A Letter To Myself, THE END

Here it is, the end of the letter to myself...I am sure there will be more letters to write and more chapters to finish...

Tiff, I did not intend this letter to be so long, but I wanted to remind you of some things, certain things that formed and molded you into the human being you are today.  So much has happened to you.  I wanted you to know that IT IS OK.

Good lord, no you don’t have a terminal disease or something like that, but it is okay that you hit rock bottom…everyone does at some time.  It is OKAY that you live your life with your heart on your sleeve.  It is OKAY that you are an emotionally sensitive person.  It is one of the things I love most about you.  It is OKAY that you no longer have the bar because you sold it for all the right reasons.  It is OKAY that you do not have a plan after the cruise that you were supposed to still be on.  It is OKAY that you are not married, have no children of your own (you are so proud of the people Ethan, Dalton, Bella and Kolbie are becoming,) or own your own home.  It is OKAY that your arthritis most likely manifested itself into Lupus.  It is OKAY that your parents despise one another, because your mom is happier than you have ever seen her and your Dad is too once he gets over his bad self.  It is OKAY that you are 39 and you broke your hand because you got drunk and fell.  It is OKAY that your sister can handle Weight Watchers and you can’t, she can handle so much more than you ever dreamed and it is okay that you are jealous she has her own family.  It is OKAY that your brother has been to every state and that he gets to go to your favorite lake 2 or 3 times a year, he's a good daddy.  It is OKAY that your friends in Minnesota miss you.  It is OKAY that you miss them.  It is OKAY that for all intents and purposes you are broke.  And most of all it is OKAY that you have fallen in love with a woman who isn’t ready quite yet, because she will be and because you believe in your heart she is the one.  And it is OKAY that everyone thinks you are nuts for doing so, because you also believe in God and even though you can’t see him, and neither can they, no one thinks you are nuts for believing in him. 

What I love most about you is that you love unconditionally.  You don’t know how NOT to.  You hate labels and boxes and you beat to your own drummer and color a little outside of the lines.  I love the passion with which you have gone for everything you have gone for.  You forget what it feels like to be passionate about something.  You have a gift in writing.  Use it.  DO SOMETHING WITH IT.  You forget people love being around you.  You forget you make people laugh.  You forget that you brighten peoples days sometimes just by saying hello.  You forget sooooooooooo much.  I am here to remind you.  Everything you have and everything you need is already right there inside you. 

After all of that, you truly love yourself.  More than you ever have.  And it shows.  People want to be around you.  Quit having expectations of people, they will continuously let you down.  You are a Cubs and Bears fan, you are used to disappointment.  You still get incredibly down on yourself at times and you will be fine if you would just get out of your own way.  You are blessed, in so many ways you are.  You are going to make someone very lucky one day.  Truth is you had to go through all that to get to her…and trust me when I say it will be worth it.  And you are beautiful.  Even without 6 pack abs.  One of the most beautiful people I have ever met.  Share it girl.

Much love Tiffany-

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