourself.  Only you can validate yourself.  I am pretty confident now that the reason I had to go through all of the “wrong” people was because the “right” one will be worth it.  I have to believe that.  I have to believe in something.  I refuse to believe that God wants me to be alone.  Obviously, one of us is not ready…because I am still alone.  But it is ok.  My 39^th Thanksgiving to be thankful for myself.

I am not perfect.  Far from it.  Don’t claim to be.  I am extremely thankful that I am flawed and imperfect.  That I make mistakes and bad choices.  That I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, even when it continues to hurt me. 

I am really, really thankful that I am who I am.  I wouldn’t want me any other way.