Free Vodka

I wish most of you could have met my Grandma Rosie.  Some of you had, but most of you probably not.  She was a force to be reckoned with for sure.  My poor Grandfather endured the worst of it in the later years…she was constantly screaming his name.  CHARRRRRLES!  And the poor man would stop whatever he was doing and go see what she needed.  Rarely was it important, but he went anyway.  It was easier.

I used to think she was the glue that held our family together.  If she wanted EVERYONE there for Sunday dinner, EVERYONE better be there for Sunday dinner.  It was tradition to go to her and Grandpa’s house Christmas Eve.  Snack, go to Mass, open presents, eat some more.  It was one of my favorite days of the year.  They didn’t have a big house but a lot of us crammed in it and it was special.  Christmas dinner was always Mostacolli and Meatballs…the homemade stuff…not out of a box.  Brad and Michelle have held on to this tradition to this day. 

There is so much I could tell you about her, but the reason for my post is to tell you about her love for Vodka.  On the rocks.  Maybe tonic with a twist, but rarely.  I personally only saw my Grandmother drink Vodka one time that I can remember, but it was a special time and it would be the first and last time I ever saw her drunk.

It was my college graduation party.  We were having it at Marion’s Other Place, which is now Moonbeams.  Marion was a force to be reckoned with herself, so when she found out Grandma wanted vodka, on the rocks, she was ecstatic!!  It just happened that one of Marion’s distributors had conned her into trying the newest “it” vodka at the time, which was called Fris.  Two dots over the i.  Made in Denmark.  It is technically pronounced FREEZE because well, that is how they distill it.  Anyway, Marion was so glad to get someone to try it.  Due to our small town ways, no one had any idea it was pronounced FREEZE, so Marion called it FREE Vodka all night.  Sure Gram wanted to try it, what the heck!  Who doesn’t want FREE Vodka?  I don’t know if she thought mom and dad bought a bottle like they bought a keg, or what, she didn’t care.  Keep them coming.  I have no idea to this day how many she actually drank.  I know she was dancing with Bubba Braten and she was having fun and not screaming at Grandpa, so he was happy!  If she didn’t have one of us running to the bar for more FREE vodka, she was getting her own. 

It was all fun and games until Grandpa thought he had better take her home and asked for their tab.  Again, I don’t recall how many she drank, but he thought Marion had given him the wrong ticket.  I don’t even remember how much it was for; I just know that he argued with Marion for quite some time.  She said Charles, Rosie’s drinks are on there as well…to which he replied, how can that be she was drinking FREE vodka all night?  Marion said, dammit Charles I know, I served her.  Well Marion, how the hell much does FREE vodka cost if it’s FREE?  Marion replies, Charles, I don’t make the shit, I just sell it and God Bless her she just about wiped me out of FREE vodka! You can imagine how long this continued until Grandma caught on and screamed at him to just pay the woman.  Money was important to Grandpa.  He didn’t like parting with it especially when he didn’t understand what he was buying.

I am pretty sure that he did not realize what happened until sometime later and by this time, none of us were in any shape to argue.  But when he did find out that she had been putting the most expensive Vodka around at the time on his tab all night,  I am pretty sure she was never allowed to drink it again.  Of course she laughed.  Hard.  At the hilarity of it all.  Good stuff that was.