Rhetta-ictionary

One of my favorite websites is called Urban Dictionary.  I have added it to my Blog actually, on the left hand side.  Just click the link and you can see it for yourself.  It definitely appeals more to my age demographic and college age students than say perhaps my mother’s age group.  The website defines new words, that I am sure will never make it to Websters, but words that some of us should consider using!  Either way, I would recommend it.  Some of the words are high-larious.

Anyway, I have my own personal Urban Dictionary.  To know her is to love her.  I haven’t met anyone that doesn’t love her.  She is the kind of person everyone needs in their life.  She picks you up, sometimes just by saying really stupid things.  Well, what would be considered stupid to some, but not to those of us who get to converse with her.

Her name is Rhetta Sheldon.  She is my cousin.  She just turned the BIG 30 this year and she has a vocabulary that you truly have to hear to believe.  She lives in Chicago and I don’t get to see her nearly enough, but when I need her she is always there.  She knows how much she means to me, but I am sure it makes her feel good to hear it in a public forum.  Not including immediate family, (siblings, parents) she is one of my Top 5 Favorite People.

I am sure I will forget some of the Rhettaisms and if you know her, feel free to add some, but here are the ones that come to mind.  With the help and courtesy of Cousit Lori, Brother Andy and Father Bill, here is our Rhetta-ictonary.

****DISCLAIMER****  Some of these words/phrases, are not suitable for children or frankly, some adults either.

Dis Wan-
short for this one.

Vegas the clocks-
cover the clocks when it’s too late to still be awake, or early depending on what time it is.

Hoffed Herself-
when you sit on the floor in a drunken stupor and eat a hamburger, or whatever, and someone may or may not be video tapping your stupidity to share on YouTube.

Oly One-
short for only one.

I Got This!-
She claims to have things under control (she stole this from Aunt Lori).

Feel like a bucket of busted a**holes-
she probably Vegas’d the Clocks and Hoffed Herself in the same night.

Dericious-
delicious, duh, but a much more fun way of saying it.

Sangwich-
I think she stole this from Jersey Shore, Andy says she made it up, either way it’s a sandwich but it’s more fun when she says it this way

Purt-
Put, of course

REALLY!!!  REALLY!!!!-
said with zeal and zest to basically make you feel stupid, like are you serious?

Shut the Front Door-
shut up!, which has variations which you use accordingly depending on how bad you want someone to shut up…shut the side door, the garage door, the back door, the sliding glass door…

Make it go-
for when she can’t make something go, usually her 4-wheeler, or sometimes she is referring to her beverages.

I know but I don’t want to…will you do it for me-

pretty much everything she needs to do.

It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me-
she doesn’t like whatever is happening, at all.

The First Bank of Dad-
where she does her banking.

I miss your face-
pretty much if you get one of these, you are special.

Hungry as a Hostage-
she is starving.

Derious-
pronounced Der-He-Is, it was the name of her turtle, but when you can’t find someone or something and you do, it would be applicable to use it then to state you have found that someone or something.

Stupe-
pronounced STOOP, as in short for stupid.  Sister however thought it was pronounced STOOP-E, which is even funnier than calling someone a Stupe. 

________Saved My Life-
she got this from me.  It is when you eat something late in the game, i.e. after several drinks, but you do so at such a time as it probably saves your life that night.  Example, that Sangwich saved my life.

Easy-Mac-
the only food you need to have in your pantry at home.

Touch Me-
hug me, duh.

Sinceuous-
a combination of since you was, as in, since you was up, I will have another beer.

Hug from Jesus-
again, from me, but it’s when something feels or tastes so good, you swear the man himself just hugged you.  The pork that comes with the fajitas that we order at On The Border, is like a hug from Jesus.

FYA-
It means I love you in French.

FYF-
It means I love you in Italian.

Shut your face off-
Please shut up.

Open your effing eyes jack***-
you had to be there but this phrase is used when you want to tell someone that something is right in front of them and they act stupe like they don’t know this.

Get down with the get down-
Fornicate

Everything n everything-
A combination of everything.

Wooooow-
Just an extended version of wow.

Yeeeeah-
An extended version of yeah.

I’m Drunker than 10 Men-
Self explanatory

I didn't know-
usually used when you tell her something really important and she has no clue what you are speaking of

You truly have to be there to witness some of these and to see how appropriate they are when used in certain situations.   And ironically, only she knows when they are appropriate…spend a few days with her though and I promise you will a) have a new language, and b) fall in love with her.  If you don’t, well then FYA.