O C D

I have OCD.  For sure not as bad as some people I know...but regardless, I may as well get it out there for the entire world to know.  It is probably a blessing that I am living with Father, because it is worse when I have my own place.  See, the “dwelling” I reside in is the very basement I grew up in.  The very basement that has accumulated 35 years of everyone’s stuff that has ever lived there.  My Mother, God love her, was a borderline hoarder.  Things, decorations, making the house a home stuff made my mom happier than anything.  I used to love our house at Christmas…it was so beautiful.  35 years is a lot of stuff to accumulate though. 

I had no intentions of staying this long…honestly…I came home to get mom better (obviously didn’t get that done) and back to Minnesota I was going…Things obviously happened and I am still here almost 10 years later.  God I am getting old.  Anyway, I have always been ready to GO…gave away most of my personal belongings, all of my furniture, some to Mom, some to Nephew…I have my dresser, my clothes, and my bed.  It is rather interesting how little you really need to survive.  My point is I never dreamed in a million years I would still be here, so all the stuff that I am surrounded by never bothered me, because it wasn’t mine.  What I am really trying to say is that if you were to come in to my dwelling you would not know I have OCD…of all the things in my life, I hide it well.  UNLESS YOU REALLY know me, then you see it.  Actually there are probably things that I do that I don’t even realize I do.

So here it goes…baring it all here.  All of my idiosyncrasies…or my OCD issues as I like to call them.

I have to have Chapstick, or Carmex, or anything to moisten my lips at all times.  I don’t really care what it is, I am not THAT OCD, but I will freak out if I don’t have SOMETHING.  I mean really freak out.  I have raided my Father’s chapstick stash (this could be where the problem started) in the middle of the night.

I have to have fingernail clippers.  (Interestingly so does my Father.)  I do this little thing with my thumb and all my fingers, where I will rub them and if it doesn’t feel symmetrical, I will clip it.  I lose these clippers a lot.  More than a person should.  And some day, when I do move, I will have enough to put a pair in my car, at work, all my pants, etc.  I have panic attacks when I don’t have clippers.  I find it really disheartening when I don’t have them and I ask, and no one else does either…I mean you need to breathe don’t you?  It’s like holding my breath when I don’t have them.

I love sheets.  I probably have more than a single person should have.  I have T-shirt sheets, I have flannel sheets, I have Sateen sheets, I have Woolrich sheets…it depends on the time of year and my mood.  I absolutely love when I put new ones on, and make the bed like a cocoon.  They have to come up to my neck at just the right place and be tucked in just right.  Over the whole king sized bed.  I will lie on my back and pull them up and arrange them before I ever dream of sleeping. 

I am not a sectional eater…you know the kind of person who eats one part of their meal first, then another, then another.  But I don’t like my food touching.  If there are 3 separate things on the plate, I need to see space between them.  If I want all of my stuff mixed together, I will make it that way in the first place.  Separate items and then slop em together?  No thanks…if that is how I want it, I will cook it that way.  I will eat a bite of this and a bite of that…I don’t have to have them one at a time…I just need to see they have their own space.  Don’t ask because I honestly don’t know why.  I didn’t have a bad experience with food touching. 

I must have symmetry in my gum packs.  Not kidding.  I cannot have more pieces on one side than the other.  It doesn’t look right.  I like things to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye.  However you would not know this by looking at my dwelling.  So just look at my gum packs.  They are orderly and organized.

Most people have their email Inboxes full of stuff they need to read, or haven’t gotten to, or something they want to save.  I cannot have anything in my inbox.  I read it and properly file it…delete it, forward it, save it, whatever…but literally I have to check my inbox often so I can clean it up.  I feel unfinished if there is stuff in it…even the Junk folder.  Same way with texts…I don’t want to open my messaging App and have 20 messages in there…that means I haven’t finished something, like the conversation.  If it is gone, I am done with the conversation and can move about my happy little day.

You know how some people have to wash their hands BEFORE they eat?  I have to wash mine AFTER as well.  Like more than once.  I won’t specify how many times, but it is more than once. 

I am sure there are more things I could share but none that I am aware of.  If you know some that I forgot, please feel free to share.  I have nothing to hide.